Author: leeduigon(patty)

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations.

‘John Carter’ Movie: Boo! Hiss! Away Wi’ Ye!

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I’m going to do something today that I’ve never done before–review a movie sight-unseen: this after having seen stills and trailers, and read a thorough summary of what is laughingly called a plot.

Disney’s John Carter is more than just this year’s biggest box-office bomb. It is a crime.

Edgar Rice Burroughs was famous for creating Tarzan, but he also wrote eleven novels set in the world of Barsoom–Mars–and featuring the immortal John Carter. This year is the 100th anniversary of A Princess of Mars, the first of the Martian series and Burroughs’ first published novel. (Tarzan of the Apes was second.)

The Martian novels were the finest stories Burroughs ever wrote, by far his most creative work. They are haunting. NASA and the Jet Propulsion Lab are full of men and women whose young imaginations were set on fire by these books, and that fire still burns. Quite a few young writers were inspired by them, too–including yours truly. Fifty years after making their acquaintance, I still read them with admiration and delight.

And along comes this abomination of a movie…

What they did, it seems, was to take elements of several Martian tales, randomly selected by not-very-bright 11-year-olds, throw them into a blender along with a lot of gobbledygook that they made up themselves, and, voila! A hebephrenic mish-mosh of a story that wouldn’t hold up if it had suspenders.

Great works of art are never improved by two-legged amoebas in Hollywood trying to make them more like video games. John Carter looks like a jigsaw puzzle put together by monkeys.

By all means, read ERB’s Martian novels: you’ll never forget them. But if you have any respect at all for writers and their work, approach this movie as you would an attic full of really irritable brown recluse spiders.

I love my art; it is God’s gift to me. I love the art displayed by other writers, which inspires my own efforts. And when this art is abused by dolts in Hollywod whose only inspiration is to make a buck… well, it gets my dander up.

Stupid Masterminds!

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Fiction abounds in criminal masterminds like Dr. Fu Manchu, Professor James Moriarity, Lord Reesh, et al. What they all have in common is, they’re smart. That’s why it takes someone like Sherlock Holmes to stop them.

We, poor devils, live in a real world dominated by stupid masterminds. Their schemes are too stupid to succeed, but they do just as much harm, maybe even more, than Moriarity and Co.

Our masterminds think socialism really works, there are 57 states in the United States, society is better off without marriage and the family, you can spend your way out of debt, and so on. Even the people we think are really smart are really stupid. Hundreds of Nobel Prize winners have signed on to the Humanist Manifesto II–a document that recommends a mix of atheism, abortion, suicide, and homosexuality as the solution to the world’s problems.

If you wrote a fantasy novel or a detective novel featuring the machinations of a really stupid mastermind, it would be classed as unimaginative fiction. People would think you were trying to write a Democrat Party platform. “Duh! How about we tax the pants off people who work, and give the money to people who don’t work? That ought to get the economy humming!” There are real-life stupid masterminds working on that very scheme even as you read this. And others just as addled.

Go ahead, try it yourself–try to write a story in which the villain is a big stupid idiot whose asinine ideas can’t possibly result in anything but chaos and misery.

You’ll find you’re writing about real life.

Progress Report

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I don’t feel like writing about the nasty things going on in my neighborhood, so I thought I might weigh in with a progress report on my new book–Bell Mountain #6, The Palace. Also, #4, The Last Banquet, is being typeset and should come up before the end of this summer, while #5, The Fugitive Prince, awaits its first round of editing.

So far I’ve got 10 chapters written of The Palace and a lot of neat stuff dancing around in my head. (If you’re one of those folks who ain’t even read Bell Mountain yet, then shame on you!) I had to take the first three days of this week to write up my formal review of The Hunger Games, so I hope tomorrow to go back to The Palace. Maybe it’ll stop raining tomorrow, too. It being springtime, I like to write outside.

Has anybody seen any reports of that turtle as big as a car that they dug up in a coal mine in Columbia? No, it was not alive! Really cool fossil, though.

Now, if they could only dig up Obummah’s college transcripts…

I’ve Finished ‘The Hunger Games’

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As you can see by the headline, I’ve finished reading the book. I want to review it for the Chalcedon Foundation’s print magazine, Faith For All of Life, so there’s not too much I can say about it here. (Meanwhile, I hope some of you will be curious enough to visit the Chalcedon website, http://www.chalcedon.edu )

In the course of my work for Chalcedon, I read and review a lot of toxic books. I do it so that you don’t have to read them. I do it because it’s important to monitor the culture that we live in, and because it’s a sound practice to keep an eye on what the enemy is doing.

The Hunger Games is intended for an audience of young readers, but I wouldn’t recommend it to any but the most mature for their age. There is too much in it that is, shall we say, unwholesome. I don’t believe the author put it in there to celebrate evil: I’m pretty sure her intention is to warn us off the path our society is treading. That’s a good purpose–but I’m not entirely sold on her execution.

Meanwhile, until I can get a full review written, let me tantalize you with a single point. Although this book is very well written indeed, and very well thought-out, there is a hole in it–a gaping hole through which you could drive a rather large truck.

If you’ve already read the book, or seen the movie, have you seen the hole, too? If not, can you guess what it is?

Kiwis, Ahoy!

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Somehow this blog keeps track of the home countries of its visitors, and displays them for me on a map. This is very cool.

Yesterday, I was astonished to learn that I had 10 views from New Zealand. Now how did that happen? Am I catching on in New Zealand? (Judging by the sales figures for my books, I am not catching on anywhere.) Are there really ten people in faraway New Zealand who even know I exist?

Well, in case any of y’all come back, here’s a shout-out: “Kiwis, ahoy!” I’ve never been to your beautiful country, but I was absolutely fascinated by moas and tuataras before I was three feet tall, and I still am. Fascinated by moas and tuataras, that is–I’m not three feet tall anymore.

Now let’s see if anybody shouts back…

Would You Kill Yourself if a Celebrity Told You To?

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What do you suppose people would do, if they turned on the TV and saw something like this?

“Hi. I’m George Clooney/Cheryl Crowe/Rosie O’Donnell/Barabbas [plug in the celebrity of your choice], and I need to talk to you about a very serious issue…

“Scientists tell us that human population levels are not sustainable: that, unless we “build down” the population before it’s too late, everyone in the world is going to suffer horribly–from starvation, from disease, from war…

“So we’re looking for unselfish persons–maybe someone like you–who will take the first step… The new Adios! pill from [plug in your favorite “green” company] is guaranteed to give you a quick and painless exit from this overcrowded world. Best of all, it’s absolutely free!

“For a sustainable, green tomorrow for your children and grandchildren, why not say ‘Adios!’ today?…”

How many people do you think would take the Adios! pill?

Yes, I know–I’m a fantasy writer, and I’ve just created another fantasy. It’s just for fun, right?

But what do you think would happen if they really tried this stunt?

An Utterly Shameless Appeal

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I’m told it’s very bad form for an author to plead with the public to buy his books. But is it just as bad to implore people to get their family, friends, neighbors, and casual acquaintances to buy them? Yeah, probably…

But I am also told that I must be my own publicist–rather like taking out my own appendix. I have neither the knowledge nor the talent for this role.

Look, if you’re already among the few, the proud who have bought these fershlugginer things, you are excused from reading this–although I would greatly appreciate it if you somehow compelled others to buy. But for those of you who hang around here and haven’t yet obtained any copies of my books–hey! Come on! Don’t you realize you’re allowing me to be outsold by all sorts of dreck about teenage vampires and witches and necromancers, etc.? Aren’t you ashamed of that?

This is Lee the Publicist talking, not Lee the Writer. Lee the Publicist is something of an idiot. Lee the Writer stands utterly aloof from this shameless appeal for sales. It’s all the Publicist’s doing. Honest!

But if by some unlikely chance it works… well, then I’ll take credit for it.

 

RoadKill Radio Interview

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Christian Fantasy Writer Lee Duigon from RoadKill Radio on Vimeo.

Family Freedom Fighters: Christian Fantasy Writer Lee Duigon

Ron Gray speaks with respected columnist and fantasy writer Lee Duigon, author of the popular “Bell Mountain” series. Among the topics: Teachers usurping parental authority; also, how did Christianity suddenly vaporize from the world of “The Hunger Games”?

Now That’s a Good Neighbor!

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An inspiring news story from New Jersey!

Newark Mayor Corey Booker was awakened early this morning by the noise of the house next door to his being on fire.

The mayor rushed into the burning building and carried out a woman who would have died if he’d waited for the firemen. A city detective tried to hold him back, but when he couldn’t, he followed Booker into the house. Booker suffered minor injuries, for which he was treated at the hospital and released this afternoon.

“I’m no hero,” Booker said, adding that he didn’t feel at all heroic during his action, but instead experienced intense fear.

But of course he is a hero–and if there were more like him, the world would be a better place. Hats off to Mayor Corey Booker!

My Next Book

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OK, I’m ready to write Book #6 of the Bell Mountain series, as soon as I clear away this mountain of work in front of me.

No, I don’t have a title, not yet. What I do have is the first and last chapters and some new characters. That’s all I need to get the show on the road. My Lord will give me the rest as needed.

A minute or two after I sat down to supper a few nights ago, I received those two chapters as an instantaneous burst to my imagination. Call it inspiration. I can’t begin to explain how it works.

Thank you, Father.