Relying on Your Computer…

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I always include in my nooze posts a link to the original source, so the reader can check it if he wants. The link is carried from the original to my page by the mouse.

In yesterday’s post about the judge ruling that the Michigan secretary of state broke the state’s election laws, readers were surprised when they clicked the link and were treated to video of dogs sliding about on slippery wooden floors.

That video was left over from the night before; the mouse still carried it. Somehow it avoided picking up my nooze link and gave us the dog video instead. Several readers saw it there before I was able to correct the error. I think they reckoned I did it on purpose.

And they want us to have computer chips put into our brains? That’s supposed to make us smarter? Ye gods, ain’t we dumb enough already?

Zero? Really? Zero?

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This morning I had no Likes and no comments waiting for me here. I don’t think that’s happened since we first started this blog, ten years ago. How does it happen? Did WordPress do something damaging? (They’ll deny it.)

And of course my stats page is all bollixed up for no reason, and can’t be fixed, and just looks horrible.

Well, things sort of have to get better from here… don’t they?

I Could Just Go Back to Bed!

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Yesterday, for no reason whatsoever–there’s never any reason–the computer turned my stats page into garbage. Now it’s very, very hard to work with. Plus it’s ugly. I hate looking at it.

The stats page is the home base for my work, so I spend a lot of time there. Now it’s hard to work because all the colors have been taken away and it looks so ugly, it’s a distraction.

We tried updating our whatsits, but of course that didn’t work. When it comes to computers, things hardly ever work. And they want to implant these wretched failures in our brains? Even our stupid brains work better than computers!

Now I can’t see which comments I’ve already viewed and which I haven’t–that ought to help the conversation along.

This is on top of my viewer numbers crashing into the basement.

Yesterday SlimJim helped me to do an experiment. It had a dramatic result, but I haven’t yet figured out how to interpret it. I wondered what would happen if a few readers shared a few of my posts on their own Facebook pages, or wherever. Jim gave it a try, and his post, on my page, brought in 55 views!

The rest of the blog’s performance yesterday was pretty miserable. It crashed on Jan. 17 and has never bounced back. I do not know why. WordPress’ happiness engineers insist WP has nothing to do with it. In fact, they insist I have no problem. That’s rich. I’m down over 100 views a day from where I was at this time last year–and close to 200 views down from November and December.

Too much frustration. Just too much.

Help Me to Perform an Experiment

Memory Lane: Nabisco Dinosaurs – Lee Duigon

Before this blog goes the way of Nabisco toy dinosaurs, free inside every box of Wheat Honeys or Rice Honeys (and the cereals are extinct, too), I’d like to ask my readers to help me carry out an experiment.

Some of you still have a Facebook page, or something like it. I’d very much like to see what happens if a few of you share a couple of my blog posts on your page. Viewership is down more than 100 views a day, compared to this time last year, and I haven’t been able to figure out why.

If you’re on any of the new social media platforms, I’d be very interested to see what happens if any post of mine gets shared there.

Bear with me if I’m not putting this as exactly as I should: computer-speak isn’t my language. Even my Spanish is better than my computer-speak.

So could we give this a try, and see what happens? If anything does, I’ll let you know.

Trying to Solve the Freakin’ Problem

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My mouse has been spewing out long lines of gibberish whenever I try to use a capital letter. Now it’s not doing it because I’m telling you about it.

I have just loaded a new image. All right, where’s the stream of gibberish? Ain’t there. Patty’s watching me. You are reading this. The computer waits till I’m alone.

Patty knocked a bunch of crumbs out of the keyboard. That seems to have solved the problem. I hope.

P.S.–Would you believe it? Crumbs in the keyboard! That really was the problem. Live and learn.

I Might Disappear Today

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I have to find out why, on Jan. 17, my viewer number suddenly crashed and have never recovered. That means a visit to the WordPress Happiness Engineers.  Because it’s discouraging and maddening to keep writing and writing and just watch the viewership shrink by the day.

The last time this happened, last year, it was for three and a half months. Then it un-happened.

I’ve also got a brand-new computer affliction! When I go to type a capital letter, I get a nice long string of gibberish! This makes it take twice as long to post anything.

So I might be out of the saga for a few hours, trying to get things fixed. Fat chance of that–but one does have to try.

What’s Up with WordPress???

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This is fantastically frustrating–not to mention mystifying!

November, December, and the first half of January–smokin’, cruisin’, setting viewership records, riding high. It’s was wonderful!

And then, in the middle of January–crash. For no detectable reason. Just crash. Drop from 500 views a day to 300, now zeroing in on 200. I don’t know why.

Some of you have WordPress blogs, and all of you know computers better than I do. Your cat knows them better than I do. If nothing I do has changed, then why does this happen? Like, the only reward I get for this is for people to read my posts. So why do they suddenly stop? Or is this another WordPress cockup, where they stop counting accurately?

In this era of out-of-control censorship, writers are understandably suspicious that they might be getting censored. I wonder what would happen if I tried to get censored on purpose…

If I disappear altogether, know ye that it was not my doing.

Mount a search party!

An Honorary Quokka!

Quokka HD Wallpapers |

Wow! Look at all those bicycles! Surely nobody would miss just one…

Byron the Quokka here, with excellent news! Meanwhile Lee is outside doing cartwheels (figure of speech: last time he really did a cartwheel, he split his pants) because Patty has fixed his computer.

For this achievement, the faculty at Quokka University has awarded her the designation of Honorary Quokka and appointed her QU’s resident Computer Expert. We realize the “resident” part cannot be taken literally, her living in New Jersey instead of Rottnest Island; but we think we have the communications technology to make it work.

It all goes to show how it pays to marry somebody who”s both smart and determined–smartest thing he ever did.

Now if we can only convince him to offer a bicycle as the prize for the next comment contest, maybe we can pump up the readership to what it used to be.

Update on the Update

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Twenty-four hours after initiating a routine maintenance chore, the computer I normally work with is still out of the saga, hors de combat, non-functional, doesn’t freakin’ work, etc. etc. It is still configuring! Can you say “configuring”? I have no idea what that means in computer lingo; plain English won’t help you out of that labyrinth.

Patty is cautiously optimistic that it’s almost done having a breakdown or whatever else you call it when you approve an update and the whole thing turns into Nadler. Well, that would be wonderful indeed if she were right. Then I could go back to trying to get my Share button back.

I’d like to put up a couple more posts today; but I’d also like to go outside and have a cigar before it starts to rain.

Meanwhile, we can all be thankful that no one is serious about basing public policy on computer models. Especially just before an update.

The Update: a Horror Story

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Well, now what do I do?

The computer sez “install new updated version of Firefox.” I didn’t dare try, but Patty did. That was an hour ago. It still doesn’t work. It just sits there “configuring.” It’ll only take a few minutes, she said.

Meanwhile, viewership has imploded and today is shaping up as a right proper rotter. Where did everybody go? Was it something I said? I wonder if other bloggers have experienced this lately.

Yes, I’m typing this on another computer. We have two. The one I use has stopped working. What a great update. As Pyrrhus once said, “Another such victory and I am undone.” I don’t have a victory, but I love using classical quotes. It keeps me from cursing.

So now I guess I’ll go back outside and try to read this big thick book with really small print that I have to review for Chalcedon. It’s all about postmodernism. After that I guess I’ll scream for a while.