Bear Be Gone!

What tells a cat that he can face down a bear and get away with it? Why does a bear let him do it? We are very, very far from understanding animal psychology–and that’s just our fellow mammals.

Bear In a Hot Tub

Watch how skillfully this bear removes the hot tub cover. Could it be he’s done this before? Anyhow, how else is a bear supposed to relax in a hot tub? (I’m from New Jersey, so I wouldn’t know.)

Pigs Get the Better of Bear

The bear is thinking, “Mmm, pork chops!” Just climb into the pigs’ enclosure and chow down.

But that ain’t how the pigs see it. Maybe the bear thought there was only one of them. In fact, there are two–and they don’t want company.

Is This Bear a Police Buff?

It sounds like it ought to be a joke. “So this bear walks into the police station…” (Tell us the rest if you know it!) What did he want? I heard he found someone’s wallet and was turning it in. He bypasses the vending machines, so you know something’s up. You just don’t know what.

The Bear Essentials

Well, gee, they didn’t make a mess and they left before it got crowded… So why not bears in your swimming pool? But what really impresses me is the total futility of the chain-link fence around the pool, and how easily the bears get over it.

When a Bear Comes Calling…

Get a load of this: a great big bear comes climbing up the porch to see if anyone’s home. There being nothing or no one to eat, she decides to leave.

Wait! The bear is wearing a collar. Hmm… And attacked to the collar, it seems, is some kind of little keg. Maybe it’s got whiskey in it. Maybe this critter thinks she’s [wait for it!]…

A St. Bear-nard.

 

Holy Cow! ‘We’ve Got Bears!’

You’ve got a nice little backyard pool, and you live in New Jersey–that’s safe, right?–and the last thing you expect to see when you look out the window is a whole family of bears cavorting in your pool. A mother bear with five cubs.

They liked the swing set, too.

You will notice that none of the humans involved chose to run outside and try to chase away the bears.

What a good time they had!