Hi! Mr. Nature isn’t here today, so it is I, Dr. Credulous, presenting overwhelming and undeniable proof that centaurs are really real!
Video doesn’t lie!
All right, I admit one of these five centaurs does look a little hinky, there just might be something about it that’s not 100% kosher. But the other four!
It is believed that Climate Change and Income Inequality have contributed to the increase in centaur sightings. And that makes perfect sense to me–because… I’m Dr. Credulous!
All along we were thinking the jackalope is a mythical beast, and it turns out we were wrong!
Jackalopes have been sighted several times this week in various locations throughout the United States, leading some to believe that the creatures have been purposely released into agricultural areas–released as part of a cunning plan by Russia’s leader, Vladimir Putin, and in cahoots with President Donald Trump–to prevent progressive candidates from being elected to local office.
A spokesman for jackalopes said jackalopes are above politics and have too much self-respect to get involved in it.
The great thing about snow is, it’s just right for preserving footprints. Especially monster footprints.
Here is someone who found a minotaur’s footprints in her yard. She did some research and discovered they must have been made by a minotaur. Somewhere there must be a handbook that shows you what minotaur tracks look like, and how to tell them apart from those of a raccoon or a deer.
A minotaur is half-bull, half-man, usually a strong, bad-tempered guy with a bull’s head. King Minos, King of Crete, used to keep one in his labyrinth. He fed it Greeks. You could look it up.
We’ve warned you that centaurs are real, and they’re pussycats compared to minotaurs.
A spokesman for the President’s Committee on Centaurs, Minotaurs, and Unipeds has denied that there is a government conspiracy to cover up the existence of such creatures. Last year Congress authorized a budget of $615 billion for the committee. This year, says the spokesman, “We will need more–lots more! Minotaurs are becoming a real problem, sneaking around people’s back yards on snowy nights. Sooner or later, somebody’s gonna get eaten.”
A spokesman for the Congressional Scientific Committee on Centaurs, Minotaurs, Unipeds, and Persons With Their Heads on Backwards has stated that these creatures have become active because of Global Warming. “They’re sure to kill a lot of people,” he added, “unless we can pass one helluva huge tax increase. Then everything will be nice again.”
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/1865zbfzzm5uyjpg/original.jpg
For your edification and enjoyment (always provided the picture comes out), I present the jackalope–a rare hybrid of jackrabbit and either white-tailed deer or pronghorn antelope.
It is said the jackalope is not real. Well, neither is a lot of the stuff we have to deal with today, is it?
But it’s at least as real as centaurs. You can’t argue with a picture!
