Jailbreak! (Oy, Rodney)

a gripping page-turner headed for the top of the NY Times bestseller list | Romance novels, Funny romance, Book parody

Suddenly we are in Chapter DXI of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney. No signs of Chapter DX. Reconstructing the lost chapter from subtle hints in this one, we conclude that Constable Chumley’s mother has given up being The Lithping Knight Thir Lanthelot and gone on a world cruise; and Chumley and Jerrold Coelocanth, got into a shouting match that no one else understood.

“Ye fitthick skurn!” (That sounds nasty!–Ed.)

“Ooblz glquuwe!”

“Yar, soth varny yir buckers!”

“Mnng Cthulhu!”  And so on.

Also in the lost chapter, Lord Jeremy Coldsore escapes from Mom’s Dungeon and winds up fleeing from the hounds in a wooded tract in southern Transylvania. I am at a loss to explain how that could have happened.

Ms. Crepuscular takes a moment to speak directly to her readers, all four of them.

“I am taking a moment to speak directly to my readers,” she writes, “because I have failed to find my notes on Chief Oxyartes and am therefor unable to produce a climax and finish my book. Sometimes Brownies get into my house. Maybe they took the notes. I am on the verge of phrognostricating!”

As for what actually happens in Chapter DXI, it may be that the less said about that, the better.

 

Stupid Authorities Crash Down on 9-Year-Old for Calling Brownies ‘Brownies’

Image result for images of child eating a brownie

Quick, call the cops! This child has a brownie!

Apparently calling brownies “brownies”–that’s the snack, nothing else: you know, those chocolate things that you call brownies, too–constitutes a racial incident requiring the urgent attention of police, the county prosecutor, and the state: at least according to the morons running Camden County, New Jersey.

This week Collingwood cops rushed over to the William P. Tatem Elementary School to deal with a 9-year-old enemy of the people who called brownies “brownies,” which another child wisely interpreted as racism ( http://www.nationalreview.com/article/437306/new-jersey-elementary-school-student-brownies ). It was the fifth time in a month that police were called to handle amazingly trivial classroom incidents.

This idiocy originated in the county prosecutor’s office. There, on May 25, police and school officials were told to report “every little thing” that could possibly be construed as racism–refer it to the New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency (I do not know what that means, and I’ll bet they don’t either: it just sounds cool).

Now, the county prosecutor has no authority over the internal workings of a local school district, unless some crime has been committed on school grounds–some act which he would be obliged to prosecute as a criminal offense. The local school board had every right to tell him to go peddle his papers. Instead, they obeyed.

Obviously the Collingwood police are way over-budgeted, if they have time to respond to frivolous calls about brownies being brownies. Surely they are overstaffed.

And certainly the State of New Jersey collects much too much of the taxpayers’ money, if they have the time and resources and personnel to investigate the ridiculous.

Does this incident not prove that government has too much of our money, and knows only how to make mischief with it?

Now, why would such an asinine thing be done?

Simple! Democrats contend that the United States is a virulently racist country that needs them to rule it with an iron fist. So you manufacture “racist incidents,” like calling a brownie a brownie, that will pump up your statistics. Then you can say, “See? See? Toldja! Why, look at all these racist incidents! Ain’t this why we gotta suspend the Bill of Rights?” Blah-blah.

This foolishness in Collingwood, NJ, has gained nationwide attention by now.

Please don’t even think about allowing any more liberals to serve in government. Not locally, not statewide, not nationally. Not ever.

P.S.–If you’re from someplace other than New Jersey, please feel free to call the Camden County prosecutor’s office and tell them what you think of this caper. The phone number is 856-225-8400.

Mom Films ‘Goblin’ (Or What?)

This might be a hoax, but who knows?

Here’s a mother filming her cute baby playing on the kitchen floor when, all of a sudden, a two-legged little mannikin runs across the floor behind him. They’re calling it a goblin. It’s shaped like a little man and runs like a human being.

I offer it to you without making any judgment as to its authenticity.