G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here; and that’s me, talking on a cellphone. Most of us quokkas don’t have cellphones. There’s always a human around to let us use his.
And oh, crikey! If I told you who I was talking to, you’d never believe it! This person is so famous, your wallpaper would fall off the wall if he ever came into your house!
We want to make Quokka University someplace special. We think the best way to do that is to have as many celebrities as we can walking around the campus. We’re not offering degrees or having courses, so we kind of need these celebrities. You’d think America could spare a Kardashian or two.
The problem is, most of the celebrities that we quokkas consider celebrities are hardly celebrities at all, as humans see it. I mean, we would go positively bonkers if we could ever meet Harold J. Flotsam! Just thinking about it makes my joints all rubbery–I have to sit down. But I am told most humans have never even heard of him. Sheesh! How could you miss him?
By the same token, a lot of celebrities that humans consider celebrities are not celebrities at all, as quokkas see it. Someone was trying to explain to me who Beyonce is, and I just fell asleep.
And then there are Tasmanian devils’ biggest celebrities, but that’s just ridiculous.
Well, as you can see, it’s a thorny problem, but we’re working on it. We won’t stop till Quokka U. proudly takes its place among the world’s great universities!