G’day, everybody! Byron the Quokka here, with an important announcement. Drop whatever you’re doing (unless you’re making nitroglycerine) and listen up.
We have decided to offer a course in Cryptozoology here at Quokka U., starting sometime in the future. What is Cryptozoology, you ask? Well, plain old Zoology is the study of plain old animals; but Cryptozoology studies animals that might not exist. But of course you’ve got to find them before you can study them.
Cryptozoology at Quokka U. will focus on searching for some of the most elusive critters known–well, okay, not known–to science. Here are some of the ones we’ll be really looking for:
Customer service reps who actually serve the customer.
College English majors who can actually speak and write English.
Really big and important people who don’t lie.
Leading socialists who don’t get rich.
The problem is, as soon as a cryptozoologist finally finds one of these creatures, it ceases to be cryptozoology and instantly becomes plain old zoology instead. Once they find Bigfoot, he won’t be ours anymore.
Well, the crypto-critters we’re after have proved to be a lot more elusive than Bigfoot.
Depending on how many students sign up for the course, we’ll get up an expedition to the Outback and see what’s out there.