The Dream Police

Hey, that sounds like the title of an award-winning science fiction story. But it’s not.

Mange State University is now punishing white heterosexual students for things they say and do in minority students’ dreams.  Punishments range from mandatory sensitivity training to expulsion and forfeiture of tuition. Offending students are also required to become the personal servants of those students whose dreams they have disturbed.

“People want to know how you can be held responsible for something that you do in someone else’s dream,” said Prof. Joe Djugashvili, the university’s Diversity Mullah. “Well, we don’t care about that stupid racist question! We are concerned that minority students here at Mange live in a safe space even in their sleep! We are serving notice on white heterosexual students that they no longer can expect to get away with perpetuating microaggressions in a minority student’s dreams–while the poor minority student is lying there defenseless, you know.”

But how can it be proved that a white heterosexual student did, in fact, appear in a minority student’s dream and commit an act of microaggression?

“We don’t care about that stupid racist question, either!” Djugashvili said. “We ask another question: Can you prove you didn’t? Huh? Huh? And they never can! Besides, only a racist or a sexist or an ablist or a cissexist or an agist or a classist would ever say a minority student was lying!”


10 comments on “The Dream Police

  1. It wouldn’t be a surprise if this actually came to a city near us. Insanity runs rampant these days. I can’t even imagine the conversation between God and His angels, watching all of this play out.

  2. This reminds me of an article I read the other day wherein it is alleged that the latest stunt being attempted by Obama is to have the Feds make psychiatric evaluations mandatory for all Americans. According to the article, they apparently believe that nonconformity and freethinking are mental illnesses. Hmmm . . .

    1. That link has been disabled. But they seem to be talking about “opposition defiant disorder,” a new psychiatric condition which used to be known as “being a cantankerous pain in the ass.”

  3. Lee, how do you come up with this stuff? Better watch out, the government will start reading your stuff to get ideas 😉

    By the way, I saw another Centaur last night. Something must be disturbing them. I wonder where they’re going?

    1. They’re heading for the hills, they must know something we don’t know.

      I’d never be able to come up with stuff like this if I lived in sane times.

  4. Great satire, as usual. How about collecting all your satirical articles into book form. You could even self-publish. I believe there is a market for it.

    I had a pastor a few years back who taught we were even responsible for the dreams we have when we are asleep. I don’t know about that, but there does seem to be a ring of truth about it to some extent.

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