Ever since they started letting violent criminals out of jail, or refusing to send them there in the first place, the murder rate in our great Blue cities has been going through the roof. People are getting alarmed about it.
Well, Senator Bobby Stunata (D-Wonderland) knows how to fix it.
“Tomorrow I will introduce a bill to ban possession of any object that could possibly be used as a murder weapon!” he said. “You’d be surprised at some of the things people get killed with. Can openers, forks, underpants, thick books, fishing-line, sponges–you name it, somebody’s been murdered with it.
“My bill will set up a multi-billion-dollar commission to study murder and track each and every murder weapon. Once an object appears on the list, we’ll ban it!”
What about murders committed with bare hands?
“It all goes on the list,” Sen. Stunata said, “bare hands, feet, and teeth included! What I propose to do is to make it physically impossible to commit a murder!”
Members of Congress and their staffs will be exempted, he added.
