Now that he sees how upset liberals are over his election, President-elect Donald Trump says he’ll step down in favor of Hillary Clinton, according to shockingly unreliable sources.
“They’re asking so nicely, he just can’t say no,” says one of our sources. “Really, he had no idea just how honored and beloved the Clinton crime family is among the smartest people in the world.”
In addition to being the caporegime of the nation’s best-loved crime syndicate, “Hillary is also the former president’s wife, and if he’d thought about that just a little harder, Mr. Trump would have stepped down as soon as he won the Republican nomination,” said a sadly inebriated source. “I mean, how could you be so mean as to deny the president’s wife her own chance to run the country?”
“He just can’t disappoint all those actors, celebrities, college professors and students, Black Lives Matter, and globalists,” said another source, currently living in a padded cell. “And he had no idea how passionately the American people–not counting all those deplorables who perversely voted for him, what were they thinking?–want open borders, higher taxes, world government, and anyone who doubts Climate Change to be investigated by the Attorney General. So he’ll step down and give them what they want.”
“And if that’s not enough,” added an even more unreliable source, “Mr. Trump is prepared to convert to Islam–just to please us!”
In the wake of Donald Trump’s win over the Clinton crime family, collidge students throughout the land have pleaded with their professors to postpone the mid-term exams, the precious little pipsqueaks being much too emotionally traumatized to take exams; and more than just a few professors have been granting that request ( http://www.weeklystandard.com/schools-offer-counseling-professors-postpone-exams-after-trump-win/article/2005314 ). American University even provided students with a “vigil”–you know, like liberals have for multiple murderers who are about to get executed and oh, it’s so cruel and heartless! Gimme one of those candles…
Y’know, I think I’ve finally figured out what college is for, what role it plays in the life of America.
College is for storage.
Yup, that’s all it is–a really expensive and deceptive way to keep unemployable people off the streets and out of mischief, while giving the Left another four years–or more!–to turn the kiddies’ minds to mush. With an economy hamstrung by the government unable to generate jobs for everyone, we have millions of young people who need to be warehoused.
While keeping them out of the soup kitchens, college provides thousands and thousands of jobs for persons who would otherwise be completely useless. The lib/prog/Democrat dream of “universal free college” is already almost a tautology: virtually everybody who wants to go is already going. Of course, it ain’t “free.” It won’t be free until Dems are able to stick America’s defenseless working people with the tab.
But suddenly we’re not quite as defenseless as we used to be:
Because, by the mercy of God, the bad guys didn’t win this election and have lost their power to direct events.
Learn to love the sound of brainwashed college students howling in the night. It is the sound of victory.