Blue State Governor Harriet Howlermonkey has consigned a sealed executive order to a safe deposit box, not to be opened until Oct. 1, 2120–one hundred years from now (www.ohcomeonnow.com).
Why not just open it after the governor’s term expires?
“We can’t even get a peek!” said Assembly Speaker Jack Innabox. “There’s another executive order forbidding us to peek, and we have to obey any executive order by the governor.
“We’ll just have to wait a hundred years, and then whoever’s around will have to do whatever the sealed order says.”
But what does the order say? Speculation abounds: everybody’s guessing. The staff at Eyewitless News lists the top five guesses:
*All non-citizens are now citizens, and all citizens are now non-citizens.
*No one in the state is allowed to sleep past 5 a.m.
*Face masks must be worn while you sleep, and social workers will come into your bedroom and check, every half hour.
*If you’re not in government, it will be against the law for you to have any kind of electricity. Even static electricity.
*Sandwiches must now be made with the bread inside and the contents outside.
“All we know,” said Innabox, “is that an order is an order and it must be obeyed!”