The Mystery of the Sealed Executive Order

Under Sealed Orders: Marshall, Catherine: 9780340125076: Amazon.com: Books

Blue State Governor Harriet Howlermonkey has consigned a sealed executive order to a safe deposit box, not to be opened until Oct. 1, 2120–one hundred years from now (www.ohcomeonnow.com).

Why not just open it after the governor’s term expires?

“We can’t even get a peek!” said Assembly Speaker Jack Innabox. “There’s another executive order forbidding us to peek, and we have to obey any executive order by the governor.

“We’ll just have to wait a hundred years, and then whoever’s around will have to do whatever the sealed order says.”

But what does the order say? Speculation abounds: everybody’s guessing. The staff at Eyewitless News lists the top five guesses:

*All non-citizens are now citizens, and all citizens are now non-citizens.

*No one in the state is allowed to sleep past 5 a.m.

*Face masks must be worn while you sleep, and social workers will come into your bedroom and check, every half hour.

*If you’re not in government, it will be against the law for you to have any kind of electricity. Even static electricity.

*Sandwiches must now be made with the bread inside and the contents outside.

“All we know,” said Innabox, “is that an order is an order and it must be obeyed!”

Putting Us Back in Our Playpens

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Goose-step your way to healthy living!

Well, here comes the Pro-choice crowd with yet another tyrannical restriction of our choices! All they ever do is take away your choices.

This time it’s the Berkeley City Council, which has voted unanimously to ban “unhealthy foods” from the city’s supermarkets (https://www.berkeleyside.com/2020/09/23/berkeley-will-be-first-in-the-nation-to-ban-candy-soda-at-checkout-aisles). You won’t be able to choose to buy a candy bar because that choice will have been taken away from you. No candy or soda allowed! Verboten!

Where do you go to tunnel out of this place?

Crowed one of the tinpot tyrants on the council, this is “really good behavior economics!” What the hell is that? Who gave these little Mussolini wannabes any kind of authority over what anybody else wants to eat?

Jabbered another, Berkeley is now “a world leader in healthy living!”

What kind of spineless worms consent to be governed by such fat-heads? Who wants to live in a place where they won’t let you buy a Dr. Pepper?

Sheesh! And I thought Joe Collidge was only joking when he was talking about getting rid of everything.

A Drop of Common Sense

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Let’s say there was no such thing as COVID-19–nothing out there but the stuff that’s always out there: the flu, bad colds, bronchitis, etc. And let’s forget all about mandatory face masks and social distancing.

You have a really bad cold, or the flu. You’re sick. Quite sick, in fact. Does that mean you go to work anyway? Go to your bridge club? Sit there sniffling and sneezing in a crowded movie theater?

No. It’s only common sense: no. You stay home until you’re better. That way you don’t pass your germs around to others. Do we really need a “new normal” to figure out that? Do we really need the government to throw another bunch of mandates at us?

If you’re sick, stay home. If everybody had done this in the first place, we probably wouldn’t have wound up shutting down our economy for months on end and driving everybody crazy. Healthy people can go to places and do things that sick people should avoid until they’re better. We do not need the government to tell us that. And we might have saved a couple thousand businesses from going under. It wouldn’t have been so much fun for tinpot tyrant mayors and governors, but it would’ve been a lot easier on America.

It would be a good thing if we learned this lesson.

And then we could start a discussion of the folly of hyper-urbanization. That’s another thing we need to learn.

Mindless ‘Rules’ Are Insulting

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Just another day at the governor’s mansion

I ran out of cigars and had to go to Rite-Aid.

The clerk asked for my ID, to prove I was over 18. “Do you see these hairs?” I said. I have a lot of grey showing. “Do you honestly believe I might be under 18?”

“Well, it’s the rules.”

“These cigars are a legal product. I have a right to buy them. How come I don’t have to show ID if I buy anything else in the store?”

“Yeah, but y’know, it’s the rules.”

“Your rules are mindless, stupid, and insulting.”

“Let me get the manager.”

At that point I decided not to waste any more time, and just showed the guy my driver’s license. The goons at the top wouldn’t care if I gave the poor clerk a hard time. But I didn’t like the feeling that I wasn’t as free as I thought.

There are too many people at the top who need to spend some time at the bottom.

Have They Finally Gone Too Far?

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They don’t want you to see it, hear it, or talk about it.

School officials in Rutherford County, Tennessee, are trying to forbid parents from monitoring their children’s education (https://tennesseestar.com/2020/08/15/rutherford-county-schools-tell-parents-not-to-monitor-their-childs-virtual-classrooms/). They demand that parents sign a form agreeing not to listen in on their kids’ online “virtual classroom” lessons–or else their children will be kicked out of the class.

Public education never runs out of ways to outrage the public. This is the best one yet.

What kind of miserable excuse for a parent would ever agree to such a thing?

Why aren’t they out there in numbers demanding that every clod who played a part in this be fired?

Parents! You pay for this! You pay these morons’ salaries! Why do you put up with this?

They say it’s to ensure the pupils’ “privacy.” What bunk. It’s so they can poison the kiddies’ minds without interference from the parents. They don’t want you knowing what your children are being “taught.”

If we had the sense God gave a fire hydrant, we’d put an end to public schooling now.

 

They’ll Crack Down on… Weddings?

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Have we learned our lesson yet–not to elect babbling little tin-pot tyrants who make our lives difficult?

Like, for instance, New York Gov. Andrew “America was never that great” Cuomo… who has pledged a crackdown on [trumpet fanfare, please] weddings (https://nypost.com/2020/08/26/cuomo-vows-brooklyn-weddings-crackdown-if-de-blasio-does-nothing/).

Having heard the distressing news that on a single night this week in New York City, three–count ’em! three!–Hasidic Jewish weddings were celebrated and Mayor Bill “Sandinista” DeBlasio didn’t stop it, well, he would! He’s the governor. Who do these people think they are, getting married?

Cuomo said authorities need to act if they hear of “plans of weddings that would violate the law–”

Law? Did someone debate, vote on, and enact a law when we weren’t looking?

Whether it’s dopey young men in a crowded bar, Cuomo said, “or religious people at a wedding… It’s ignorant, it’s disrespectful and it violates the law.” This from the jidrool whose government empties the prisons and releases violent criminals 15 minutes after arresting them. After all, it’s only armed robbery or aggravated assault. It’s not a wedding!

You said it, boyo! We all know by now that the COVID-19 virus will pounce on people who gather for any purpose other than Mostly Peaceful Protest and make them all sick–maybe even sicker than you make them! The virus will strictly leave you alone if you’re out there in a mob protesting Systemic Racism. But if you’re gathered for a wedding, it’ll eat you alive. You can only get together for a riot. The virus will leave you alone if you’re rioting.

Governed by Democrats… what have we done to deserve it?

LA Residents Defy Mayor’s Fireworks Ban

The Ban Everything movement suffered a setback this Fourth of July weekend–a heartening sign that we’re not yet quite enslaved.

The mayor/philosopher-king banned all fireworks, public and private. But oh, baby, look at the video!

Los Angeles County Residents Ignore “No Fireworks” Order, Celebrate With Massive Display

Thousands and thousands of Los Angeles residents lit up the night sky with their own fireworks and roman candles, prompting at least a thousand police complaints. The mayor had threatened draconian fines to anyone disobeying his commands–and the people said “So what!” instead of “Yes, master.”

All right, private fireworks is not exactly a noble cause–you could blow your fingers off: I used to know someone who had done just that–but resistance to these tinpot tyrants has to start somewhere. They don’t mind at all if we riot and burn down stores and throw rocks at the police; but they’d be bummed out big-time if we started swarming back to our churches.

Our government officials used to be known as public servants. Somehow they became the public’s masters. That error needs to be corrected.

Little Tin Gods

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Why aren’t we talking about the fact that all these disordered cities, where all these terrible things are happening… are cities run by Democrats? They can’t run Minneapolis, but they want to run the country. The jerks with all this supposed racism in their cities say they can give us a racism-free America.

But this is boilerplate left-wing stupid humanist ideology, the whole idea of toweringly imperfect people creating a perfect society and state: trolls establishing utopia. All the world needs is just a little tweaking–well, all right, maybe a very great deal of extremely violent tweaking–all of it administered by leftists–and it’ll be a paradise!

So… just elect a doddering old crook as president, throw in a passel of race hustlers, some crooked cops to run the FBI, and season it with transgender craziness–and voila! America’s problems are solved! They may have to break a lot more eggs to make the omelet, but with Democrats in charge, it just can’t help but turn out right.

The perfect society and the perfect state cannot be achieved by imperfect human beings. We will not see it until Christ’s throne is established on the earth.

It certainly isn’t going to be achieved by loons and anarchists, rioting and arson, letting all the jailbirds out of jail, and prosecuting normal people for Climate Change Denial and misgendering. Bad people do not make good things. They should’ve taught you that in kindergarten. But they were probably busy teaching that you can be a boy today and a girl tomorrow.

We are in this mess because we as a nation, along with many other nations, have turned our backs on God. Our, ahem, “leaders” want to be our gods. Look at the fun they’ve been having with the COVID quarantine. Imagine if they never had to stop.

The only way out is to repent, seek God, and turn from this madness and run, don’t walk, the other way.

 

On Our Way to Utopia!

Most Common Kinds of Vehicle Accidents - Side Car

The Democrat governor of Castrovia (“Our 57th State!”), His Excellency Woody Winkie, has issued an emergency executive order that from now on, motorists in Castrovia must drive on the left side of the road instead of the right.

“I know it’ll be a little confusing for a day or two, and maybe cause a couple of minor fender-benders,” chuckled the governor, “but believe me, what with the White Virus ravaging the world, this is probably our best way to combat systemic racism.”

Changing the driving rules, he added, would also combat income inequality, Climate Change, white privilege, and belly-button lint.

“And if we need to do more, we’ll do more,” Winkie said. “The next step will be to declare the state’s official language to be Austrian.”

To vote for Gov. Winkie’s re-election by mail wherever you are, whoever you are, just send a note to the Castrovia Elections Collective.

‘Social Distancing’… Forever?

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I don’t know about you, but I thought we already had more “social distancing” than was good for us before the Chinese Communist Death Virus hit us. Did we even know the names of all our neighbors? Did we pass by the same people every day and never say hello? Did we take each other for granted?

Oh, but that was not enough! Other people carry germs! Back off, back off! Come no closer than six feet, please!

Well, hang it all, I want to hug somebody! I want to shake hands. I want to pat somebody on the back. We are human beings, not robots. We are mammals, warm-blooded: from time to time we need a cuddle. I want to bang around with my friends on the basketball court.

Once upon a time they used to quarantine the sick. Now we quarantine the healthy. What sense is that?

Once upon a time we had laws–publicly proposed, publicly debated, openly voted upon by our chosen representatives. Now we get “mandates” handed down by whoever’s king or queen for the day.

It’s time for America to go back to being America.

Please don’t settle for anything but the real thing!