Wanted: Celebrities for Quokka U.

Quokka - Description, Habitat, Image, Diet, and Interesting Facts

G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here; and that’s me, talking on a cellphone. Most of us quokkas don’t have cellphones. There’s always a human around to let us use his.

And oh, crikey! If I told you who I was talking to, you’d never believe it! This person is so famous, your wallpaper would fall off the wall if he ever came into your house!

We want to make Quokka University someplace special. We think the best way to do that is to have as many celebrities as we can walking around the campus. We’re not offering degrees or having courses, so we kind of need these celebrities. You’d think America could spare a Kardashian or two.

The problem is, most of the celebrities that we quokkas consider celebrities are hardly celebrities at all, as humans see it. I mean, we would go positively bonkers if we could ever meet Harold J. Flotsam! Just thinking about it makes my joints all rubbery–I have to sit down. But I am told most humans have never even heard of him. Sheesh! How could you miss him?

By the same token, a lot of celebrities that humans consider celebrities are not celebrities at all, as quokkas see it. Someone was trying to explain to me who Beyonce is, and I just fell asleep.

And then there are Tasmanian devils’ biggest celebrities, but that’s just ridiculous.

Well, as you can see, it’s a thorny problem, but we’re working on it. We won’t stop till Quokka U. proudly takes its place among the world’s great universities!

6 comments on “Wanted: Celebrities for Quokka U.

  1. That is a truly adorable picture. At least ten years ago, I had a skunk problem and set a trap. The idea was to use a trap small enough that the skunk couldn’t raise its tail to spray. When I got home from work, there was a very small skunk in the trap and it had sprayed to it’s heart’s content. I threw a blanket over the cage, put on gloves and started to open the cage in place. There was no way I was going to take a juvenile animal away from its family. When I went to open the cage, the skunk went over to sniff my gloved hand, just as cute as can be.

    If Byron and klan want a Kardashian, I’m all for it.

  2. If Harold J. Flotsam isn’t available, how about Clifford A. Jetsam? 🙂

    Actually, Byron, I think you’ve become a celebrity in your own right.

  3. Byron, have you tried to contact Nicole Kidman or Olivia Newton? Having female celebrities might up the male application rate. P.S. I heard that Harold J. Flotsam was arrested and sent to jail for impersonating an officer of the law.

    1. Byron: “I’m not listening! I’m not listening!” (The thought of anything untoward happening to Harold J. Flotsam is hard for him to bear.)

    2. Actually, he was arrested for impersonating someone that was impersonating an officer of the law. There’s a lesson in this for all of us; if you’re going to impersonate someone, make sure that they are doing something illegal. Ever hear of a Dillinger impersonator? There’s a reason for that. 🙂

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