Cardiff Giant Supports Climate Change Summit

Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.

In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.

I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.

Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!

I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.

Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.

Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.

7 comments on “Cardiff Giant Supports Climate Change Summit

  1. How do you come up with this stuff? You’re a riot!

    Now I’m off to look up more about the giant. I bet the humanists of the time were eager to disprove him because they didn’t want to believe that giants like Goliath existed.

    1. Alas, you couldn’t be more wrong. The Cardiff Giant hoax was perpetrated by an atheist who wished to make Christians look gullible and foolish.

      People still remembered the giant when I was a little kid–but not so little that the name didn’t stick in my memory.

  2. I looked up the Giant and saw different pictures of “him” and there are clearly 3 different giants shown, one with ribs prominent, one with the right hand on the chest, one with the right hand covering the privates! Not just a hoax, but a poorly executed hoax.

    1. You’re on the right track: P.T. Barnum made at least one unauthorized copy of the giant, after trying unsuccessfully to buy the original. So there are at least two editions of it, and a third wouldn’t be a big surprise.
      As Jimmy Durante used to say, Everybody wants to get in on the act!

  3. Oh how I wish the presidency of Owhatsisname had really been a hoax. Winding the clock back would be such a relief. But, for the time being, Cardiff, you’ll have to continue in the top spot 🙂

  4. I read recently where Arthur Conan Doyle was in on the Piltdown Man hoax. It seems those who leave Christianity for Agnosticism or spiritualism can resist trying to tear down orthodox.Christianity.

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