Trump Says He’ll Step Down!

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Now that he sees how upset liberals are over his election, President-elect Donald Trump says he’ll step down in favor of Hillary Clinton, according to shockingly unreliable sources.

“They’re asking so nicely, he just can’t say no,” says one of our sources. “Really, he had no idea just how honored and beloved the Clinton crime family is among the smartest people in the world.”

In addition to being the caporegime of the nation’s best-loved crime syndicate, “Hillary is also the former president’s wife, and if he’d thought about that just a little harder, Mr. Trump would have stepped down as soon as he won the Republican nomination,” said a sadly inebriated source. “I mean, how could you be so mean as to deny the president’s wife her own chance to run the country?”

“He just can’t disappoint all those actors, celebrities, college professors and students, Black Lives Matter, and globalists,” said another source, currently living in a padded cell. “And he had no idea how passionately the American people–not counting all those deplorables who perversely voted for him, what were they thinking?–want open borders, higher taxes, world government, and anyone who doubts Climate Change to be investigated by the Attorney General. So he’ll step down and give them what they want.”

“And if that’s not enough,” added an even more unreliable source, “Mr. Trump is prepared to convert to Islam–just to please us!”

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