The Birth of Civilization

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How did civilization start? Professors of Nothing Studies at Fimbo University think they know.

“Originally,” says department head Hugh Betcha, Ph. D., “all human beings were transgendered. That goes hand in glove with the highest levels of civilization, just as we see today. So it was that, 300 million years ago, the world’s first human civilization was populated entirely by the transgendered persons who had invented it.”

What is the evidence for this?

“Physical evidence has not survived,” says the professor, “but we can interpolate current socioeconomic trends and sort of ‘reverse-engineer’ our lost history. We also find non-physical evidence in the myths and legends of the Tasaday, the Stone Age tribe in the Philippines that has remained pure and untouched by the rest of the world for 50 million years.

“Finally, if you’re as smart as we are and you concentrate real, real hard, you will eventually intuit accurate visions of the great Transgender Age. All that ‘Male and Female’ stuff didn’t come along until much, much later–a mere 250 years ago! And it was invented by capitalists, so you know it’s bad.”

A bachelor’s degree in Nothing Studies from Fimbo University takes a mere 32 semesters to acquire, at an average cost of $30,000 per semester. “But don’t worry about the cost!” says Professor Betcha. “After all, you can always get a student loan!”

8 comments on “The Birth of Civilization

  1. What do you bet, Hugh Betcha has a picture of Margaret Mead on his office wall. The elites are all in the know that gender is a social construct, and the first evolved human was a male/female hybrid that then evolved into 56 different species of homo sapiens.

  2. Sociologists just love the Tasaday. I remember reading about them in National Geographic magazine, back in the early ‘80s. Their death rituals and sexual practices were enough to curl my hair. Pure and untouched also means that they were not in the receiving end of the wisdom imparted to the ancient Hebrews, which helped them to advance as a civilization and prosper. The greatest advancement in civilization has been being in receipt of the written word of God.

    1. Apparently “pure and untouched” omitted the nuance that the Tasaday lived less than five miles away from a 20th century village, easy walking distance with plenty of nice paths to and from both communities.

  3. And there will be blood on his ruler if you disagree or even think that you disagree. Satan lies by twisting the truth. Prof Hugh Betcha has apparently twisted his cap. The collective beliefs of the left lead them all to a door marked: Enter Here, which leads to an internal pit of insanity where they blindly find justification from each other. Such a bond!

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