On Our Way to Utopia!

Most Common Kinds of Vehicle Accidents - Side Car

The Democrat governor of Castrovia (“Our 57th State!”), His Excellency Woody Winkie, has issued an emergency executive order that from now on, motorists in Castrovia must drive on the left side of the road instead of the right.

“I know it’ll be a little confusing for a day or two, and maybe cause a couple of minor fender-benders,” chuckled the governor, “but believe me, what with the White Virus ravaging the world, this is probably our best way to combat systemic racism.”

Changing the driving rules, he added, would also combat income inequality, Climate Change, white privilege, and belly-button lint.

“And if we need to do more, we’ll do more,” Winkie said. “The next step will be to declare the state’s official language to be Austrian.”

To vote for Gov. Winkie’s re-election by mail wherever you are, whoever you are, just send a note to the Castrovia Elections Collective.

A Democrat Ditty

Image result for images of betty boop

Here’s a little song to be sung by Betty Boop on the floor of this year’s Democrat National Convention, to celebrate the criminalization of Climate Change Denial, to the tune of “Put Another Nickel In.”

If your reasons don’t avail, throw that other guy in jail

You can’t say ‘There ain’t no Climate Change’ (Boop-boop-ee-boop)

If you can’t be right, be wrong–Doesn’t matter if you’re strong

You can’t say there ain’t no Climate Change (Boop-boop-ee-doop)

If your logic comes up short, Don’t debate–just go to court!

You can’t say ‘There ain’t no Climate Change’ (Boop-boop-ee-doop)

You can say there is no God, you can say that beef is scrod,

But you can’t say ‘There ain’t no Climate Change’ (Boop-boopee-doop)

Marriage, family, you and me, Nothing’s what it seems to be–

But you can’t say ‘There ain’t no Climate Change’ (boopity-boop!)

(Allow ten minutes for hysterical applause)

 

Elfs Thay Are Reel!

Hear at Collidge we are alyaws exploring the frontears of knolidge. I nevver knew that elfs thay was reel untill i seen this hear viddio we seen it in Gender Studdies Class and my prefesser he “sayed well pittchers” thay dont lye!!

I bet yiu diddnt kno that elfs thay are caused by Climbit Chang and aslo bye Income Innaqualty, those are The things “that” wake the elfs up! Yuo can seee it rihgjt hear in The viddio! And iff that is not enugh to confince yuo i fuond another viddio let mee seee iff i can plug it into this hear post I wil bee rihgjt back!

Wel their now! yiu has seen it “for” yuosself! and If yiu was in collidge lyke i am and if yiu was a Interllectual lyke me yuo wuld kno it not a Hoax! Unles it was “that” Donold Trump he mihgjt do a Hoax becose he kno Hillery she is goinge to “be” Pressidant and so he try to cheet.

But Any interrlectural he can seee this Is True Sceintiffick Proof that elfs thay are reely reel! and thare going to bee a lott mor Elfs aruound unles thay pur them Climbit Chang Denyers in Prisn whare thay belong!

Scientists Say It’s OK to Lie for Climate Change

In April of 2014, two scientists published a peer-reviewed article in a scientific journal in which they stated that it’s perfectly acceptable to lie about “climate change” if it can get people to behave as scientists want them to behave ( http://ajae.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2014/02/24/ajae.aau001.abstract ).

Don’t believe me? Fine. This is from the introduction to the article in the American Journal of Agricultural Economics, by Fuhai Hong and Xianjian Zhen:

“In fact, our key result–that overpessimism alleviates the underparticipation problem–implies that the propaganda of climate skepticism–” Note that it’s the skeptics who are doing propaganda, not the confessed liars themselves–“may be detrimental to the society.” Dig those crazy euphemisms.

Another quote: “[A] rationale for the phenomenon of climate change accentuation or exaggeration [that is, lying] on the part of the international mainstream media…”–they are counting on the nooze media being in cahoots with scientists who exaggerate the effects of climate change–“… exaggeration of climate damage [that is, lying] may alleviate the problem of insufficient IEA [International Environmental Agreements] participation.”

So there you have it–scientists saying it’s okay to lie about “climate change” (known as Global Warming when the weather is hot) if the lies can be used to trick people into signing on to International Environmental Agreements.

At the time there were a number of scientists who denounced this paper in no uncertain terms. But when we hear a scientist preach about the need for tighter government controls on our behavior, because they’re needed to Save The Planet, how are we supposed to know which scientists are truth-tellers and which ones are liars?

General Principle to Follow: If a proposed policy or action will have the effect of increasing the wealth and power enjoyed by politicians and/or scientists who have already established themselves as liars and cheaters, such a policy or action should be immediately rejected.

P.S.: My friend the homicide detective says cases often solve themselves without him having to do much detecting. How? “The bad guys can’t help blabbing about what they did,” he explains. “If they don’t brag about it to some other convict, they’ll just burst. And then the other convict rats ’em out.”

Here we have the Climate Change bad guys bragging and ratting themselves out.

Gloom and Doom Report: Yellowstone Volcano

The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof: the world, and they that dwell therein…   –Psalm 24

Fortified by hymns and a bike ride, I return to my journalistic function. Wahoo.

Today we have scientists warning us that the volcano under Yellowstone Park, or some other big nasty, might blow sky-high in an eruption: “a major one that could kill millions and devastate the planet” ( http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/632054/Yellowstone-about-to-blow-1-in-10-chance-super-volcano-will-kill-millions ).

Global Warming gonna get us… no, it’s the ocean gonna get us… we’re all gonna die…

There have been some pretty terrible volcanic eruptions in the past–like Krakatoa, or the one that destroyed the Minoan civilization, and Vesuvius is always itching to wipe out a few more cities. But it is not in the nature of a volcanic eruption to “devastate the planet.” I mean, The Planet is pretty big, and even the biggest eruption, by comparison, is pretty small….

If Christians warn people that God’s wrath is nothing to trifle with, and that He just might order the land to spew us out, well, they all laugh at us, or even shake their fists and make faces at us.

But when “scientists” warn us that we’re doomed, we’re all supposed to take it seriously.

They’re always trying to scare us. I think it’s supposed to whip us into line. There’s absolutely nothing they can do to prevent the volcano under Yellowstone from erupting; but if this story gets repeated often enough, you can bet the house that somebody in Washington will move to set up a Dept. of Volcano Safety and demand we all pay higher taxes. Or it’s part of Climate Change, and we must all pay higher taxes.

Or, like, maybe we could stop provoking God’s wrath?

I dare any public figure to suggest that.

What Beliefs Will We Be Allowed to Have?

Conference organizers concealed the identities of the participants, according to The Telegraph.

While the world was looking elsewhere, a bunch of top judges and lawyers from all over the world got together in London, in a conference funded by (who else?) the U.N., to try figure out a way to make it against the law not to believe in Global Warming ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/11924776/QC-calls-for-ruling-to-scotch-claims-that-challenge-consensus-on-global-warming.html ).

Well, actually, what they want to do is somehow to translate the “settled science,” the “scientific consensus,” the “97% of scientists believe that Colgate is an effective decay-preventive dentifrice” ** Oops! got carried away, should be “97% of scientists believe in Global Warming so that makes it true”–all this, they wish to translate into law. “Facts” are to be made laws; and presumably it would then become a criminal offense to dispute the “facts.”

Only liberals have so little confidence in their own opinions that they always seek to have them put over by force. They can’t convince us that their “Climate Change” is anything other than a big, fat scam, so they want to shut us up.

Is this how honest men behave?

Is this how science is to proceed from now on? Whoever has the most force at his disposal, wins the debate–or, better yet, just shuts down the debate?

This trail has been blazed by the “gay marriage” pioneers. Don’t like it? Don’t want to take part in a same-sex “wedding”? Okay–we’ll ruin you financially, turn you and your whole family into public enemies, destroy your livelihood. We don’t bother to try to win the argument! We just crush the opposition.

Hey, folks–enjoy your opinions while you’re still allowed to have ’em.

Cardiff Giant Supports Climate Change Summit

Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.

In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.

I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.

Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!

I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.

Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.

Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.

A World Governed by Satanists

http://governmentpropaganda.net/images/nwo/Satan-over-washington.jpg

Does it bother any of you that America is about to do away with religious liberty? Gee, it’s only one of the core principles that brought this country into being. That whole “America” idea grew out of freedom of religion.

And remember when laws told you what you couldn’t do–and beyond that, you were on your own?

But now we have laws to tell you what you must do: for instance, buy medical insurance whether you want it or not, whether you can afford it or not, or else pay a fine.

But even worse than that, even more fundamentally antagonistic to our country’s very reason for being, is this new doctrine: Religious freedom ceases to exist the moment a Christian is ordered by a homosexual to take an active part in an evil, same-sex parody of marriage. If you’re a faithful, Bible-believing Christian, and a pair of lesbians demand that you–let’s say you’re a florist–personally decorate their “wedding” venue: well, pilgrim, the fact that you consider such a thing to be totally sinful, an abomination, a blot on your immortal soul–hey, that’s just too bad! You either participate in someone else’s sin, or the government destroys your livelihood, and maybe doesn’t stop there with your punishment–you menace, you enemy of the human race!

Really–if the government can actually force someone to take action that is outrageous to his conscience and his religious beliefs, how can we say there’s any religious freedom left?

At the same time, the UN’s top “climate” honcho–what an absurdity!–says Global Warming gonna kill us all, unless we take active steps toward “depopulation” ( http://www.infowars.com/video-un-climate-change-official-says-we-should-make-every-effort-to-depopulate-the-planet/ ).

Notice how none of these rich, powerful, Climate Change wallahs who wants to depopulate the earth ever sets a good example by hanging himself.

Do you know what is the scariest thing about all this business?

If by some powerful magic we could instantaneously consign the whole Obama regime to another universe, and completely dismantle the United Nations–as gloriously happy as that would make some of us feel, it would do no good. The places held by those devil-worshipers would instantly be filled by others exactly like them. That’s how deeply depraved our culture is. The corruption reaches very far down from the top.

America doesn’t need another election.

America needs an exorcism.

America needs her people repenting on their knees–and then rising up to defend the right, and do it.

How to be an Intellectual

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EPoiPetJNes/U_tpJ2gDCqI/AAAAAAAA3JA/yKznyYgM4Cc/s1600/mCKSq0Hp_O3-eSqdeVCQvCA.jpg

Hi, I’m your guest blogger today and you can have that other guy back as soon as he can untie himself.

My name is Egbert Bolgani, and I have been here at B.S.U. for six years and Im working on my degree in Socal Justice & Equality Studies. My dad he says I better get it soon or he will have to sell the house, lol. But in the meantime I have learnt how to be an intellectural.

Its hard to do at first, kind of like learning how to go up stairs on a pogo stick, but once you’ve got the hang of it you can just keep on being an intellectural. All you really got to do is believe whatever the prefessors they tell you to believe, and when they ask you a question, you just tell them something they already told you.

You have to learn all these things you got to say, and when you got to say them, and how to say them the right way incase there is a news crew watching. You can practice in front of a mirror. Just say “Only good, hard communism can save the planet from man-made Climate Change” over and over again until you get it right and you can say it on camera.

A intellectural is not allowed to go to church unless its one of them churches where they do gay weddings and dress up like animals, and your not supposed to believe in God. Every night at our dorm we bow down and kiss the floor in front of a little statue of Presdent Obamma, with that nice big grin of his. Then we apolergize for not being gay. Our dorm commissar says we do it real good by now. We also have to apolergize for being white.

Now that I am an intellectural, I just got to stick around here till I get my degree, and then stay for grad school, and then get my PHD, and then I can get a job in some collidge somewhere teaching more students how they can be intellecturals too. My prefessers say a country can’t never have too many intellecturals. He has a autograph picture of John Kerry in his wallet wich he takes out and kisses when he thinks no one is looking. I offered to trade him two Hilry Clintons for it but he said no deal and he also knocked me down a grade, too.

In closing, that other guy is getting out of the ropes and he looks pretty mad, so I guess I’ll go now. See you in collidge! Bye.

A Few Simple Truths

There are times when I just feel swamped–so much crazy stuff going on, I can’t decide what to write about. So how about a little selection of simple observations?

Just because everybody says it’s true, doesn’t mean it’s true. The “appeal to consensus” is an invalid argument. But it’s the main support beam for Evolution, Climate Change, what have you.

But of course if the majority opinion is that some liberal scheme is wrong and totally undesirable, consensus then becomes irrelevant.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker doesn’t have a college degree; therefore he isn’t qualified to be president. Maybe he ought to cram for a degree in Women’s Studies. Then he’d be qualified to be president.

Every utopian scheme–are you listening, Humanist Manifesto fans?–is doomed to run aground on the rocks of sheer impossibility. They promise things that no one can give, and eventually succeed only in arousing a revolution of rising expectations. You can’t string people along forever.

If President *Batteries Not Included really loves this country, he has a mighty strange way of showing it.

If our current crop of leaders truly is the best a nation of 300 million can do, God help us.