1957 All-Star vote scandal

From September 1, 2021

The Blue State Fund for Unity has announced a new plan to make America’s national elections more Democratic… er, I mean “democratic.”

“We got the idea from the way they used to vote for the baseball All-Star game years ago, before computers,” said BSFU Commissar Royce Squeegee: “Grab as many ballots as you can and stay up all night filling ’em out–a great way to get your favorite players onto the team! Even better than the way they voted this year, on line.”

So what is the new idea?

“Phone-in voting!” burbled Squeegee. “Even better than mail-in voting, because we won’t need drop boxes. Anybody with a cell phone can call in as many votes as he wants! What could be more democracy than that?”

California is in line, he said, to be the first state to demonstrate the ineffable desirability of phone-in voting. “Once we overwhelmingly vote Gavin Newsom back into the governor’s mansion, the whole country will follow. I tell ya, blue state governors are already licking their chops over this!

“And if you don’t have a cell phone,” he added, “the Democratic Party will give you one–free! Along with another COVID vaccination, just to sweeten the pot.”

Squeegee rejected the argument that this will lead to bogus elections with millions of more votes than voters. “There’s no such thing as too much voting!” he howled. “We ran a computer simulation that showed 700 million votes for President Biden.

“This is a fundamental transformation to top ’em all!”

Scratch a Democrat, find a thug.

A Democrat “consultant” recently appeared on a taxpayer-funded PBS nooze show in Arizona and said “If they [Republican legislators] don’t change the statute… they should be shot” (https://www.theblaze.com/news/democratic_pundit_arizona_shot_herstam).

Who loves ya, baby? If this were to happen, it wouldn’t be the first time some deranged leftid attempted to assassinate Republicans. The last one was a Bernie bro who tried to massacre Republican Congressmen playing baseball. Rep. Steve Scalise was almost killed. Cops killed the gunman before he could hit anyone else.

Half a billion bucks a year we shell out to PBS. And this is what we get for it. The host had a little giggle for his guest’s witticism. I’m not mentioning these clowns by name. If you really want to know, click the link.

And what, pray tell, was this statute that so urgently had to be changed?

Democrats want Arizona’s election laws changed this year to permit an “all-mail election,” all votes by mail, no polling places. It’s a shabby, stupid idea that does nothing but make it easier for Democrats to cheat. How many Republican votes would be “lost” in the mail? How many extra Democrat votes would be received? But if we don’t let them cheat, we should be shot.

This reminds me of the 1957 baseball All-Star Game, when Cincinnati fans stuffed the ballots and “elected” their whole starting team as the National League All-Stars. It was pretty shabby then. It’ll be just as shabby now.

America urgently needs the Democrat Party to be put out of business forever, after getting totally crushed in this year’s elections. It’s also time we defunded PBS.

Can you imagine the howl that would’ve gone up if some guest had suggested shooting liberals? I don’t know of any PBS host who would’ve chuckled over that.

Maybe we could afford to be a little less thin-skinned if we could manage to believe they didn’t mean it.

But I think they do.