Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!!

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Whell, jist in Time,, i joyned our collidge’s Pro Choyce Cacas! and thay has gived Us “alll” a liszt of New Yeer’s Rezzalutoins!! The Pro Choyce Cacas thay maded al Our “choyces” fore us,; how grate is that??? Al wee has to do Is “obay” themb!!!

And hear thay are!

We Rezolfe to whare only “the” Cloathes the Cacas says we “has” got to whare Evry Day!!

We Rezolfes to reed “The” Handmade’s Tail over and ovar agin and keap Reeding it so we know “it bye” hart!!

We rezolfes to get Inta Canfrontaycions whith christins and conserfatiffs Evry Day and keap Doingit “untill” thay Minds thay are rihght!!!

We rezolfes to go to Bed evry Nihght wen the Cacas say we shuld!

We rezolfe only “to” use themb brandnew Pro Nouns that the Cacas thay has jist maded Up,: like Gzee and Gzaa and Gzuu and Lunnabunna and a “lot of” Others,, i has not yett Bin Abel to memberyze themb alll, “thay are” for al the New Genders that has got “to be” Re-speckted!!! Al themb Old Pro Nouns thay “are” Trans Foabbick!!

Aslo we has got to say “the” F Bomb at leest Oncet in evry sentints becose this hear it Willl aleavvyate globbal Povverte and Sex Ism!! I all reddy started Doingit but that stopid lee he is “goingto” deeleet al my F Balms!! [Editor’s note: You got that right, Joe.]

And aslo tooo we Rezolfe to Hate all the hatters and biggits That are “arond” hear on the Campas and to Hate themb “until” thay jist Drop Dedd!!!!!

So thoze thay are all “The” Rezzalutoins that The Pro Choyce Cacas thay has choze for us!!

11 comments on “Our New Yeer’s rezzalutoins!!

  1. Joe does indeed belong among the “Cacas.” Well done, Lee.

    But wait … nothing about taking away people’s plastic straws?

  2. Hilarious – stupidity on parade. I have a book that’s titled “Rightside-Up Living in An Upside Down World” by David Gibson. He tells about Paul & Silas being accused of turning the world upside down – ha ha.

    1. “He tells about Paul & Silas being accused of turning the world upside down”

      It is pretty revolutionary when people do the right thing.

    2. Funny how evil sees good as evil and evil is good. Paul and Silas were turning the world right side up.

    3. Indeed so, Watchman.

      When we experience the frustration of life in this fallen world, it’s good to remember that things are not rightside up, the way God created them to be. We need this world to be in harmony with truth. It had to have been that way or God would not have pronounced His creation good.

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