‘Why Are Liberals Not Happy?’ (2016)

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The funny thing about this is, I wrote it less than a month before the 2016 elections. *Batteries Not Included was still; president of a country he hates and wants to “transform,” and all the nooze media and all the polls told us Hillary Clinton had a better than 90% chance to be our next president.

And yet the libs weren’t happy!

Why Are Liberals Not Happy?

Hoom-hom… Well, we saw how unhappy they were after that election!

Now they’ve stolen the country right out from under us, and they’re still miserable. There’s just no pleasing them.

And we’d be insane to try.

Thinking About the Nooze

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I scan the nooze every day and practically wind up pounding my head against the wall, asking myself, again and again, “Why are they doing all this crazy schiff? What good does any of this do anybody? Are they all insane?”

What crazy stupid stuff? Oh, let’s just name a few… Critical Race Theory. Open borders. Vaccine goon squads going door to door. Transgender. Defund the police. Let all the armed robbers out of jail and put people in for using the wrong pronouns.

Stuff that leftids dance around the Maypole for–but which, in reality, have to the potential to kill any country that puts these follies into practice. Kill it dead.

It only makes sense if you grant that leftids purposely want and intend to wreck the country: to kill America. Then it makes sense. They’re doing it on purpose. This is war, and they do not intend for their opponents to survive it.

That would be us, boys and girls.

I don’t think we need to posit a Vast Conspiracy involving millions of individuals, not one of whom has ever spilled the beans. In a fallen world subject to Original Sin, there is not much that ordinary human evil, stupidity, delusion, and fecklessness can fail to achieve.

I’m starting not to care why they’re doing it.

I only want them stopped. Forever.

Soviet Boss’s Public Tantrum, 1960

This was one of the iconic images of my childhood: Soviet dictator Nikita Khrushchev banging his shoe on the rostrum at the UN General Assembly. He was freaking out because they’d just shot down an American spy plane over Russia. Gasp! Oh, no! Did you say a spy plane? You mean you spied on us? [Bangs shoe on podium]

The hypocrisy was not lost on many people. Not even on 11-year-old kids.

Today, somehow I find it impossible to believe in the sincerity, or even the sanity, of some paunchy, middle-aged white liberal sitting behind a posh desk at The Guardian yelling and banging his shoe because there aren’t enough Minority central characters in children’s fiction and the government had ought to do something about it! Like dictate the content of books before they’re written! They could set up a special government agency just for that.

Will they never just dry up and blow away?

‘Prof Shoots Self ‘to Protest’ (2018)

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I just thought this 2018 post ought to be re-run today. Because now the wacky professor should be overjoyed that all his Far Left Crazy friends are in power–right? No more shooting himself!

Prof Shoots Self ‘to Protest’

Our Free & Independent Nooze Media plants and nurtures amnesia. Hey, what about those four solid years of Democrat tantrums? Like, they never happened? All we’ve done is object to a freak election that stank to high heaven. I haven’t seen any Trumpers shooting themselves.

But this “educator” shot himself… for Hillary! The most corrupt woman in the Northern Hemisphere.

Well, if they can’t get a drunken crook into the White House, at least they could get a senile one.

‘Another Abomination, from Another Liberal’ (2018)

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Libs can’t stop race-hustling even in the midst of tragedy. For them, there is no occasion that doesn’t require a cry of “Racism!”

Another Abomination, from Another Liberal

How many undocumented Guatemalan “asylum seekers” did she expect to find on a western Canadian junior hockey team bus? Has “race” eaten up their minds? And what on earth would they ever do with themselves if they didn’t have “racism” to obsess over?

And now they own our government. Doesn’t matter that they stole it. Now they own it.

No Moar Queschins Aloud!!!!!

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We done a impotant Thing tooday! Our Stoodint Soviet we voated “to” not allouw no moar Queschins abuot nothing!!!!!

We hered aboat this “here” Pannle thay hadded at Unavorcity of Somb-plaice i forgett whare,, thay “wer” Tawking abute Micro-Grecian and some Hater Biggit HE ASKD QUESCHINS!!!! What a nurve!!! So natcherly the Unadversity thay Saspendded himb and toled him he neaded “to” get “a” Psycatrick Ovulation to “see iff” he was Crayzy!!! and wood yiu beleave it??? He woodnt!!! “So” natcherly thay kicked himb Out “of” collidge and aslo Eckspelt himb!!!!

Whell of coarse thare frist Missteak was thay aloud “himb” to ask anny Queschins in the first plaice!!!!! Collidge it is no plaice “foar” Queschins!!!!! I cannot emfersize this “strawngly” enuought!!!!! We “are” “not” heer To Ask Queschins!!! We “are” “heer” to maik Socile Jutstus!!! and aslo to do Play Doh!

Nhow that big Cry Bayby he is sooing “the” Yoonavorcity for stomping On “his” so-caled  Frist Emendmint Rihghts–lyke thare “is” anny sutch Thing “as” some Frist Amandmint at collidge!!!! Him sooing “the” Skool it is a Very Very Big! Micro-Grecian!!!! In a reel Countrie that isnt a Wite Stupremist Haite Macheen he wood jist get Shott!!!!

Heer “At” our Collidge we “are” goingto ovoid the Missteak of leting anny boddy Ask anny Queschins ever at All!!!!!!!!!! and iff we has to rap peeple “Up” in a Trasht Bagg to shut themb Up,, we whil!!!!!!!!!!

Another Lib Governor Pops Her Cork

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[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip]

There are still well-meaning people who think that if only we could have a meaningful dialogue with leftids, we’d come to appreciate each other’s humanity and find ways to resolve our differences. And then we could all go feed the unicorns.

How, for instance, are you supposed to have a meaningful dialogue with the Democrat governor of Oregon, Kate Brown? Appearing recently on some goofy cable TV show–“Democracy Now,” good grief–this Far Left jidrool vowed to “use law enforcement [before or after defunding the police?] to eradicate” President Donald Trump’s “forces” (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/04/oregon-governor-vows-eradicate-trump-forces-sympathizes-antifa-murderer-condemning-trump-federal-officers/).

She described the perpetual Portland riots as “peaceful protests”–honest, it only hurts when I laugh–and at the same time blamed President Trump and evil “federal officials” for the whole business. Meanwhile, a lot of the rest of the country wondered why the president didn’t intervene to stop the riots. But the governor wants it both ways.

What exactly did she mean by “eradicate”? Make it against the law to have voted for Donald Trump? That would be an ex post facto law, explicitly forbidden by the Constitution–but how many Democrats–or college graduates–would know that? Or care?

She likes Antifa, though. Gotta give her that.

So let’s have a good old-fashioned chin-wag, Ms. Governor. How much time do we have before you call in your goon squad to eradicate me?

What has gone wrong with our civics, that we wound up having people like this holding office in America?

‘National Geographic’s Orgy of Guilt’ (2018)

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Really, when the camera’s not looking, they sit around playing video games–just like us!

Look how virtuous we are now! We used to be such racists! But now we’re pure, we’re so ashamed of how we used to be, you wouldn’t believe how wonderful we are now, ooh-ooh-ooh–! [Pause to hyperventilate]

National Geographic’s Orgy of Guilt

They’re chagrined because their magazine in, say, 1938, did not depict people living in the middle of the Congo or the highlands of New Guinea as walking around in three-piece suits and driving cars. They are abashed because they depicted faraway peoples living in radically different cultures as… exotic. Different! It’s wrong, wrong, wrong to ever portray people as living differently from others! We get this from the crowd that worships “Diversity.”

 

Next on the Cancel Train: Pepe Le Pew

By Ken Levine: Pepe Le Pew

Oh, hell. I was going to save this for tomorrow; but maybe I wasn’t the only one who didn’t expect such a quick answer to “Who’s going to be the next target of Cancel Culture?”

It’s… Pepe Le Pew! (https://www.outkick.com/ny-times-which-once-said-pedophilia-not-a-crime-sets-sights-on-pepe-le-pew/)

*Sigh* Some schmendrick of a New York Times writer thinks the romantic silly skunk in the old Loony Tunes cartoons has been “normalizing rape culture”–actually, he acts kind of like Joe Biden–and he’s also Racist, somehow. “Racism must be exorcised from culture,” proclaims this NYT diddler.

The only fun liberals know how to have is spoiling other people’s fun.

Do you ever get the impression that they just want to cancel everything? Does anybody real actually want to live in their woke dystopia?

Let’s see how long this lasts.

Canceling Dr. Suess

Vintage Revell Dr. Suess Zoo Norval the Bashful Blinket Mode Toy

Last week it was Mr. Potato Head. Whose turn is it this week, to be cancelled?

Dr. Suess!

I have discovered that the only fun that wokies and liberals know how to have is to spoil other people’s fun. Your unhappiness is the only thing that makes them happy.

See, back in the 1940s, a few of Dr. Suess’ books had “images” in them that reflected racial stereotypes widely accepted at the time. But you’re not allowed to be the 1940s! History begins with the revolution, comrades! Before that, nothing! For anyone to see these pictures would be… “hurtful.”

Some observers–Steve Turley and Mark Simone, just to name two I heard yesterday–seem to think the Cancel Culture will ultimately cancel itself out of existence. Talk about a thing that we can do without!

But moving on–what will they cancel for us next week? Gotta keep goin’ or you lose momentum! Gotta keep canceling, even when all that’s left to cancel is each other.

The sooner they get around to that, the better.

One could almost forgive them, if they found a way to cancel the Democrats…