I saw this guy walking around in Keyport today. He leaned over the bulkhead and fell into the bay, but I was able to retrieve his helmet. As he climbed out of the water, shaking himself vigorously, he offered me $20 to give him back the helmet. I was going to give it back anyway. When I held it out to him, he snatched it away.
Only then did I remember where I’d seen that helmet before! It was in a Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode. If you wore it, it gave you three wishes–and then turned you into a monster.
“I’ve still got one wish left!” he snarled at me. “But as long as I’ve got the helmet and haven’t made the third wish, I won’t get turned into a monster.”
“What were your first two wishes?” I couldn’t help asking.
“First I wished to be handsome,” he said, “and then I wished to be smart. That’s two wishes!”
“Any idea when they’ll be granted?”
Well, that riled him. “What a rotten thing to say!” he cried. “I wish you’d just leave me alone!”
Uh-oh.
I suddenly found myself at home, leaving this man alone. Obviously his final wish was granted.
Poor devil!
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