‘Has Anybody Seen the Nandi Bear?’ (2018)

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I have to go to the eye doctor this morning, so that’s going to cost me two hours’ writing time. Meanwhile, I thought this post might be appropriate.

Has Anybody Seen the Nandi Bear?

Well, I’m going to have my eyes checked, aren’t I? And I haven’t even claimed to have seen the Nandi bear. It’s so embarrassing when you tell people “Yes, I’ve seen the Nandi bear, it was just outside the car wash” and it turns out, when you get new glasses, to be just a mailbox or something.

I don’t know when I’ll be back; but please feel free to browse the archives.

‘Seein’ Things’ (2018)

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Ray’s first Jersey Devil book

For three hundred years we’ve had Jersey Devil sightings, mostly in the Pinelands of New Jersey. Is it possible that people are telling the truth about these encounters?

Seein’ Things

My late brother-in-law, Dr. Ray Miller, spent a lot of time in the pine barrens investigating Jersey Devil sightings. At the end, he could never make up his mind whether the Devil was real or not. All he’d say for certain was, “There’s something out there–but I don’t know what!”

You can find Jersey Devil videos on YouTube. Some are silly. Some are out-and-out hokum. But a few if them do show people who’ve been scared out of their gourds by something dark and strange.

Go ahead–go camping in the Jersey pines alone some night, and let us know how you make out.

My Newswithviews Column, Dec. 24 (‘Did We See… a Pterodactyl?’)

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I don’t know about you, but I needed a break from politics. After all, it’s Christmas.

So I wrote about our pterodactyl. I’m sure I’m the only Newswithviews columnist who’s seen a pterodactyl.

Did We See a… Pterodactyl?

Yes, I know, the libs will jump all over it. “See? See? We toldja he was crazy!” But as Lou Costello once said, I saw what I saw when I saw it–and I don’t care what a bunch of leftids think. They believe in much more ridiculous things than the occasional pterodactyl. I prefer not to mention any of them here.

P.S.–Don’t forget out cyber-Christmas party! All are welcome! Bring imaginary snacks and board games and party fixin’s. We’re going to have a blast!

‘Did We See a Pterodactyl?’ (2017)

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If you make a habit of looking up at the sky, you’ll see some pretty strange things.

Like this.

Did We See a Pterodactyl?

So was it a pterodactyl? Really? In Holmdel Township, New Jersey? How could that possibly be so?

But that’s what it looked like. That’s the only think it looked like.

Joe Collidge Discovers Cryptozoology

Rabbit Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

I wented to “a” reel kool lexture “last” nihght it was all abuot a New Scyints i has nevver herd “Of” it is caled Clepto-Zoo-Olligy! Oar somb thing “lyke” That!!

Did yiu know thare is aminals alll Over “the” Whirld that noboddy thay has sceen themb befour??? Somb of themb is Dynasores and Willy mammeths but somb of themb “thay” are smawl aminals and clepto zooollagists thay “Are” loocking al Over “the” plaice to fyned themb!!!!

We seen a Lot “of” slydes of theeze Secret Creetchers lyke :the “ones” up thare In the Pixture,, i hasnt nevver sceene nothing Like themb befour,, thay live Up In “The” deeep wooulds ware thare “is” aslo Big Foot and Choopa Capra and the Lock Nest Manster!!!!! Somboddy whoo was jist “a” Biggit “and” a Hater he sayed thay “are” Ownly plane old Rabbets so we beet himb up,, that is reel Socile Jutstus!!!!

Heer is anether Clepto Aminal.

Considering Consciousness Through The Eyes Of A Squirrel : 13.7: Cosmos And  Culture : NPR

At frist i thinked I sceene One “Of” theeze onct rihght hear On Our Campis it was clyming “a” Treee but ackturally it is a Seecrit Clepto Zology Creetcher it livves in Affricker and the Naytivves thay are al Afrayed of it!!!! The lexture sayed it jist gose “To Shoh” that thare is Seecrit Creetchers evry ware!!!

The lexture thay sayed theeze aminals thay Are Prooof that Evilusion it is Reel and evin Peeple thay are goingto Evolve “into” somb thing Elsse so i amb goingto Keep a Iye out fore “it”!!!!!!

The Mongolian Death Worm


All I wanted to do was add another post–and WordPress torpedoed me. Suddenly the whole format has been changed. I don’t know what I’m looking at. I have no idea why they do this to their users., I can’t start a new paragraph, and now I can’t see what I’m writing!

I just found the paragraph.

When Roy Chapman Andrews was organizing his 1926 Gobi Desert expedition, to search for fossils, Mongolian authorities asked him to keep an eye out for a kind of “death worm” inhabiting the desert: two feet long, looks like a sausage, and just to touch it causes instant death. How he was supposed to collect a specimen was not explained.

Several expeditions since then have tried, but no one has yet found any trace of the death worm.

I think it has moved to WordPress and is feeding on the brains of defenseless users. Like me.

I have no idea whether I’ll be able to post this. Here goes nothin’.


Mr. Nature: The Return of the Elephant Shrew


Jambo! Mr. Nature here, in the Horn of Africa–and so is the elephant shrew.

Actually, this cute little guy didn’t “return” from anywhere. He’d never left. But for 50 years or so, scientists couldn’t find any–although the local people said yeah, sure, they’re still around. But now, finally, science has rediscovered the elephant shrew–with the aid of no-kill traps baited with… peanut butter. Somebody had a bright idea!

As tiny as it is, the elephant shrew is most closely related to aardvarks, manatees… and the elephant. Or so they tell me.

And if it had been a cryptozoologist who’d rediscovered it, he would have succeeded himself right out of a job.

Cryptozoology at Quokka U.

Perth: Cutest quokka photo captured by Campbell Jones on Rottnest ...

G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with an important announcement. Drop whatever you’re doing (unless you’re making nitroglycerine) and listen up.

We have decided to offer a course in Cryptozoology here at Quokka U., starting sometime in the future. What is Cryptozoology, you ask? Well, plain old Zoology is the study of plain old animals; but Cryptozoology studies animals that might not exist. But of course you’ve got to find them before you can study them.

Cryptozoology at Quokka U. will focus on searching for some of the most elusive critters known–well, okay, not known–to science. Here are some of the ones we’ll be really looking for:

Customer service reps who actually serve the customer.

College English majors who can actually speak and write English.

Sane liberals.

Really big and important people who don’t lie.

Leading socialists who don’t get rich.

The problem is, as soon as a cryptozoologist finally finds one of these creatures, it ceases to be cryptozoology and instantly becomes plain old zoology instead. Once they find Bigfoot, he won’t be ours anymore.

Well, the crypto-critters we’re after have proved to be a lot more elusive than Bigfoot.

Depending on how many students sign up for the course, we’ll get up an expedition to the Outback and see what’s out there.

‘Australia’s Mystery Cats (Big and Scary)’ (2013)

In recent years, quite a few people in rural Australia have seen big black cats that don’t belong there and might be dangerous. But no one has shot or captured one, the authorities haven’t taken any action, so no one knows what these critters are.

Australia’s Mystery Cats (Big and Scary)

The video above is later than my 2013 post, so we note some changes. A few kills have been found stashed up trees: leopards do that. A man claims to have shot one and has pictures of it–which have been dismissed as a hoax. And a few government rangers have said they’ve seen the big cats, too.

But why are they always black cats? A “black panther” is a natural variation found among leopards and jaguars–so where are the normally-colored leopards or jaguars?

Meanwhile, some of those amateur videos look pretty real to me.


‘The Bloody Mystery of “The Beast of Gevaudan”‘ (2014)

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This is one of those mysteries that never will be solved–unless the French decide to let searchers dig up the gardens at Versailles. Because that’s where the Beast of Gevaudan is buried.

The Bloody Mystery of ‘The Beast of Gevaudan’

From 1764 through 1767, in a rural district of France, “the Beast of Gevaudan,” whatever it was, attacked some 200 people, killing 90 of them. The government sent thousands of professional hunters to bag it, all to no avail. A local man finally shot it, bringing the Beast’s reign of terror to an end.

They called it a wolf, but there’s reason to doubt that identification. I have nothing convincing to offer in its place, though.

All we can say for sure is that this was one of the all-time greatest cryptid stories.