Agenda 21 – Lee Duigon

Imagine you come back from grocery-shopping and find your house has been… stolen.

It happened to a woman in Sacramento, CA, recently (http://abc13.com/news/singers-tiny-house-stolen/1551520/ ). The news link provides a picture of the purloined house.

Well, all right, it was a little tiny house, sort of a trailer. Almost like a house from a Monopoly game–and you know how easy it is to pluck one of those off the board when the other player isn’t looking. We have wondered about those teensy-weensy “smart” cars: two or three able-bodied thieves could easily walk away with one.

This woman got her house back after a little while: whoever stole it left it parked in a shopping mall parking lot, where police found it. But that’s Side B of Agenda 21, which features these itsy-bitsy “smart” houses that opens up a whole new criminal sideline–inside of breaking into someone’s house and robbing it, just steal the whole house.

You think about that!

The Obama administration has granted $750 billion (that’s billion with a b) to a company that is developing a way to wash toilet paper so that it can be used again.

“There’s no such thing as too high a price when you’re fighting Climate Change,” said White House spokesman Slick Gullimoffin. “Anyhow, it won’t cost you a cent unless you’re white.” The project, he explained, will be paid for by a new White Privilege tax of 70% on all income.

“We are tremendously excited by the early trials of this product,” said U.S. Dept. of Energy Secretary Humbold Screwtape. “Heretofore, laundering your toilet paper has always been a difficult proposition. I mean, like, it would always fall apart when it got wet!

“But now, thanks to a new process developed by The Clinton Foundation, you can actually hand-wash your toilet paper in the kitchen sink, and it only takes about 20 minutes per sheet.”

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Jezebel Shagrat pointed to an added benefit. “Once we move all the common people into Agenda 21 housing, you won’t have closet space for a lot of rolls of toilet paper. But for just a couple of hours’ labor a day, you can have all the toilet paper you need.”

Asked precisely how washing toilet paper was going to Save the Planet, Mr. Gullimoffin ruled that such a question was disrespectful to the office of the president and had White House guards take the questioner outside and shoot him.