By Request (A Year Ago!), ‘A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop’

Requested by Janet last year (!)–A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop, by George Jones.

Folks, I know a lot of you are wondering why some of your comments don’t get posted. WordPress says it’s the algorithms. Well, it isn’t me! Anyway, I’m going back into the “Spam” and “Pending” buckets in search of comments that should have been posted but weren’t. There I approve them for posting. Where and when they get posted… I don’t know.

Janet, I’m sorry it took so ridiculously long to fulfill your hymn request! I hope you can say “Better late than never.”

Your Disappearing Comments: Solved!

942 Sherlock Holmes With Magnifying Glass Stock Photos, Pictures &  Royalty-Free Images - iStock

So yesterday I finally decided to consult the WordPress Happiness Engineers to find out why some of you find your comments disappearing into the Blahsmos as soon as you think you’ve posted them.

First I got a surprise, a message I’d never seen here before: All the happiness engineers are currently busy, please check back with us later. All busy doing what? I’ve been here ten years and never saw that message till yesterday evening.

By and by I got through–and then learned that my readers’ missing comments are probably in a cache called “Pending,” where they have to be either approved or rejected. I looked, and there they were. “You have to train the algorithm so that it knows what you want or don’t want,” the engineer told me. Well, okay, fine. I got rid of a lot of junk and approved a bunch of comments.

If you try to post a comment and it simply disappears, please let me know: there’s a decent chance that I’ll be able to find it and revive it.

Algorithms. Does that mean “mindless robot”? Stupid robot that dumps everything into the spam folder unless directed otherwise? Yeah, I think that’s what it means.

Machines are supposed to be our servants. [Fourteen-minute laugh break.] Well, at least they don’t steal the spoons.

I’m Trying, Honest

Sigh – A Post-Election Sermon | think and let think

If you’re wondering why I haven’t reblogged any posts from Christian bloggers lately, well, I’m trying! WordPress hasn’t been letting me do it. I go through all the steps, and on the original blog the message appears: the post has been reblogged on my site. Only of course it hasn’t. It’s been shot off somewhere into cyber-limbo.

I won’t even describe what I have to do now to get a post published. And I’d better hurry up with this one!

A Shout-Out to Joshua

Shout Out Stock Photos And Images - 123RF

From time to time, regular readers of this blog mysteriously disappear. Often it’s because of a computer problem. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, you get cut off from a blog that you’ve been following. In desperation, someone might ask me to fix the problem! Might as well ask the cat.

We haven’t seen hide nor hair of Joshua all week. With him living in Japan, I can’t exactly ring his doorbell and see if he’s all right. We’re all connected in cyberspace! A tenuous connection, sometimes, easily disrupted.

Several of you have lost your email notifications, again for no reason, or lost your ability to post a comment–again, no reason–and all I can say is, “And they want to put a computer in charge of our nuclear missiles??” I have no idea why those things happen. If only there were such a thing as a WordPress troubleshooter who spoke English instead of just computer lingo, accessible to all.

Joshua! Where are you, man? Is everything all right? Do you need some prayers? Or is it just your computer going on strike, just to exasperate you?

We do care about each other, this blog is a fellowship–and we all want to stay in touch, don’t we?

So please don’t disappear on purpose!

WordPress: ‘In the Future’

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WordPress is still telling me they’ll fix my problem SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE. This wonderfully reassuring promise has inspired me to write a song… to the tune of The Village People’s classic, In the Navy.

In the Future

you can do your freakin’ work!

In the Future

you can sit there like a jerk!

In the Future

WordPress leaves in you the lurch

In the Future!

In the Future, at some undetermined date/ In the Future, WordPress swears it will be great/ In the Future, O fanabla, I can’t wait/ In the Future!

In the Future, when they change around your blog/ In the Future, when they treat you like a dog/ In the Future, when they need someone to flog… It’s you!

Now I Can’t View My Own Posts!

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Well! Last night I could easily refer back to anything I’d ever posted here.

And today I can’t!

Ya see, WordPress decided to hit its users with some [trumpet fanfare] *changes* that nobody asked for… and it appears those didn’t turn out quite as well as expected. Who do they think they are–Congress?

I have been assured that they will try to restore normalcy sometime [another trumpet fanfare] **In The Future**! I know that’s supposed to make me feel better, but it doesn’t. The future could be, uh, like someday far away when the sun runs out of fuel .

I’m supposed to take my blood pressure in the morning. I haven’t bothered to, today. What would be the point?

Well, I guess, *for the foreseeable FUTURE*, I’ll just have to remember every cotton-pickin’ word I’ve ever written. That would be easy if I were a hedgehog or an ashtray. As a literate human being who makes his living by writing lots of stuff, not so easy.

Lord, give me strength!

‘Comments Disabled’

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A number of you wished to comment on my post, “Looking for Reasons to Kill You,” only to find “Comments Disabled.” I have re-enabled them just now.

This happens a lot, and it’s maddening. So many steps have been added to the posting procedure, it’s really easy to miss one. I could ask WordPress to make “Leave a Reply” my default setting, but I don’t trust them not to replace this problem with something worse that I can’t fix. Like making the posts tiny light-blue print on a grey background. Fap! (They did that once before, and it took hours to put it right.)

I appreciate your letting me know when the comments are disabled. Which makes it devilish hard to have a comment contest, or any kind of reader participation. For the time being, I think we’ll have to live with this.

The management regrets any inconvenience.

Hello, Anybody There?

Image result for images of tarsier

I don’t appear to be getting any reads for this morning’s posts, so I’ve got to ask–are you seeing them, anybody? I don’t know how WordPress works at the readers’ end. Do they notify you when I put up a new post?

Usually by this time (1 p.m.) there are at least half a dozen hits for each new post. Today it’s only one or zero.

I’m asking about this because I never know when WordPress is going to **change** something for me, without my knowledge–and whenever that happens, this blog has major problems.

So if you can see this morning’s posts, please let me know.

P.S.–Thanks to all of you who’ve notified me that everything’s normal here today.

Uh… Where’s My Search Bar?

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You wouldn’t believe what I had to go through to post this image. Don’t even ask.

I have a stats page now, which I can gain access to by using Google Chrome instead of Mozilla Firefox… only now there ain’t no search bar, so how am I going to find and plug in images to go with the post? The search bar seems to have vanished altogether. Like maybe it got dragged under the vicar’s backyard wading pool…

Lord, give me strength!

WordPress! Grrrr! %$#@#$!

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Well, they’re doing it to me again! On our other computer, the laptop, WordPress has decided not to let me post today. All I get is a blank page. Why? Because computers are @#*&$ing unreliable, they never work, they only have to hear it’s the weekend and they go on strike! So I’m typing this on the other computer, which some weeks ago decided not to let me post on Facebook anymore.

Hey, here’s a great idea! Let’s hook our minds up with computers! Then we’ll all be smart!

“Your honor, my client didn’t even know he was stabbing his whole family to death. The computer he was connected to, it had a glitch or something. Or maybe it was doing an update…”

Yesterday the bloody thing was fine. Now it’s not. I hate computers.