Tired of having to earn your way to the top, and maybe never getting there?
DNA ‘R’ Us to the rescue!
We will guarantee to find an Oppressed Minority somewhere in your family tree, or your money back! Does everybody hate you ’cause you’re white? That all comes to a dead stop when you flash ’em the papers that prove you’re a Parthian or something.
Don’t be held back by racism! Be boosted by it!
Uh-oh, I think my cat Iggy just got his Oppressed Minority certificate from DNA ‘R’ Us, and now he’s demanding that I give him everything he wants and wait on him hand and foot … which doesn’t really change anything, come to think of it.
As for me, someone in my family once told me — or told me that someone told someone else — that we have a Himalayan aborigine somewhere in the family line. Does that count? (Oh, wait, they may have been referring to my previous cat CoCo, who was a full-blooded Himalayan. Well, that’s part of the family, too, isn’t it?)
My Gaulish descent demands reparations from the Romans. Cough it up, Italy!