Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.
In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.
I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.
Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!
I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.
Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.
Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.