How to be an Intellectual

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Hi, I’m your guest blogger today and you can have that other guy back as soon as he can untie himself.

My name is Egbert Bolgani, and I have been here at B.S.U. for six years and Im working on my degree in Socal Justice & Equality Studies. My dad he says I better get it soon or he will have to sell the house, lol. But in the meantime I have learnt how to be an intellectural.

Its hard to do at first, kind of like learning how to go up stairs on a pogo stick, but once you’ve got the hang of it you can just keep on being an intellectural. All you really got to do is believe whatever the prefessors they tell you to believe, and when they ask you a question, you just tell them something they already told you.

You have to learn all these things you got to say, and when you got to say them, and how to say them the right way incase there is a news crew watching. You can practice in front of a mirror. Just say “Only good, hard communism can save the planet from man-made Climate Change” over and over again until you get it right and you can say it on camera.

A intellectural is not allowed to go to church unless its one of them churches where they do gay weddings and dress up like animals, and your not supposed to believe in God. Every night at our dorm we bow down and kiss the floor in front of a little statue of Presdent Obamma, with that nice big grin of his. Then we apolergize for not being gay. Our dorm commissar says we do it real good by now. We also have to apolergize for being white.

Now that I am an intellectural, I just got to stick around here till I get my degree, and then stay for grad school, and then get my PHD, and then I can get a job in some collidge somewhere teaching more students how they can be intellecturals too. My prefessers say a country can’t never have too many intellecturals. He has a autograph picture of John Kerry in his wallet wich he takes out and kisses when he thinks no one is looking. I offered to trade him two Hilry Clintons for it but he said no deal and he also knocked me down a grade, too.

In closing, that other guy is getting out of the ropes and he looks pretty mad, so I guess I’ll go now. See you in collidge! Bye.

4 comments on “How to be an Intellectual

  1. This would be hilarious if it weren’t for the sad truth that these same “intellectuals” (woops, intelectruals) were not on the loose all over the country.

    1. If you’re from way out in the stick and go to B.S.U. they’ll call you an intellectrural. 🙂

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