Tag Archives: Clinton Foundation

Break Out the Crystal Ball

Hillary Clinton – nourishing obscurity

LEAD STORY, Oct. 19, 2021–

Chief Justice George Soros ruled yesterday that the “Thank You Tax,” payable to the Clinton Foundation, is “a perfectly constitutional response” to the second round of the coronavirus pandemic.

The other eight justices of the court were declared “non-essential” and sent home last week.

“It’s not like it’s going into my own pocket,” said President Hillary Clinton. “I only get just 5% of whatever the foundation takes in. That’s only 5% more than some deplorable out there!”

The “Thank You Tax” must be paid on any medicine, medical treatment, masks, gloves, hand sanitizer, or testing having to do with the coronavirus, now called Trump’s Damned Virus (officially renamed such last week by Congress). It must also be paid along with any purchase of food, clothing, or household items made by Republicans–“since it’s their party’s fault that we got this virus,” said Speaker of the House Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

NEXT: Mandatory Transgender or Mandatory Abortions? Schumer Can’t Make Up His Mind.


Hillary: Is She or Isn’t She?

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“My turn! My turn! And I’ll fix you all–!”

As the Democrats proceed with their groundless and inane “impeachment” of President Donald Trump, the most corrupt woman in the northern hemisphere chimed in with a tweet: “In the United States of America, no one is above the law” (http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3798838/posts).

“Except for me!” she might with much justice have added. “Man, they ain’t invented a law that I won’t break. And I always get away with it–always!”

As secretary of state, in exchange for enormous “donations” to her Clinton Foundation, Hillary let Russia buy 20% of America’s uranium–you know, that stuff they use in nuclear weapons. And when it comes to criminal mishandling of official secret documents, she’s the all-time record-setter.

But the big question is this: Is she or isn’t she running for president again? She says she’s under terrific pressure to announce her candidacy for 2020.

I say, Go for it, gal! As many times as it takes to drive the Democrat Party into permanent extinction, that’s how many times you need to run. C’mon! Look at this pack of bozos that they’ve got for candidates–you mean to say you can’t beat them? And surely (!) you haven’t forgotten that it’s your turn to be president!

My guess is, she’s running.

Oh, Boy! Free Money!

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Two Morlocks with their lunch…

Gee, wouldn’t it be great if Uncle Sam sent you a check every month, just for being you? Just for existing? They could call it a “Universal Basic Income,” you’d get it with no strings attached, whether you worked or not. And a lot of Real Smart People say this would get rid of “inequality” (studio audience boos, hisses) and replace it with “equality” (studio audience wildly applauds).

Ten years ago, before Obama, 12% of Americans supported this immoral proposal.

Now, after eight years of Obama, a new poll by Northwestern University and Gallup finds that 48% think it’s a swell idea (https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/26/roughly-half-of-americans-now-support-universal-basic-income.html).

You will surely be surprised to learn that “universal basic income” enjoys its widest support among Democrats (65%!) and “young people,” aka slackers whose worthless collidge educations keep them from getting decent jobs. What’s that? You’re not surprised at all?

Proponents of this scheme pooh-pooh the notion that doling out free money will encourage people to be lazy welfare bums; it will, instead, they say, motivate people to work harder (studio audience explodes with laughter).

Yeah, but we gotta do it because of “rising inequality”! Uh-huh. What do these guys mean by “equality”? Do we all get to have, each and every one of us, his own Clinton Foundation? Do we all get movie star money?

Does anybody really need to have it explained to him why this is such a wicked and asinine idea?

How would you feel about hauling yourself off to work every day while the jidrool next door lolls around at home playing video games–supported in his slothfulness by your tax dollars which you worked to earn? Gee, that would sort of make that gink your master, wouldn’t it? And you his slave.

Why are rich, powerful liberals trying to sell us this? Are they aiming to turn us into Eloi–so that they, the Morlocks, can eat us? Is that all it’s about–cannibalism?

You just never know with leftids.

Hillary’s Running Mate

Image result for images of hillary clinton with terry mcauliffe

Is this the Democrats’ dream ticket?

Our confidential secret sources have identified the top three choices to share the Democrat ticket this year as Hillary Clinton’s running mate. One of them may become America’s vice president.

*Comedian Roseanne Barr. “Hillary likes her because she’s totally daft and so far out of the political mainstream, or any other stream for that matter, that she makes Hillary look sane by comparison,” said one of our impeccably reliable sources.

*Pope Francis I. “This could get a little tricky because he’s not a U.S. citizen,” said a source, “but where there’s a will, there’s a way. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is looking for a loophole in the Constitution. Anyway, he’s the Pope and that ought to get our gal the Catholic vote. And she likes the way he declares that Donald Trump is not a Christian.”

*Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe. “Two peas in a pod!” said our source. “Hillary’s under FBI investigation, and so is he.” ( http://www.cnn.com/2016/05/23/politics/terry-mcauliffe-fbi-doj-federal-investigation-campaign-contributions/index.html ) “Hillary and Terry go way back, and he’s done some great work with the Clinton Foundation.” Particularly impressive to Mrs. Clinton, said the source, was a $120,000 donation made to McAuliffe by “a Chinese businessman.” “With Terry and Hillary both scrounging payoffs from questionable sources, it’ll be like old times in the White House,” said a knowledgeable informant. “The only thing missing will be Bill Clinton chasing interns around the Oval Office. But Hillary can appoint him to the Supreme Court to keep him out of mischief.”

So which of these three will it be? We’ll just have to wait and see!

Save the Planet by Laundering Your Toilet Paper

The Obama administration has granted $750 billion (that’s billion with a b) to a company that is developing a way to wash toilet paper so that it can be used again.

“There’s no such thing as too high a price when you’re fighting Climate Change,” said White House spokesman Slick Gullimoffin. “Anyhow, it won’t cost you a cent unless you’re white.” The project, he explained, will be paid for by a new White Privilege tax of 70% on all income.

“We are tremendously excited by the early trials of this product,” said U.S. Dept. of Energy Secretary Humbold Screwtape. “Heretofore, laundering your toilet paper has always been a difficult proposition. I mean, like, it would always fall apart when it got wet!

“But now, thanks to a new process developed by The Clinton Foundation, you can actually hand-wash your toilet paper in the kitchen sink, and it only takes about 20 minutes per sheet.”

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Jezebel Shagrat pointed to an added benefit. “Once we move all the common people into Agenda 21 housing, you won’t have closet space for a lot of rolls of toilet paper. But for just a couple of hours’ labor a day, you can have all the toilet paper you need.”

Asked precisely how washing toilet paper was going to Save the Planet, Mr. Gullimoffin ruled that such a question was disrespectful to the office of the president and had White House guards take the questioner outside and shoot him.

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