Oh, The Things I Should (?) Have Done!

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I read this book while I was still in grade school–Master of Life and Death by Robert Silverberg. Its theme was a harsh government response to “overpopulation.”

Now I’m reading Hell’s Cartographers, autobiographical sketches by prominent science fiction writers who had long careers; and the first essay is by Robert Silverberg.

Fascinating! And it’s a paradox. Silverberg attained financial success as a writer when he was still very young, and yet he was haunted by a conviction that all he’d done was to become a hack who cranked out reams and reams of bilge. And he tells you how he did it! Gee, I never even though of doing most of the things he did to grow his career. And I haven’t yet read how he resolved his inner conflict. All I see is that you can become a big success without doing anything worthwhile.

I suspect that one of the lessons I’ll learn from this book is that each and every published writer must follow his own path to “getting there.” My own path has been long and convoluted: didn’t get a novel published until 1986. If only I’d thought of schmoozing with other individuals in the publishing industry!

But would my own work have been the better or the worse for it?

Once upon a time I wrote a perfectly serviceable thriller that a major magazine would have bought and published–if, and only if, I rewrote it to plug in some sleazy sex scenes. I agonized over this for quite a while; but my wife warned me that if I did it, it would surely come back to haunt me. And how could I ever present such work to my Aunt Betty, the nun, or Uncle Bernie, a Methodist minister? So I didn’t make the changes, and that was that.

Hell’s Cartographers, I think, will be quite an adventure for me.

Memory Lane: ‘Master of Life and Death’

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Ah, those were the days! “Two Complete Novels 35 cents”–remember those, the Ace Double Novels?

One of them that I do remember is Master of Life and Death by Robert Silverberg, a 1957 Ace Double Novel that was teamed up with The Secret Visitors by James White, which I don’t remember at all. I find it hard to believe I read this when I was only eight years old, but I don’t think I could have read it any later than 1959.

In this tale, Silverberg imagined a world overpopulation crisis in the year 2232–7 billion people on the planet (which we have already, in 2019, without a crisis) and the United Nations world government has to take really serious action! Otherwise we’re all gonna die, etc. Where have we heard that before? So they set up a Bureau of Population Equalization, complete with euthanasia and forcibly relocating people to less densely-populated areas, etc., and the protagonist becomes head of “Popeek,” as the Bureau is affectionately known, and inherits one helluva mess. Including a crisis on Venus, an embassy from another planet in another solar system, and an awful lot of angry people who want a piece of him.

What I remember most is being appalled, even at such an early age, by the whole idea of any government having this much power. Almost every science fiction novel I’ve ever read presupposes a world government, like it’s carved in stone, totally inevitable, better learn to like it. Now I wonder why. What is it about science fiction that gravitates to world government?

I used to read science fiction for fun, but now, looking back on it, I see it was filled with a lot of ideas that were either creepy, somewhat less than intelligent, or downright preposterous–or some combination of the above.

The Ace Double Novels are history, but we still have plenty of science fiction movies that are every bit as fat-headed as Ace’s very worst efforts.

Coming Soon (Maybe): The Human Jellyfish?

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Hi! I’m your pet jellyfish, and you can call me Farfel!

You think it’s easy, writing headlines? Imagine having to write a headline for this.

“In 2016, a Japanese scientist reported that three months after the death of his pet jellyfish, a sea anemone-like polyp rose out of the degraded body, and then astonishly aged backwards, reverting to a younger state” (https://sg.news.yahoo.com/harvard-university-uncovers-dna-switch-180000109.html).

We’d love to check this story, but there are so many unanswered questions. What was this scientist’s name? Where did he report his findings? How does anybody wind up with a pet jellyfish? I mean, I’m sure they’re nice and all that, but I never heard of anyone keeping a jellyfish for a pet. What would you name it? Oh–and what was this guy doing, hanging on to the “degraded body” of a jellyfish for three months?

But wait, there’s more!

Scientists at Harvard have discovered a “DNA switch that controls genes for whole-body regeneration,” suggesting it might someday lead to people being able to re-grow lost arms or legs. Uh-uh. They have discovered this gene in worms. Worms are great at growing stuff back. It can also be found in human beings, but we’re not so great at growing stuff back. Not so much as a finger.

Even so, regeneration is the great humanist hope of immortality–that, or loading your mind into a robot. Once they work out the details, George Soros and Nancy Pelosi can stick around and screw up our country for another 700 years. No corrupt rich person will ever have to die!

I think Robert Silverberg wrote a science fiction novel about that, back in the 1950s, but I’m running too late to look it up.