Tag Archives: computer problems

Computer Hell

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I lost a big chunk of this morning because, as I was peacefully, innocently typing the last post some two hours ago, the computer suddenly decided it didn’t want to type anymore. Hit the keys, tap-tap-tap, and nothing happens. The screen did display a warning box of some kind, which flashed on and off in just a second, much too fast for me to read it. Something about “filter keys,” whatever that is.

So I went and did our weekend’s banking and grocery shopping alone while Patty stayed here and fixed the computer. The keyboard was locked, she had to unlock it: shut the computer down, then start it up again, easy as pie.

Michael Crichton had a pet peeve about stupid design in technology, which he mentioned in several of his books. Here, one of my fingers must have touched whatever key locks the keyboard–I have no idea which, and certainly never did it on purpose. The computer keyboard provides all kinds of opportunities for disaster. All it takes is one little slip-up. I once lost five chapters of one of my books because I hit a wrong key somehow, and that whole great big job of work simply disappeared forever. Maybe some Martian has it. I had to do the whole job over again. How wise I was! to decide to type up my books in limited-size chapter sets, and send them to the editor as I finished each one. It could have just as easily been the whole 80,000-word novel. But if I go on about it any more, I’m going to wake up screaming.

Time for a cigar.

Why Can’t I Post This Picture?

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Facebook wouldn’t let me share my previous post, “To Be a Writer–Read!”, and I have no idea why. This box kept coming up, saying I had a link that was blocked. The only link I had was to a picture.

What’s this all about?

Well, let me see if I can post this one. *Sigh*

How It Feels to be Joe Collidge

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Computer stuff sometimes reduces me to gibbering idiocy.

If you notice that today’s “Joe Collidge” post appears twice, just forget about it. It is the result of a cascade of errors that I can’t begin to recapitulate, let alone explain.

Y’know, it’s rather a frightening feeling, to be messing up a routine task that you thought you knew how to do, sitting there in helpless horror as everything you do to try to correct the problem only makes it worse. It makes you feel stupid.

The WordPress happiness engineer has cleaned up the mess. I hope.

Pardon me while I go off and do a few primal screams.

Ping-backs, Anyone?

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There is an option available on my editing page, next to “Allow Comments,” that says “Allow Ping-backs and Trackbacks.” Sometimes a perverse spirit tries to tempt me into clicking that. I am deterred by the thought that if I click that option, WordPress will accuse me of “writing code” and something terrible will happen to this blog. All I know about writing code is that I must never do it. Oh, brother–what would happen if I accidentally clicked “Allow Pingbacks and Trackbacks” instead of “Allow Comments”? (He shudders.)

I’ve looked up “pingbacks,” but nothing that I’ve read has given me an understanding of what a pingback is. My wife tried, this morning, to read me an instructional post about pingbacks, but I kept getting hopelessly lost, two sentences into it. “Something terrible will happen if I try it,” I said. Eventually she agreed.

So there are no Ping-backs here, let alone Trackbacks, nor are there ever likely to be any. For all I know, a Ping-back will result in microscopic blue type on a grey background, virtually invisible. Or it might cause the rest of my hair to fall out. Unlike Elfego Baca, this blog does not have nine lives. So I have to be careful with the only one it’s got.

A Learning Experience

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A couple of my chess buddies are trying to teach me how to do this. Can they succeed, where several generations of intelligent, good-hearted persons have failed?

Well, let’s see… If this works, one of jessicafischerqueen’s fire-eating comments should appear in the space below. Fingers crossed.


I think you should provide the source link for your analysis.

On the same topic as above, if you look on the link I just posted, there are only three comments, but all three are strongly against the idea of taking down the portraits of white men.

I tell you the silent majority will show up at the ballot box and in numbers. This Stalinist cultural revolution will destroy itself before it destroys western civilization.

You heard it here first- these outrages will increase in idiocy and violence leading up to the next presidential election, and the Republicans will win in a landslide.

Ironically, if the Stalinists wish comes true and they succeed in deleting western history, then future white men can begin claiming that black gay transgender crippled retarded Islamic women enslaved the Whites. “Just look at all those black gay transgender crippled retarded Islamic women portraits and statues!” they will cry.

“I tell you it was just terrible…”

This is one of the dangers of attempting to obliterate history- you may get caught up in the obliteration.

All totalitarian political movements attempted to, and continue to attempt to, erase history.

“Year zero” is their eternal goal.

This is true of <Mao, Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, Enver Hoxa, Fidel Castro, ISIS, and the boneheads in charge of the lesbian gay trans idiot white-hating anti-Christian pro-Islamic coloured disabled and transdisabled who get elective surgery to disable themselves because they identify as cripples movement.>

If Egypt were in the United States, these morons would be hysterically demanding that the pyramids should be destroyed because the work force involved slaves.

I wonder how long it will be before students begin claiming that they “self-identify” as stupid? This way they can avoid taking responsibility for their terrible marks in Collidge.

“I should still get this great job even though my marks suck, because I self-identify as stupid.”

Young people who are too lazy to do even that much can self-identify as Kangaroo Rats and live in peoples’ homes as pets.


Holy moly! It worked! And I had better go lie down.

More Computer Agony

Angry frilled-neck lizard — Stock Photo

I know exactly how he feels!

Hey! Let’s all hook our minds up to computers, and be real smart!

Words fail me.

Today our computers decided to deny us access to our email: first one, then the other. Patty, with more than a little colorful language, got the email back. Then the computers said, “Oh, yeah?” and stopped me from getting to my blog. Mozilla Firefox was the big offender: just flat-out went on strike. Looks like they changed the format without telling anybody.

If these computers had been operating my car as I was zooming down the Garden State Parkway, you’d see the results on the evening news tonight.

Now I’m coming to you via Google Chrome, until that decides to go belly-up, too.

If I suddenly disappear, rest assured it’s not my fault! $#@#$%&!

Important Notice: Aaaaah….

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Our traditional cat video will be delayed a bit because the blamed computer monitor suddenly gave up the ghost at 4:30 and I have only just finished installing the new one. Haven’t had supper yet, either.

One More Experiment

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Wow! Shazzam! It worked!

My chess buddy “WannaBe” told me how to obtain a search bar for this Chrome page, and to my amazed delight, it worked.

The animal in the picture will be familiar to readers of The Thunder King. The Volkswagen is an anachronism. I didn’t put any Volkswagens in The Thunder King.

Uh… Where’s My Search Bar?

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You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to post this image. Don’t even ask.

I have a stats page now, which I can gain access to by using Google Chrome instead of Mozilla Firefox… only now there ain’t no search bar, so how am I going to find and plug in images to go with the post? The search bar seems to have vanished altogether. Like maybe it got dragged under the vicar’s backyard wading pool…

Lord, give me strength!

A Brand-New Computer Problem!

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You know how, if you don’t stay on top of it and regularly delete lots and lots of stuff, you suddenly wind up with ten thousand emails? And you can’t find any of the important items because they’re lost in a sea of junk?

Well, tonight this genius machine has decided not to let me delete emails anymore. I will have to wake up my wife to see if she can fix it.

My editor’s computer has decided to receive only some of its emails some of the time.

We’ll never create genuine artificial intelligence; but we have truly mastered artificial stupidity.

Excuse me for a moment… EEEEYAAAAH—!

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