Hi, Mr. Nature here!
My neighbor’s son is home from college on Winter Solstice/Kwanzaaa Break; and because it has snowed this morning, the poor guy is hiding down the cellar, behind the oil burner.
“He doesn’t want the snow wraiths to get him,” the father explained. “What the heck are snow wraiths, anyway? You’re Mr. Nature, you tell me.”
Well, I’ll try.
See that picture up there, with the spooky faces in it? Those are snow wraiths–evil spirits that come out when it snows. Sometimes they take human form, sometimes they don’t: but always they are on the lookout for someone’s essential life force to consume. They suck it right out like an Electrolux.
“He’s afraid the snow wraiths are gonna get him because he’s not inclusive or diverse enough,” my neighbor says.
It would not comfort him if I told him that, according to tradition, snow wraiths are especially attracted to out-and-out idiocy. But then I don’t believe in snow wraiths, and I don’t know anyone else who believes in them, either–except for a few individuals who learned about snow wraiths in college and haven’t outgrown it yet.
As for the spooky faces in the sky–well, I’ve never seen ’em. Have you?