I’m not one to bury my mistakes, so here’s a prediction I made, four years ago, that simply didn’t come true.
It never occurred to me back then that they’d nominate Joe Biden, a producer of fiction, when they could choose an actual fictional character like Norman Bates. A homicidal maniac, crazy as a bedbug, seemed to be exactly where they were headed.
But I can’t help wondering how Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho would have turned out with Biden hidin’ in the Bates Motel…
Hi! I’m Norman Bates. You probably remember me from Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho–you know, dressing up as my mother and going around stabbing people.
Well, I’ve got that out of my system, what with being in the booby hatch since 1960. I’m out now, I’m all better now, and I’m here to tell you that I will be the Democrat Party’s candidate for president in 2020.
America needs a new kind of criminal for a new kind of presidency. I did have to promise the doctors that I wouldn’t dress up as Mom anymore, but once I’m elected and inaugurated, I can pretty much do as I please. Remember that old Clinton slogan, “You get two for the price of one?” Well, Mom and I are going to take that to a whole new level! I think I’ll trot her out for our first State of the Union Speech.
America needs a president who’s not afraid to dress up in women’s clothing and take a knife to his political opponents. It’s probably the only way we can get our Climate Change legislation through the Congress. And they sure will think twice about not confirming my judicial appointments, once Mom’s done with two or three of them!
Like the folks from the DNC told me when they went to pick me up at the hospital, the Democrat Party needs a new look, a new direction, and new blood–and I’m it!
I especially like that “new blood” part. I like that very much!
Sorry, but I really couldn’t resist this!
Who says cats can’t understand what they see on television? Here is a cat watching Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho–that climactic scene in which harmless old Mrs. Bates, sitting in the cellar in her rocking chair, is discovered to be a… ugh! a mummy!
Thanks to Tami for emailing me this priceless cat video.