Category Archives: news

Today’s Brand-New Scam

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So I got an email this morning from some person or persons unknown stating that on such-and-such a date, I visited such-and-such a pornographic website–and unless I pay them off in Bitcoin–uh-huh: like I have any Bitcoin, or know what it is, or care–they’ll tell all my friends and everybody else who knows me. They also claimed I used such-and-such a password, but the password they cited belongs to no one I know of.

What we have here is a criminal offense: attempted blackmail. We are advised to delete the message and run a virus scan, which we have done.

There are a jillion porn sites on the Internet and it’s not hard to stumble onto one of them while looking for something else. All it takes, sometimes, is the smallest of typos. So the blackmailers are on pretty firm ground there: just about everyone has visited a porn site, if you count accidents as visits.

Now, why didn’t we call the police? Only because I doubt the cops could catch these vermin. If they could be caught, they’d have been caught already.

If you receive one of these messages, don’t be afraid. Just delete it and run a virus scan. It would probably be most unwise to reply to the message in any way. So please don’t do that!

‘Oh, Boy! Earn a Degree in Social Justice’ (2016)

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Attention, college students! If it’s a little too much for you, trying to make sense of Feminist Geography, mosey on over to Eastern Kentucky University and try for a degree in Social Justice.

We, the higher education experts of America, won’t stop until every drooling idiot in the Western Hemisphere has a bachelor’s degree in something! No matter how ridiculous, no matter how useless, no matter how non-productive.

‘Cause it sure ain’t non-productive for us, you schnooks!

‘Oops… Your Phone Blew Up’ (2016)

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Three guesses as to what happened to this poor guy…

Don’t you hate it when your phone explodes–especially if it does that while you’re using it?

A couple years ago Samsung had a bit of a difficulty on the exploding phone front. Give them credit for not trying to pretend there was nothing wrong.

We had exploding hoverboards, too.

Somehow our ancestors did not have to worry about exploding butter churns, milking stools, wagons, or those funny old telephones with dials on them. Nothing in our house ever blew up, when I was a boy.

But never mind the technology. Our culture is in much worse shape than our phones.

An Instant Solution to Illegal Immigration Problem! (Speaking of Scams…)

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A spokesperson for the newly formed Moderate Senators for Moderate Things Caucus has revealed the Senate group’s plan for an instantaneous solution to America’s problem with illegal immigration.

Known only as “Spokesperson,” the spokesperson explained how the senators’ plan would solve the problem “overnight.”

“The president wants a border wall–right?” he (or she) said. “Well, we’ll give him one! All he’s got to do in return is promise, as soon as he gets it, to sign a bill granting full and immediate amnesty to all the undocumented migrants who are here. Presto! They’re now here legally! No more illegals!”

Spokesperson declined to identify the senators who have joined the Moderate Senators for Moderate Things Caucus, who have taken to wearing paper bags over their heads. “They don’t want the voters in their home states to overreact,” she (or he) (or xe) explained. “They understand that their constituents just aren’t smart enough to appreciate how great this will be for our country. Give them  forty or fifty years and they’ll come around.”

“For one thing,” he added, “the cost of labor will plummet, with all these former illegals added to the workforce. Our donors love that! And American workers will love it, too, once they adjust to being unemployed.

“Heck, we’re only talking about giving amnesty to, oh, ten to twenty million people. And whatever free stuff they’ll need from the government for a generation or two.

“Honest, this plan just can’t miss!”

Meanwhile, said Spokesperson, the border wall, if built, would keep another ten or twenty million from coming in and getting amnesty.

“Sure, we’ll fund the wall, just as soon as the amnesty has gone into effect. You have our word on it! We’re sure the president knows he can trust us! And America can trust us, too!”

President Donald Trump’s response has been censored by the nooze and social media.

Incredibly Wise Sages: ‘Traditional Masculinity’ is Bad!

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As the birth rate plummets in one civilized country after another–could there possibly be something wrong with our civilization nowadays? ya think?–the American Psychiatric Assn. has blasted “traditional masculinity” (

I wonder where they found any.

According to the shrinks, traditional masculinity leads to–oh, the pain!–sexual harassment and… “homophobia.” Nooooo! Not homophobia!

But what is “traditional masculinity”? The APA listed the prominent features of traditional masculinity: “anti-femininity” (do you know what that is? I don’t), “achievement–”

Whoa! Whoa! Hold it right there! Achievement is bad? Really? There are psychiatrists telling people this? Like, no wonder you’re crazy, you keep trying to achieve something? Why aren’t you just lying on the couch playing video games?

They round out their description of “traditional masculinity” with “eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure” (why is adventure bad?), “risk” (that’s bad, too), and “violence.” So all you cavemen out there who’ve been sayin’ violence is good, put a sock in it.

Why am I not surprised that birth rates are plummeting?

So far in history, no species has ever been talked into extinction.

We’ll probably be the first.


My Newswithviews Column, Jan. 10 ( ‘A Seer Foretells America’s Future’)

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It’s scary enough just listening to Democrats talk about what they want to do. But what if they actually did it?

“Boy, that’s kind of dark!” my wife said about this column.

But any Democrat can darken any room just by walking into it.

Patriarch: Antichrist Will Control Us through Our Gadgets

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Humanity is in danger of “falling into slavery” to smartphones, the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church told The Moscow Times (

Laugh him off if you want, but Patriarch Kiril makes sense. The biggest threat, he explained, is that the collection of vast amounts of user data will lead to “control” from one central point.

They’re already keeping track of what we look at on the Internet. You’re curious about what your next-door neighbor paid for her hot tub, so you look it up–and next thing you know, everywhere you go, an ad for hot tubs waits for you.

What if some authoritarian agency–as long as we’re talking about Antichrist, let’s call it a global government–could know everything you read or view or email or post on any blog? They’d be making a list and checking it twice, so they can find out who’s naughty or nice… and deal with them accordingly.

We don’t want a global government. And we don’t like that whole data collection business. Put ’em together and you’ve got trouble.

New York Mayor ‘Guarantees’ Health Care for All

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New York City Mayor and former Sandinista wannabe Bill De Blasio (not his real name; he doesn’t use his real name) has announced that the city will “guarantee comprehensive health care for all” (

Yessir, everybody will get health care “regardless of someone’s ability to pay or immigration status,” including some 300,000 “undocumented New Yorkers.” Like, you’re not here legally, and not a citizen, but you’re still a “New Yorker”? The new scheme is supposed to cover 500,000 people–in other words, most of those covered will be illegal aliens.

There are no immediate plans to erect a 100-foot-tall neon billboard saying “Come on down and get free stuff!”

I know this is starting to sound like satire, but stay with me–it’s not.

De Blasio (nee Warren Wilhelm Jr.) said the program will cost $100 million, but, he promised, there will be “no tax hikes to fund it.” Especially after word gets out that NYC is the place to be for free comprehensive health care.

This is being done, babbled De Blasio, because “health is a right.” Uh-huh. And “rights” are handed down and protected by, of course, the government! Therefore the government must see to it that everyone is healthy. And if that makes it grow more powerful, more intrusive, and more oppressively costly–well, hey, that’s just the price of paradise.

If you’re still living and/or working in New York City, you might want to start thinking about going somewhere else.

Actor Thanks Satan (And You Watched This Because _______?)

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Did somebody leave the door unlocked?

Foreign actor Christian Bale, at the Golden Globe “awards” show the other night, said thanks to Satan “for giving me inspiration on how to play this role” ( Bale, not an American, played Vice President Dick Cheney in a two-hour-plus conservative-bash called “Vice.”

The masks keep falling off. Well, we’ve always known from whom the Far Left Crazy gets its inspiration. They used to hide it, but they don’t bother anymore.

How many nitwits watched that movie? How many millions of other nitwits have forgotten Cheney was vice president–if they ever knew it in the first place?

Let’s see… Pro-aborts chant “Hail, Satan!” Miley Cyrus urges people to worship Satan. And now this. Is there still any doubt as to where these people are coming from?

Back in the Seventies there was a horror film, The Sentinel, whose climax featured a whole mob of freaks and monsters pouring into the world through the unguarded gates of Hell. Somehow, watching and listening to Democrats in 2019 reminds me of that scene.

Enjoy it while you’ve got it, suckers.

Students Raise Over $400,000 to Translate Bible into Sign Languages

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(Thanks to Susan for the news tip)

Most of the nooze lately is Democrat douchebags making Congress look like a halfway house for the halfway gone. Here’s a story that most of us didn’t hear this weekend.

Over 40,000 students, attending the “Passion 2019” Conference in Dallas, Atlanta, and Washington, D.C., raised almost $450,000 to translate the Bible into unique sign languages ( The translations will be done by local experts in Africa, Asia, and other areas where deaf people have not yet had access to the Bible.

Look at it this way: that’s 40,000 young people who have not bent the knee to Baal. And that’s just the ones who knew about the conference and were able to attend it.

We are not alone.

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