Norbert Conquers the Wrapping Paper

Not to go overboard with Norbert; but a great big killer bird tells me a lot of us need cheering up, and I know I do, so here it is–Norbert’s showdown, Norbert’s steel cage match, Norbert’s mano-a-mano with leftover wrapping paper. Three pounds of fuzzy fury. Konjadinga!

Norbert’s Home Movies

Well, I think they’re Norbert’s home movies. I’m not sure I understand what’s going on here. But it’s Norbert, and how wrong can you be if you post a Norbert video?

It will be noticed that he sometimes barks at his dog food. It’s important to keep your food from getting ideas of its own.

Norbert’s War with the Sheets

A pox on all those fake “conservatives” who turn into surrender monkeys the moment the going gets rough. Fap! to them all.

I need a dose of Norbert. Maybe you do, too. So here he is grappling with recalcitrant sheets in what Violet Crepuscular would surely call “a subcutaneous moment.”

Norbert vs. Velociraptor!

Sorry, folks, the raptor never showed up. But Norbert’s here; and if he can’t make you smile, you’re probably a statue.

With all the moves he’s got, I can’t help wondering: can Norbert walk backwards? I’m sure I’ve never seen a dog do that.

Emergency Norbert (with Prayer)

Some of us have not been feeling well lately (I name no names, because I haven’t been asked to, yet). Well, a minute or two with Norbert the therapy dog won’t hurt

Please join me in prayer for those of our number who need it now. O Lord our God, please bless our little circle of friends, especially those of us who need healing right now. This past week has been inordinately stressful for us all. We pray for Jesus’ healing touch, in Jesus’ name: Amen.

We’ve Hired a Professor!

Taking Selfies With The Happy Quokka Has Been Banned In Australia | Happy  animals, Cute animals, Quokka

G’day from Quokka University! Byron here: and, as chairquokka of our Political Science Dept., I wish to announce the hiring of an associate professor! Hired by me, in fact. Trumpets, please! May I introduce our first associate professor of political science…here he is…

NORBERT

Norbert the therapy dog!

I hired him because you can hardly believe how sharply he can change direction, even while running at full speed. This is an invaluable skill in politics! Human politicians take pride in their ability to zig-zag, but Norbert puts them all to shame.

I have assigned him to teach Sharp Turns 101 and Being For It, Then Against It 202.

Did I mention he works cheap? Well, he only weighs three pounds, it’s not like you have to feed him a lot. No need to raise the tuition just to feed Professor Norbert.

As for the burning question, “What is the tuition?”, well, don’t look at me, I’m the Poli Sci Dept.! See if you can find the registrar, Aunt Feezy the Quokka, and ask her. I think I saw her going into the mangrove swamp.

Norbert’s Killer Instinct

I feared this. Norbert, the little therapy dog who’s become a Youtube star, is a killer at heart. Watch with unbridled dismay what he does to that sock. Honestly–would you ever treat a sock like that? But then Norbert is but a small step removed from the wild wolves of Scandinavia. Or somewhere. I’ll bet he’s descended from one of those great big savage dogs the Mongols used to have guarding their camps. A camp guarded by two or three Norberts would be impregnable.

How to Draw Norbert

Yes, I know, we did Norbert yesterday–but I couldn’t resist this. As an added benefit, now I know how to draw Norbert. That will come in handy if I ever have to describe him but find myself unable to do it verbally.

Norbert and the Seven Samurai

Oops–did I say seven samurai? It appears I was wrong about that.

But otherwise you can’t go wrong with Norbert, now an international Youtube star. As you’ll see, they’ve even got a Norbert stuffed toy (I think they’ve sold them all). This collection of Norbert vignettes features my favorite “Norbert shuffle”–little dog somehow propelling himself sideways across the kitchen floor.

Hairy White ‘Flash’ Caught on Camera!

Good evening. I am still trying to make my headlines more alluring to readers. I am also trying to talk like Alfred Hitchcock.

Ah, well, I couldn’t resist this Norbert video. One of his humans came back from the store or something, and he’s excited about it. Joie de vivre!