Minotaur on the Loose!

The great thing about snow is, it’s just right for preserving footprints. Especially monster footprints.

Here is someone who found a minotaur’s footprints in her yard. She did some research and discovered they must have been made by a minotaur. Somewhere there must be a handbook that shows you what minotaur tracks look like, and how to tell them apart from those of a raccoon or a deer.

A minotaur is half-bull, half-man, usually a strong, bad-tempered guy with a bull’s head. King Minos, King of Crete, used to keep one in his labyrinth. He fed it Greeks. You could look it up.

We’ve warned you that centaurs are real, and they’re pussycats compared to minotaurs.

A spokesman for the President’s Committee on Centaurs, Minotaurs, and Unipeds has denied that there is a government conspiracy to cover up the existence of such creatures. Last year Congress authorized a budget of $615 billion for the committee. This year, says the spokesman, “We will need more–lots more! Minotaurs are becoming a real problem, sneaking around people’s back yards on snowy nights. Sooner or later, somebody’s gonna get eaten.”

A spokesman for the Congressional Scientific Committee on Centaurs, Minotaurs, Unipeds, and Persons With Their Heads on Backwards has stated that these creatures have become active because of Global Warming. “They’re sure to kill a lot of people,” he added, “unless we can pass one helluva huge tax increase. Then everything will be nice again.”