Month: November 2012

What’s wrong with this picture?

There’s a commercial on our local radio station advertising some sort of “system” for correcting really bad behavior in children. It starts with a dramatic production of a sorrowing mother addressing her son, “It really hurts me when you tell me, ‘I hate you,’ and you slam the door in my face,” and goes downhill from there.

I dunno: it sounds to me like there’s nothing wrong with this kid that an electric cow prod couldn’t cure. But it goes on to explain that this poor miserable mother has solved her problem by inventing this “system” for straightening out her no-good nasty kid. And here comes the kicker…

We are told that we can trust this system she’s invented because she and her husband–no daddy appears, or is mentioned, in the dramatic portion of the commercial–are professional child psychology experts.

Uh… If you’re an expert on raising children, how did your kid turn into such a polecat in the first place? And based on how the li’l stinker turned out, why in the world would anybody want to take your advice on child-rearing?

Why, that’d be like hiring Democrats to run the country…

First I listened to the bad news on the radio. 1) We are never going to find out what really happened in Benghazi, and no one will ever be held accountable for it. 2) In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, if your home, assessed at, say,  $300,000, was heavily damaged or even totally destroyed, that’s your tough luck–your property tax bill will  remain the same as it was before the storm. That’s so you can keep on paying schoolteachers’ salaries, to say nothing of assistant deputy vice principals and second-grade guidance and self-esteem counselors. 3) They dug up 19 bodies somewhere, murder victims… never mind, turn the damned thing off.

Then, I guess because it started to snow a little, our power conked out again! It’s getting so you just can’t trust your electricity to stay on (welcome to the world of Agenda 21). I was halfway through writing an article, so that work went up in smoke. I had to do it all over again when the power came back on in about two hours.

Jamie Fox (or whatever his name is) says that person in the White House is God, and neither he nor the object of his worship gets blasted for it.

Can I please wake up now?

Are you turkeyed out? In the mood for a nice, juicy hamburger, medium-rare?

Well, here’s something I’ll bet you didn’t know: Medium-rare hamburgers are illegal in Canada.

Don’t take my word for it. See the National Post article from March 2, by Tristin Hopper ( http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/03/02/medium-rare-burgers-are-taboo-in-canada-but-may-not-be-as-perilous-as-thought/ ) By “illegal in Canada” they mean from the Atlantic to the Pacific and all points in between.

This is to protect us from our lame-brained food choices. Government always knows best!

But of course our sometimes perverse and evil “lifestyle choices” remain sacrosanct.

On Thanksgiving Day we always go to my mother’s house, which is far away. This time we didn’t get any turkey–it just wouldn’t cook. It had been frozen, and my brother and sister were trying to rush it. When my brother finally brought it out and started to carve it, he took one look at the first cut and asked, “Anyone want to play Salmonella Roulette?”

So today Patty and I, as we do every year, will have our own turkey here at home. It has just gone into the oven, and will be ready this afternoon.

As we do every year, while the turkey is cooking, we will watch that classic film, Godzilla vs. Megalon. Some of you have probably never seen it–your loss! Some of you are wondering what could possibly be the connection between Thanksgiving and Godzilla (not to mention Megalon, Gigan, Jet-Jaguar, and the rest of the dramatis personae).

Well, gee–aren’t you thankful Godzilla never comes around your neighborhood? Aren’t you happy you don’t live in Seatopia? Get a grip, people…

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Eat all the turkey you please! If you can contrive to eat it in front of a liberal, so much the better.

Yes, our dear friends the liberals are trying to spoil Thanksgiving for us. Remember when “liberal” used to mean “generous” or “big-hearted”? Well, it doesn’t anymore. Academic pinheads are vying with “animal rights” kooks to see who can make the most people feel bad about this holiday.

Here at home, our local newspaper is campaigning against our town’s annual Miss Merry Christmas contest. Their editorial writer–I forget his name: it’s either Fat-head or Jackass–thinks the title of Miss Merry Christmas is not “inclusive” enough. They did succeed in getting our annual  Christmas parade renamed the “Winter Festival,” so now they want Miss Merry Christmas to be called “Miss Earth Spirit” or something like that. As Fat-head said in his editorial, “One girl spurned in this town is one girl too many.” He was upset, you see, that persons who “don’t celebrate Christmas” can’t run for the honor of being Miss Merry Christmas. Actually, anyone can run for Miss Merry Christmas. But no fact ever fazed a liberal.

Do liberals ever do anything but try to spoil other people’s fun, make them feel guilty about this or that or the other, or get into power and enact ruinous public policies? Do they contribute one iota of value to our civilization?

Certainly not.

I was sitting outside this morning when I heard an unusually high-pitched buzzing. I looked around and around, and finally spotted what was making the noise.

It was a drone.

Yup–four propellers and all, definitely not a real aircraft or somebody’s radio-controlled model airplane. It looked small and not very high up, and in less than a minute vanished beyond the rooftop line.

Was it a government drone, or just somebody’s expensive toy?

Now they’re filing a lawsuit to force a Utah school district to keep a book of lesbian propaganda available for kindergarten children.

Do you know how this works? The little pr**k from the ACLU shows up at the school board meeting in his three-piece suit and his little pr**k briefcase and threatens the board members: “Unless you do exactly as we say, we will bankrupt your town.”  Even if the town wins the lawsuit, the legal costs can be crippling.

So the good people of Utah must now pay to have this “lesbian moms” crapola in their grade school libraries–or else!

Why do we tolerate this? Are we dogs, to be kicked? Are we cattle, to be driven? Slaves, to be worked and whipped at the pleasure of our Marxist-homosexualist masters? Why do we put up with it? Who made the ACLU supreme over us?

Once upon a time Americans would not have stood for this. That we endure it today is to our shame.