The Dream Police

Hey, that sounds like the title of an award-winning science fiction story. But it’s not.

Mange State University is now punishing white heterosexual students for things they say and do in minority students’ dreams.  Punishments range from mandatory sensitivity training to expulsion and forfeiture of tuition. Offending students are also required to become the personal servants of those students whose dreams they have disturbed.

“People want to know how you can be held responsible for something that you do in someone else’s dream,” said Prof. Joe Djugashvili, the university’s Diversity Mullah. “Well, we don’t care about that stupid racist question! We are concerned that minority students here at Mange live in a safe space even in their sleep! We are serving notice on white heterosexual students that they no longer can expect to get away with perpetuating microaggressions in a minority student’s dreams–while the poor minority student is lying there defenseless, you know.”

But how can it be proved that a white heterosexual student did, in fact, appear in a minority student’s dream and commit an act of microaggression?

“We don’t care about that stupid racist question, either!” Djugashvili said. “We ask another question: Can you prove you didn’t? Huh? Huh? And they never can! Besides, only a racist or a sexist or an ablist or a cissexist or an agist or a classist would ever say a minority student was lying!”