Here he is as he was on public display in Syracuse, NY, in 1869.
Hoaxes come and hoaxes go. They never stop coming.
Here’s one of the more popular efforts of the 19th century:
True, hoaxes today are bigger and better than ever (think Climbit Change), and the rich and powerful dirt-bags who produce them get even more rich and powerful.
Well, it’s a fallen world, isn’t it?
Piltdown Man… not!
I enjoy plugging prehistoric animals–mammals more than dinosaurs–into my Bell Mountain books. It’s just plain fun.
However, I’ve avoided the slight temptation to ring in prehistoric critters that have turned out to be deliberately faked fossils (https://www.popularmechanics.com/science/archaeology/g3051/fake-fossils/).
The most famous fossil fraud is, of course, Piltdown Man. Discovered in Britain in 1912 and ballyhooed as the Missing Link between apes and man, Piltdown Man took England’s scientific establishment by storm–although scientists elsewhere had their doubts. The fraud was not exposed until 1953… after appearing in textbooks all over the world.
More recently, China produced “Archaeoraptor,” supposedly a flying dinosaur. That one turned out to have been manufactured by Chinese peasants using parts from other fossils.
And from Russia we got “Alyoshenka,” supposedly the fossil remains of an extraterrestrial UFO voyager stranded on the earth. It’s hard to see how this could have fooled anyone.
I’m not counting honest scientific mistakes, like “Nebraska Man,” based on the tooth of a prehistoric pig, or confusing, possibly fake, but just possibly real, examples like the super-dinosaur “Amphicoelias,” whose briefly famous nine-foot leg bone somehow got lost and can’t be studied anymore.
We shouldn’t be surprised that fraud exists within the sciences: people are people, and people are sinners.
So don’t hold your breath waiting for Piltdown Man or the Cardiff Giant to be guest starring in any of my stories.
This Just In: Long thought to be a 19th century hoax, the Cardiff Giant last night came to life, broke down the museum where he was on display, and made a beeline for the upstate New York town of Hsiao Chiang. There he broke down the doors of the WBSS Radio studio and commandeered the microphone.
Ten feet tall and completely petrified, the Giant proved immune to police bullets, tasers, and tear gas. His efforts to clear his throat destroyed the station manager’s office. But eventually he made himself heard.
“Attention! This is the Cardiff Giant speaking to you! My head is solid stone! I demand that you elect me president. If you don’t, I will destroy you.”
It is not known whether the Giant is available for interviews. He has pledged himself to “chase out of America” any persons who disagree with him about any subject.
The Democrat Party has endorsed him.
Let’s face it–the classic hoaxes of the 19th century–like the Cardiff Giant–look like absolutely nothing, compared to the hoaxes of the 21st. “Systemic Racism” is catching up fast, but “Man-Made Climate Change” is still in the lead.
Genuine petrified man, ten feet tall. You wouldn’t think that would fool anybody, would you?
But look at all the people who believe in public education.
Violet Crepuscular attempts to brace her readers for what’s going to happen in Chapter CCCXLIV of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney. “Brace yourselves, dear readers!” she writes. And lets it go at that.
Things have been so hectic in Scurveyshire lately that no one has noticed the gang of 75 native workers–natives of what country, we are not told–frantically digging up half the village common. They are directed by Professor Saltinus Facehead, F.A.P. But early this morning, people finally do take notice: the diggers have unearthed a perfectly hideous colossal sculpture. Here is a picture of it.
Lord Jeremy Coldsore, Justice of the Peace, and the American adventurer Willis Twombley, weirdo, hasten to the common in response to complaints by everyone in town. They find the professor celebrating with a rather large bottle of The Lying Tart’s cheapest Scurveyshire ale.
“What is the meaning of this?” inquires Lord Jeremy.
“The meaning?” cries the professor. “Why, man, this sculpture is pre-Neolithic–maybe even pre-human! It’s the largest sculpture of its kind in all the world. By Jove! It makes the Americans’ precious Cardiff Giant look like a bauble on a charm bracelet!”
Twombley swiftly draws his six-gun and shoots the hat off the professor’s head. “Watch what you say, ol’ hoss!” he warns. “Us Americans set a lot of store by that there Cardiff Giant. My next shot’ll ventilate you.”
“Have you a permit for this mess?” demands Lord Jeremy.
“My dear boy,” replies Professor Facehead, “I have a personally signed firman from the Sultan of Swat authorizing me to dig anywhere I please, as long as it’s not in his territory. I need hardly point out that the sultan is our own deer queen’s favorite pen pal! So don’t interfere, or you’ll find the Coldstream Guards bashing down your door.”
We are troubled by Ms. Crepuscular’s use of the word “deer” instead of “dear.” She provides no explanation for it. She closes the chapter with news that her nomination for the Pulitzer Prize, entered by her excitable neighbor, Mr. Pitfall, seems to have gone astray. “I should have heard from the committee by now,” she says. “I can’t imagine what could have happened to my nomination.”
It takes a giant fraud to introduce a giant fraud, so back in 2016 we pressed the Cardiff Giant into service to present formal findings that fraudulent scientific papers in 2016 were ten times more common (!) than they were in the 1970s.
Yeah, Science always has the answers. Even when it’s lying. Science is true even when it’s lying. Just ask any liberal.
No problem. In at least one published, peer-reviewed scientific paper, the authors said it was perfectly all right to lie, if that’s what it takes to get the plebs out there to do what you want them to do.
Ask any liberal.
We’re always happy to hear from the Cardiff Giant!
Like he says, hoaxes get lonely for other hoaxes and really appreciate it when a good one comes along.
https://leeduigon.com/2015/12/01/cardiff-giant-supports-climate-change-summit/
The biggest hoax of the 19th century has nothing but admiration for the biggest hoax of the 21st.
All right, it’s not as exciting as bobbing for apples… but it’s not as messy, either.
Well, er, sort of fantastic, anyway. Be the lucky reader to post the 5,000th comment on this blog, and win one of my books, autographed.
There are less than 100 comments to go, so we should have a winner sometime very soon. Anyone can play, and anyone can win.
If you’re new here, or just haven’t commented before, we’d love to hear from you. Just scroll down to the bottom of any post and click “Leave a Comment,” and you’re in business.
Rules: No f-bombs or the like; no abusive comments directed at me or any readers; no making believe you’re leaving a comment when you’re really trying to sell something–I mean, honestly, that’s low and it’ll get you spammed every time; and no wasting time with stuff that’s just totally inane. Aside from that, pretty much anything goes.
I wish I could offer something more exciting than a book–a breeding pair of jackalopes, say, or a full-size replica of the Cardiff Giant–but for the time being, anything grander than a book doesn’t seem feasible.
Hi, everybody! It’s me, the Cardiff Giant, the 19th century’s most famous scientific fraud.
There ain’t a lot to do, just being a museum exhibit, so I like to follow the progress of 21st century scientific fraud. Did you know there’s a study that shows that bogus scientific papers have become almost ten times more common than they were in the 1970s ( http://www.cbsnews.com/news/study-scientific-research-fraud-on-the-rise/ )?
And remember–that doesn’t count the ones that get away with fraud. These are just the ones that got caught and had to be retracted by the publisher.
I love you folks who say, “Well, they still have a long way to go before they top the Cardiff Giant!” But the fact is, when it comes to scientific fraud, I ain’t fit to run errands for the grand-daddy of ’em all–Global Warming (Climate Change, when the weather’s cold).
Y’know, when I got exposed as a humbug, interest in me kinda dried up and blew away. But by now, even though it’s been thoroughly exposed, Global Warming is still alive and kicking. I guess that’s because world leaders like it. Me, I was just the poor old Cardiff Giant. They never had me over to the White House.
Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.
In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.
I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.
Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!
I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.
Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.
Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.