Year: 2013

A 19-year veteran of the U.S. Air Force has been suspended from duty, received a Miranda warning, and will be court-martialed–for saying he believes that homosexuality is a sin. He said so because his openly-lesbian commanding officer ordered him to state his views. Oops, wrong view.

But hey, I’m cool with that. I see the light. America’s ruling class is head-over-heels in love with sodomy.

All I ask now is that they practice what they preach. Show me you’re sincere, O mighty ones.

Obama and Kerry in a “gay” mockmarriage–with live TV of the “wedding” night activities, because we can’t just take their word for it…

Chris Christie, who says he’s a practicing Catholic (he needs to practice harder) and “it’s not a sin” as far as he’s concerned, starring in a gay porn film…

Stop.

You know something? I can’t write the rest of this. I’m grossing myself out. Besides, the total destruction of morality and decency in the whole Western world just isn’t funny anymore. And how do you satirize the reality of an Air Force sergeant, with 19 years’ honorable service to his name, getting a Miranda warning–as if he’d raped or murdered someone, or robbed a liquor store–for believing what the Bible says is true?

This is the air force which our glorious leaders are so hot to send to war in Syria–and any prayers offered up for victory will be abomination.

I have a very bad feeling about this. Don’t you?

 

Our country’s leaders want a war with Syria, and they mean to have it. But as they drag us, kicking and screaming, into it, there’s a major element missing from the news reporting.

Where are the polls?

Usually by now we’d be up to our eyeballs in “news” stories about polls on this Syrian adventure. After all, it’s the easiest way to cover news–just talk about the polls. Whatever the issue, you’ll hear about polls taken by CNN, USA Today, Gallup, Roper, The New York Times, Washington Post, and all the rest. You could paper your walls with them. So why aren’t we being inundated with poll stories?

Funny things happen when Democrats run foreign policy. The anti-war movement disappears. Pacifists turn into hawks. WMDs that were imaginary when a Republican was in the White House suddenly become real. The GOP’s grovel reflex is activated.

And news stories about polls dry up to the vanishing point.

Oh, there are some polls around. There’s one on my computer’s home page: 80 oppose military intervention in Syria. Some Congressmen have reported 99 percent of their constituents opposed.

That’s the problem. The “news” media is an organ of the Democrat Party, the Democrats want war, and the polls, such as they are, just aren’t giving them the answer that they want to hear. So they don’t talk about polls.

Silly buggers. All they have to do, to get the results they want, is to tweak the poll questions a little more than usual. For instance:

“Are you in favor of helping the Syrian rebels militarily? If you say ‘no,’ the IRS will audit you until the day you die.” Or, “If I were to ask you whether you favored military action against Assad, and if you were inclined to answer in such a way that ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ means no, would you not say ‘yes’?” They’ll get so lost trying to figure that one out, you can report any result you please.

It’s not like they’ve never done it before, is it?

 

I’m so tired of hearing that “companies” and “corporations” and “bankers” are slyly maneuvering the USA to war with Syria “so they can make money.” Please! That’s so 1960s. So Bob Dylan. Besides, there are other reasons every bit as compelling as that stale old conspiracy theory. Here are five of them.

5. It’s all just a movie. None of it’s really happening. We’ve just been made to think it’s real. I admit it’s unlikely; but if you wake up in a straitjacket and there’s no such place as Syria, you’ll remember that I told you so.

4. Global Warming. It causes everything else, so it’s probably pushing us into a war with Syria, too.

3. Homophobia works in very subtle ways. It makes your cigar burn unevenly, for instance. If only everyone would embrace and celebrate sodomy, we’d have world peace.

2. We want the good bloodthirsty savages to rule Syria, not the bad ones. How do you tell them apart? Search me. But it’s important that the right set of homicidal maniacs comes out on top.

1. Idiocy. Plain idiocy is always underrated; but as a motive force in human history, it’ second only to sin. Look at how our machinations in Egypt have turned out. If that’s not clear evidence of idiocy at work, I don’t know what is.

The next time someone goes all Buffy Ste. Marie on you, just trot out one of these.

So my phone rings this morning, and an unfamiliar voice says, “Hello, Grandpa.” It’s a male voice, which makes me suspicious because my grandchildren are girls.

I do have a great-grandson, and I wouldn’t recognize his voice on the phone, and it’s just possible that this might be him. He goes on to tell me he’s out in Las Vegas for a wedding, and he had a bit too much to drink and got in a car accident and some woman and her little child were badly injured and the breathalyzer said he was over the limit, and the judge says he’s gonna have to go to jail… oh, and would I please send bail money?

No sooner had the words, “Sorry, but I don’t have the money to bail you out,” left my lips than the caller hung up.  Of course, if I did have a grandson, he would have known that asking me for bail money would be like asking me for money for a sex-change operation. Ain’t gonna happen, sonny.

And so a word of caution: this is a very common scam, folks. Please don’t fall for it. If you get a phone call from a grandson or granddaughter claiming to be in serious trouble, please send money–don’t. Or at least check it out before you do anything. Ask to speak to the police, for instance. Find out if he really is in a police station. Don’t be a sucker.

A few weeks ago I got an email from someone I know, a minister, saying he’s stuck in the Philippines because he got mugged and they took all his money, and would all his friends please wire him some dough so he can come home… It was fake. The real minister found out about it because someone told him about the email.

If you really must send money to someone you don’t know–hey, send it to me.

Today we celebrate a national holiday dedicated to the labor movement–something that was once good, but is now way, way bad; something that was once necessary, but has become an extravagance that America can no longer afford.

I come from a union family. My grandfather published a union newspaper. He once put up his house as security to bail out a couple of women who had been jailed for trying to organize their co-workers. (Family tradition has it that my grandmother was not amused.) He would not have done these things if he hadn’t thought they were both necessary and right.

Today public employee unions are strangling local, county, and state economies. The primary function of unions today is to launder money for the Democrat party. Unions have driven many companies out of business, thus totally failing in their stated mission to protect “the workers” and their jobs.

Labor Day is also the last holiday before public school starts a new year of corrupting children and indoctrinating them into wickedness and folly.

So what’s so happy about it?

Hey, a holiday’s a holiday. If there were no Labor Day, there would still be unions on America’s back like the Old Man of the Sea, and lousy schools. So we ought to enjoy any and every holiday we get!

Have a family picnic, a cook-out, or just enjoy some well-earned rest and relaxation. Enjoy every good thing that the Lord puts on your table, and give Him thanks for it. Amen, amen!