‘Your Halloween Hot Line’ (2015)

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You know your town or college or mental hospital is under-funded if they don’t have a Halloween hotline. I mean, who you gonna call to find out whether your costume is [drum roll, please] offensive?

Your Halloween Hot Line

Your first mistake would be to try to appease the libs whom your costume has offended. It’s impossible. Like when you get rid of real racism, “systemic racism” kicks in. Having nothing to be offended about would offend them intensely. If you stood a large cardboard box on end and told them there was a person inside it, and this was his Halloween costume, they’d be offended by that.

So does your town have a Halloween hot line? Find out.


Your Halloween Hot Line

Please check with college officials to see if your Wal-Mart shopper costume is offensive.

Your tuition dollars at work! America’s colleges and universities are ramping it up to make sure no one has any fun on Halloween.

The State University of New York at Genessee will have five “college officials” manning–oops, that should be personing–a hot line that students can call to find out whether their Halloween costumes are offensive. ( http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/24847/ )

Does your school have a Halloween hot line? How about your town? Who you gonna call to ascertain whether your costume is offensive or not?

“Do you think anyone would get offended if I went to the party as Hitler?”

“I’ve got this really ugly Obama mask, and this arrow thing that goes over your head so it looks like you got shot through your skull, and I was wondering if that’d be all right.”

Here’s a little secret, folks.

Your very existence offends liberals.

They can’t not be offended. They wouldn’t know what to do with themselves. They want to be gods, and they think that’s how you be a god–spend every waking moment pissed off at those lousy mortals who don’t appreciate you. With the real God there is grace and majesty, because He truly is God. With college big shots there is only comedy.

Anyhow, Halloween is tomorrow; and if your school or your town has an offensive costume hot line, you and your friends ought to call them repeatedly and ask them every inane question you can think of.

They won’t even know you’re goofing on them.