On Our Way to Utopia!

Most Common Kinds of Vehicle Accidents - Side Car

The Democrat governor of Castrovia (“Our 57th State!”), His Excellency Woody Winkie, has issued an emergency executive order that from now on, motorists in Castrovia must drive on the left side of the road instead of the right.

“I know it’ll be a little confusing for a day or two, and maybe cause a couple of minor fender-benders,” chuckled the governor, “but believe me, what with the White Virus ravaging the world, this is probably our best way to combat systemic racism.”

Changing the driving rules, he added, would also combat income inequality, Climate Change, white privilege, and belly-button lint.

“And if we need to do more, we’ll do more,” Winkie said. “The next step will be to declare the state’s official language to be Austrian.”

To vote for Gov. Winkie’s re-election by mail wherever you are, whoever you are, just send a note to the Castrovia Elections Collective.

9 comments on “On Our Way to Utopia!

  1. I know this is satirical but the reality happening now in some cities sounds just as crazy.

    1. Once you start “solving” Great Problems that aren’t real and can’t be explicitly defined–like “systemic racism”–you’re well on your way to a loonocracy.

  2. And the names have been changed to protect the guilty. If science fiction can become reality, so can sarcasm.

  3. I’m glad the scourge of belly-button lint has finally been addressed. Now we can grapple with the even greater scourge of missing socks in the dryer.

    1. I would dearly love to ask one of these pinheads to define “systemic racism” and tell me what “income equality” would look like and how it is to be achieved. These are not ideas: they are babblings.

    2. How about systemic hypocrisy? D.C. is having another big protest today, but are they really protesting. It is like Tucker Carlson is saying, all this irrationality is to defeat Trump in November. I can’t wait to see Trump win by a landslide. Defund the police, what stupidity.

    3. Do these morons even know what they want, apart from getting some Democrat doofus into the White House? There’s nothing here! Devoid of thought! And they’re allowed to vote.

    4. As the Alinskyites always say, “The issue is never the issue. The issue is the revolution.”

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