Soon Thare Be Head Trans Plants!!

Hear at the collidge all us interllectural we are exited by fantastick news abuot a docter in Ittaly he is goin to do a Head Trans Plant!! ( ) If yiu dont beleave it jist reed that news storry.

My prefesser he sayed “its” abuot “time somboddy done this opperatoin.’ In the storry thay sayed like maybbe the guy who gets the Head Trans Plant he wil go crazy! Wel waht dose that mater?? This hear it is Sceince! and yiu cant get in the way of Sceince!! and any boddy whoo try to stop Sceince he shuld be shott!

So i assked my prefesser wel then, Whatt Abuot Kate Lynn Gender, i heared She wonts to go back to bein A man and i dont kno howe yiu wuld doo that “maybbe one of theese Head Trans Plants” it wuld work? and My prefesser he sayed it dont mater whith Kate Lynn becose She nevver had Her Man Parts choped off and i amlost faynted becose i dint kno thatt! Yuo “mean” She stil Has “got a Pee Pee Ding Dong???” And My prefesser He sayed So “whatt,” yiu got Moth Antenners thay “growin ote of yuor” Four Head so yiu got no Buzness makin “fun” of Kate Lynn Gender and anyhow–Once thay get this hear Head Trans Plant down Pat, kate Lynn she can have lyke a hole Closet ful of boddies with no Heads and She can scroow her Head on a diffrint boddy everry day!

Thatt is “whatt makes thiss a Grate” momment in Sceince my prefesser he sayed. Wel whatt “abuot” the Statchue of Kate Lynn we just builded on the campas, how we goin to Change the Head on the Statchue thatts whatt i want to know? but he jist sayed “Dont yiu has to deecide weather you goin to get shot with them newe Hor moans they got wating for yiu”? Wel i donnow, that got fish and crabb and Spider Hormoans in that and whatt iff it mess me all upp? So he made me go ovver hear and sitt by My Self untill i deecide abuot the New hormoans…

And i gettin awffle hongry, goood thing i rembred to ware sox i can alyaws ete themm iff i has to Stay in this korner all daye.

Ben Carson’s Jesus Scandal

How inutterably shocking! A man who wishes to be president has, in his private home, a picture of himself with Jesus Christ Our Lord.

According to our nooze media, this is intolerable. Dr. Ben Carson is once again cast as an Enemy of the People, completely disqualified from ever holding public office.

Bad enough he said he didn’t believe in the Big Bang or Evolution. Even worse, his mind is not right about the pyramids of Egypt. But this–!

Now, if Carson had good taste, he would have his house decorated with pictures of Marx, Kinsey, Darwin, Castro, maybe even a framed book title page autographed by Richard Dawkins (who believes super-intelligent Space Brothers may have originally “seeded” Earth with life).

Having been exposed as someone who loves Jesus Christ, Carson’s only way out now is to start dating a Kardashian. This just may rehabilitate him in the public eye. Is there a K-sister left available, or will he have to wait in line until one of them is free?

Be in a picture with Jesus–bad.

Be in a picture with Bruce Gender–priceless!