Tag Archives: everything is racist

A Slippery, Groveling Worm

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“Oh, that’s somebody else on my yearbook page!”

You gotta hand it to Democrats. Especially to Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam, who has begun to rival Houdini as an escape artist.

Just last week, he tried to push through a late-term abortion law that would allow you to womens-health a baby as it’s being born. Well, the country didn’t like that–a very big stink was raised. Seems infanticide has not yet gained widespread public acceptance.

Suddenly that’s all gone. Nobody’s talking about it anymore.

Because on the heels of this public relations disaster came another: someone leaked a picture of Northam from his 1984 medical school yearbook showing him, in blackface, hanging out with someone in a Ku Klux Klan outfit. Uh-oh: looks like the governor might be a racist! Hey, whatever happened to “It wasn’t me” in that picture? Never mind!

Now he’s gotta get out from under that; so yesterday he appeared on “CBS This Morning” to grovel for the camera and confess, “I was born in white privilege.” ( https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/politics/northam-says-hes-learned-implications-of-white-privilege).  The rest of the sentence, unspoken, goes, “which incidentally is something all you poor patzers out there are going to be punished for and blamed for everything that’s ever gone wrong in this country.” He didn’t have to say it; it’s already been said by every liberal in America.

See, now he understands why it’s wrong for a white man to appear in blackface, he never know that before but now he gets it. More groveling. “I’m still learning,” he said. Sort of like one of those self-criticism orgies during Mao Tse-tung’s Great Cultural Revolution. And lo and behold! Now Democrats want to let bygones be bygones, forgive and forget–and just imagine what we’d be hearing if the baby-bushwhacker were a Republican. Think the nooze media would want to forgive a Republican?

By cracky, he’s gonna wiggle out of it! No resignation. No riots. We haven’t even heard of any new Play-Doh orders for Virginia’s colleges.

The Democrat Party in America is something that all decent people can be ashamed of.

‘Robot Reporters’?

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A New York Times article, “The Rise of the Robot Reporters,” says some of the big nooze agencies are now using robots to “write” routine news stories (https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/05/business/media/artificial-intelligence-journalism-robots.html), freeing the live reporters for “more substantive work,” heh-heh.

Wait a minute! Don’t we already have robot reporters that look like people? Sure we do! That’s how they all wind up saying the same thing every night: it’s their programming. “[Problem whatever] is Donald Trump’s fault!” “It’s racism!” “Also that other thing is racism!” “Government has the answers!” “Global Warming causes cold weather!” And on and on and on they go.

Bloomberg News, says the Times article, uses a computer that can swiftly “analyze a financial report and spit out an immediate news story.” Superfluous–they already have human reporters that can spit out news stories. No one cares whether they’re true, as long as they’re all saying the same thing. Other nooze outlets use the robots to spit out sports stories.

I used to rewrite local sports when I was a newspaperman. It was boring! We did it because those stories had value for our readers–like when your kid has a big day in soccer. You clip out the article and put it in your scrapbook. It was rote work to us, but rather special to the readers: so we did it.

And now I’ve got to get out of here and write a Newswithviews column!

‘Little Kiddies’ “Racism” Up 33% in Britain, Government Says’ (2016)

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“You dirty racist, you!”

Always bear in mind our recently-discovered principle: If liberals say something is a problem, it isn’t a problem. Like, for instance, rampant “racism” among Britain’s six and seven-year-old schoolchildren.


Of course, when you call everything “racism,” then you just naturally wind up with a lot of “racists.” And then, forsooth, the government must act! For which they’ll need more money and more power, so fork it over.

No one can go very far wrong by taking as a given the untruthfulness of anything said by a leftid.

‘”You’re Still a Racist”‘ (2016)

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Yeah, yeah, shaddapalready, we’ve heard it before–we’re all racists. That’s according to the United Church of Christ.


As a general rule of thumb, try this: Whatever liberals say is important is not important. Whatever they say is so, is not. So if they say all white people are racists, that means that in reality, very few white people are racists. If they say human activity is causing global temperatures to rise, that means it isn’t. You get the idea.

Once you realize that they’re lying all the time, it’s easy to laugh them off.

Captain Kirk vs. PC Mind Police

As probably anyone might have predicted, the #MeToo Movement has gotten out of hand and become a parody of itself.

Just now, they’re busy doing Social Justice by getting Baby, It’s Cold Outside banned from the airwaves. So radio stations have been banning it, then re-instating it after normal people complain about the ban.

Up in Canada the fight for sanity is being led by 87-year-old and still-rockin’ William Shatner, famous for his role as Captain Kirk in Star Trek (and for a lot of other work, too). Shatner tweeted, “Call in to CBC [Canadian Broadcasting] radio all day and get them to play Baby, It’s Cold Outside until midnight.” He called the leftid twerps who want to ban the song a “Myopia Censorship Club” full of “2018 prudes.”

Yes, Bill–it’s this bizarre worldview in which the hookup culture shacks up with extreme prudery. How long they can maintain that incredible structure is anybody’s guess.

But see, if it wasn’t “#MeToo,” it’d just be something else. Like, every white person is a Racist. Every man is a sexual harasser. After a while, we don’t care anymore. The whole thing is about entitled schmendricks on the Left wanting to pick on everybody and lord it over them. So we all have to be guilty, which then gives them the right to bully us. They need us to be guilty.

A vote of thanks to William Shatner! He hasn’t backed down, and he’s inspired other normal persons to call in to radio stations and get the ban reversed.

Now, ordinarily I would never post on this blog a song like Baby, It’s Cold Outside. Really, it’s not my kind of thing and it has nothing to do with Christmas. If anything, it’s a sort of “winter festival” song, which means the lefties should love it. Anyway, I am making an exception now only because the tin-pot tyrants on the left forbid it. Take it away, Dean Martin!

A Portland Tragicomedy

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Portland, Oregon, sounds like a great place to avoid.

Recently two employees were fired by the Back to Eden vegan bakery for turning away a black woman who wanted to buy something after the shop was closed and the “Open” sign turned off (https://www.wnd.com/2018/07/employees-fired-for-denying-black-woman-service-after-closing/).

What part of “We’re closed” didn’t she understand?

Well, of course, when you’re a Cherished Minority–not to mention a “professional equity activist” and “equity director” for the Oregon Dept. of Education, a government agency with money to piss into the wind–you don’t have to take “We’re closed.” Indeed, the slightest little disappointment, for you, constitutes “a disturbing and heart-wrenching experience.” How dare anybody not give you what you want?

So she went on the social media and got a “clamoring public” to demand that the two employees be fired for not digging the “racial implications” of their failure to re-open the shop because this professional complainer demanded it.

How did civilization manage to get along for thousands and thousands of years without professional equity activists? What, if any, function does such a creature serve? What would happen to life as we know it if all of a sudden we had to do without professional equity activists?

I really am running out of patience for stuff like this. I can’t imagine why our country continues to tolerate it.

They’re Anti-Science!

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I was hoping I’d never have to say this, but I can’t keep it a secret any longer.

My two cats are Anti-Science. Both of them. I think a squirrel outside, when they were sitting in an open window, tricked them into being Anti-Science, but I can’t prove it, even though I know that particular squirrel is a Racist and a Biggit and a Hater.

What am I to do? My veterinarian doesn’t offer Sensitivity Training For Cats.

How do I know they’re Anti-Science? I hear you ask. Yeah, well, okay, I don’t exactly hear you. You’re probably Anti-Science, too. Anyway, I know they’re Anti-Science because they didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton for president. Every living thing that didn’t vote for her is Anti-Science. And must be punished!

These cats pay absolutely no attention to The Scientific Search for the Transgender Gene, or Scientific Proof That It Rained on the Rocks and the Rocks Came Alive, or Teaching 13-Year-Old Kids to Abstain from Sex Will Make Them Pregganint, or Climbit Change It Is Caused by Religion And It Will Kill Us All Unless We Give the Government Lots of New Powers And All Our Money. You can’t get them up for any Science at all.

Where in the Constitution does it allow you to be Anti-Science?

You Can’t Wear a Chinese Dress?

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(Thanks to “Unknowable” for the news tip)

With so much serious bad stuff going on–like, for instance, the Supreme Court getting ready to decide that “gays” and government can pre-emptively determine the content of works of art–you might wonder why we bother with a story like this.

A Utah high school girl is at the center of a Twitter typhoon because she wore a Chinese-style dress to her senior prom… and she’s not Chinese (http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2018/05/01/shaming-teen-for-wearing-racist-dress-to-prom-is-crazy-where-does-nonsense-cultural-appropriation-end.html). That makes her guilty of the crime of “cultural appropriation.” Tens of thousands of tweets have been generated, condemning her as a [trumpet fanfare]… Racist.

The same schmendricks who rip her for that will call you a Racist if you say you don’t like Chinese or Mexican food. Really, you can’t win.

This trivial incident shows us that leftid race obsession and overall damn foolishness has trickled down to the very foundations of our culture. Everything any normal person does offends them. This has gone beyond mere politics, crossing the line into the wonderful world of mental illness.

These lost souls on the Left hate everything. You name it, it makes them angry. We wouldn’t care, except that they own our colleges and universities, our nooze media, Hollywood, and the Democrat Party. They are well able to annoy us, and worse.

Could we, like, please, stop listening to them? Stop apologizing to them. Stop groveling. Stop trying to answer them: they don’t deserve an answer. Just ignore them, as if they literally weren’t there.

Stop giving them the power to screw up our world.


Doun Whith captallist Vilince!!!

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I amb has a hardd “time” Writing this becose “that” stopid cat Robby she is lee the Fashists cat she keeps “on” bumpping my Hand!! i know he put her up “to” It! but i wil rite this annyhow!!

I jist heered abote this Grate lexture by a Prefesser she sayed we “has got” to Under Stand Rachel Captillism and the Open Seecrit of Rachel Captillist Vilince!! Wel we Are Introllecturals so of coarse we all-ready knows evvry Thing it is Racist! The reely Grate thing This hear prefesser she sayed is Indervidural Rites thay Fuuel Captillist Vilince expeshally “”Free Speach” and “Proptery Rites!!” yiu go girl!!!! (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10817)

Dam that cat she maid me Spel a wird wrong!!! wye dont she stop doing That???

Aslo she sayed thare shuld be no Pollice—no it wassnt the dum cat who sayed That! Wear was I? Oh yeh and aslo Socilism It “works” reely good becose Then Evvry Boddy thay is All Equil!!

So wee shuld auhght to Get “rid of”” al them Socalld Rites, only Us Interllecutrals we Are Smart Enuhgh to has “them” rites ordrinary dum peple thay Are Tooo Dum to has rites!!! Thay wil jist Whind Up “saying” hat speach and Racist stuph!!! Unlest yiu Are a Intrelecktural yiu “Mite As” wel be jist a Baby that Is “wye” we got to do All yore “Thinking” four yiu!!! and yiu stopid dum peeple yiu dont evvin apreceate It!!!

Wye dont This cat jist gett out “Of” hear??? She maid me make a airer!!

Owch she bited My moth Antenners!!! Yow! now she—

[The editors regret that Joe Collidge is unable to continue his essay.]

Entertainment Colossus Goes Belly-Up

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Dumpsterfire Inc., the multinational entertainment giant, has filed for bankruptcy.

We can’t help thinking the decline and fall was due to some really bad decisions as to which new products ought to be pushed. Among the biggest money-losers were these.

Whispering Wally, a TV series about a big-city police detective afflicted with a terrible stammer which he conceals by whispering. The fact that the dialogue was virtually inaudible doomed the show to failure.

Lesbian Cookies. Don’t even ask, because you don’t really want to know.

The Cockroach Kids, a computer-generated animated feature film, with aspirations to morph into a series of children’s picture books, was unable to deliver on its much-ballyhooed promise of “multiculturalism for tots.” One movie reviewer confessed that he had to run out to the lobby every time the Cockroach Kids chowed down on spoiled cat food.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Morality was a reality TV show aimed at “out-Springering Jerry Springer” in celebrating genuinely depraved people–many of whom were arrested on their way out of the studio.

Spot the Racist! Intended as a role-playing game for use in middle school classrooms, it never seemed to do anything but start fights and then lawsuits.

Milo Musch, CEO of Dumpsterfire, is still perplexed by his company’s nosedive.

“All the cultural trends were with us–we couldn’t miss!” he laments. “I guess it just goes to show you that there are still too many normal people running around loose. And I expect we’ll go down in history as being at least five years ahead of our time.”

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