Tag Archives: vast right-wing conspiracy

Flash! Centaur Sighting

Proof that Man-Made Anthropogenic Oh-Boy Climate Change is real, real, real:

Half a dozen people in a certain town–which must not be identified for fear that Biggits and Haters will show up there–and come to think of it, those people must not be identified, either–well, anyhow, just last night, they saw a centaur dash right across the main street of their town.

The source of this news report must not be identified in case the Climate Change Deniers should hassle them.

A prominent Scientist, identity withheld to protect him from a Vast Right-wing Conspiracy, said “Because centaurs are caused by Climate Change, Income Inequality, and Microaggression, and the problem can only be solved by giving absolute power to government agencies staffed by unelected bureaucrats, you’re going to see a lot more centaurs before the whole planet suddenly boils over just because you ignorant anti-Science ijjits out there were too cheap to pay a whopping great Carbon Tax.”

It is reported that the centaur ran right across the street in full few of half a dozen patrons coming out of a tavern at closing time, turned and made a rude noise at them, and then disappeared into an alley.

“It’ll be the Loch Ness Monster next,” remarked the unidentified Scientist. “Mark my words.”


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