Tag: wilt chamberlain

‘I Am Entitled’ (2015)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Wilt Chamberlain Dunk Lakers Basketball Photo Print For Sale

That’s me, burning up the NBA!

You wanna talk hate? You wanna talk prejudice?

In spite of my insistence on the fact that I really am Wilt Chamberlain, greatest basketball player ever, people just don’t seem to get it. There must be something very wrong with them!

I am Entitled…

Quite simply, I am Wilt Chamberlain because I say I’m Wilt Chamberlain–and I am entitled to be believed and applauded and–

Waddaya mean, I was Joe DiMaggio last week, and therefor I am not Wilt Chamberlain? I am what I say I am, and you had all better believe it–or else!

We all get our own facts from now on.

‘I Am Entitled…’ (2015)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I remember one of my high school classmates complaining about my debating tactics: “Duigon ridiculized it!” But really there’s very little any satirist can do to make today’s politics more ridiculous than they are by nature. For instance:

I am Entitled…

If I am entitled to be called a woman when I’m not, then surely I’m also entitled to be called “Wilt Chamberlain” if that’s my particular delusion. Really, what’s the difference? How am I ridiculizing something that’s already ridiculous?

As a foundation of civilization, the preposterous looks pretty weak to me.

I am Entitled…

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I am the greatest basketball player in the world, and I am entitled to be recognized as such by each and every one of you. Or else I’ll report you to the Human Rights Commission.

The video proves my claim–just watch! I’m the guy making all those baskets and blocking all those shots. Whoever filmed it mistakenly said it was Wilt Chamberlain when all the time it was me, Lee Duigon. Anyhow, there never was a Wilt Chamberlain. It was always me.

That’s a fact–because I say so. I am entitled to my own facts. And instead of writing me off as crazy, you should all be elbowing each other out of the way to curry favor with me. Build rest rooms specially for me! Allow me to use the women’s showers whenever I please. Invent new pronouns and force college and high school kids to use them. Above all, remember to call me “Wilt” and constantly praise my basketball prowess. Anybody who doesn’t is a bigot and a hater and an enemy of the human race.