Let’s face it–the classic hoaxes of the 19th century–like the Cardiff Giant–look like absolutely nothing, compared to the hoaxes of the 21st. “Systemic Racism” is catching up fast, but “Man-Made Climate Change” is still in the lead.
Genuine petrified man, ten feet tall. You wouldn’t think that would fool anybody, would you?
But look at all the people who believe in public education.
Ah, settled science!
Remember “the gentle Tasaday,” whose language had no words for “war” or “conflict”? Yowsah. They lived in the sticks in the Philippines, supposedly cut off from the rest of humanity for at least a thousand years, and therefor “natural” and “unspoiled”–living proof that man, if left uncorrupted by capitalism or whatever, is born to be a hippy.
Not.
After a couple of media orgasms, it came out that the Gentle Tasaday were just another hoax (https://leeduigon.com/2015/11/22/the-stone-age-tribe-that-wasnt/). They were putting us on. It seems being international media stars beats being poor.
And to think they could’ve wound up decorating containers of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream!
Ah, well–the next hoax will be even better. Maybe someone will discover a tribe of naturally transgender persons who’ve been messing about with their identities for a thousand years and still can’t make up their minds…
Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.
In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.
I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.
Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!
I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.
Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.
Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.
