Tag: socialism really works

REPRINT ‘Democratic Republic’ Bridge Collapses… During Ribbon-Cutting

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

From September 9, 2022

You do know, I hope, that “democratic republic” is a euphemism for an authoritarian socialist regime. Like “people’s republic” means “communist.”

And you’ve surely heard the mantra, “Socialism really works if you only give it a chance!”

The Democratic Republic of Congo built a foot bridge over a stream recently, and regime officials gathered there for the ribbon-cutting ceremony (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/07/drc-officials-bridge-collapses-ceremony).

The bridge collapsed in the middle of the ceremony, as government officials scramble to escape a ducking while “spectators shout in apparent glee.”

This bridge ought to be adopted as a symbol of socialism. It says it all. Imagine the spectators’ joy when they thought the tyrants would be drowned, right before their eyes. Okay, it was hardly the Golden Gate or the Tappan Zee Bridge–but that’s the point. Socialism can’t even give you a footbridge that’ll last a week before collapsing.

I wonder if DR Congo will put this image on a postage stamp.

Doun Whith captallist Vilince!!! REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of crazy professor

From April27, 2018

I amb has a hardd “time” Writing this becose “that” stopid cat Robby she is lee the Fashists cat she keeps “on” bumpping my Hand!! i know he put her up “to” It! but i wil rite this annyhow!!

I jist heered abote this Grate lexture by a Prefesser she sayed we “has got” to Under Stand Rachel Captillism and the Open Seecrit of Rachel Captillist Vilince!! Wel we Are Introllecturals so of coarse we all-ready knows evvry Thing it is Racist! The reely Grate thing This hear prefesser she sayed is Indervidural Rites thay Fuuel Captillist Vilince expeshally “”Free Speach” and “Proptery Rites!!” yiu go girl!!!! (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=10817)

Dam that cat she maid me Spel a wird wrong!!! wye dont she stop doing That???

Aslo she sayed thare shuld be no Pollice—no it wassnt the dum cat who sayed That! Wear was I? Oh yeh and aslo Socilism It “works” reely good becose Then Evvry Boddy thay is All Equil!!

So wee shuld auhght to Get “rid of”” al them Socalld Rites, only Us Interllecutrals we Are Smart Enuhgh to has “them” rites ordrinary dum peple thay Are Tooo Dum to has rites!!! Thay wil jist Whind Up “saying” hat speach and Racist stuph!!! Unlest yiu Are a Intrelecktural yiu “Mite As” wel be jist a Baby that Is “wye” we got to do All yore “Thinking” four yiu!!! and yiu stopid dum peeple yiu dont evvin apreceate It!!!

Wye dont This cat jist gett out “Of” hear??? She maid me make a airer!!

Owch she bited My moth Antenners!!! Yow! now she—

[The editors regret that Joe Collidge is unable to continue his essay.]

Steer Clear of False False Facts!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Quokka on Rottnest Island - Journey Beyond

As a sort of official spokesquokka for Acme False Facts Inc., I was distressed to learn that another false facts firm is playing dirty tricks to try to grab a piece of our market. Dreadful! Not even these bicycles can cheer me up.

I’m Byron the Quokka, and I’m here to remind you that only Acme False Facts are guaranteed 100% false! So don’t buy from that other company, whose name I only mention to help you shun their product: True False Facts Ltd. Their president is no better than a vampire.

Surely the discriminating consumer of false facts can tell the difference between our product and theirs. Example:

Ours: The last talking dog in Kazakhstan got in trouble for talking to strangers.

Theirs: Socialism really works if you give it a chance.

Acme False Facts do more than educate, more than entertain! They cure itching, for one thing. Can those other guys say that?

If you want respect, and really cool peer group approval, Acme False Facts is king! All the others are just usurpers.

Yeah, They’re Crazy

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I think if I were offered Tucker Carlson’s job, I’d be convinced I was having a bad dream. Or maybe a nervous breakdown.

In this outing, Tucker interviews a smirking paramecium named Dakotah Something, who thinks socialism really, really works and America should try to be like Venezuela. ‘Cause all the probs down there, he says between smirks, are caused by bad people trying to ruin the government’s plans to create a workers’ paradise. Damn, it’s a tough row to hoe, for those “dedicated Chavistas.”

Workers, eh? Socialism is full of airheads who never did a day’s work in their lives. What would they know about work?

Watch this kid’s face and listen to his words. This is a product of our education system. This is what we’re getting for our money.

This is our national folly come to life.

And what we’re supposed to do with the hundreds of thousands like him that our colleges are turning out, beats me.