Update: We’re Back in Business

Jill has fixed it so we can always find out how many comments we have at any given moment–I knew she’d do it–and the comment contests can continue.

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, returning to somewhat normal activities in a bid to soothe my troubled spirit. In other words, WordPress cheesed me off. They’re lucky I didn’t bite somebody. When quokkas get riled, watch out!

So it’s a standing “O” for Jill, and some nice tasty leaves for me…

They’ve Done It To Me Again!

Angry Quokka 4" Poster by johngill | Redbubble

G’day! Byron the Quokka here: Lee is too cheesed off to write about this.

Overnight, WordPress changed the blog editing format so that now we can’t see exactly how many comments we have at any given time. That makes it really hard to run a comment contest! (And just after we ordered all those shirts, too! Grrrrr!)

Our only hope is that our tech wiz, Jill, can straighten this out. There’s this big fat long link we can use, and if she can paste it to a tool bar someplace where I can get at it, all will be well.

So keep commenting! We have quite a ways to go to hit 75,000, and we should have time enough to solve this stupid problem. You want to win a shirt, don’t you? Or a book.

I cannot imagine why WordPress keeps throwing unwanted changes at its users. Anyone would think they were trying to chase us away!

This would never happen if quokkas were running it.

Zero? Really? Zero?

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This morning I had no Likes and no comments waiting for me here. I don’t think that’s happened since we first started this blog, ten years ago. How does it happen? Did WordPress do something damaging? (They’ll deny it.)

And of course my stats page is all bollixed up for no reason, and can’t be fixed, and just looks horrible.

Well, things sort of have to get better from here… don’t they?

I Could Just Go Back to Bed!

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Yesterday, for no reason whatsoever–there’s never any reason–the computer turned my stats page into garbage. Now it’s very, very hard to work with. Plus it’s ugly. I hate looking at it.

The stats page is the home base for my work, so I spend a lot of time there. Now it’s hard to work because all the colors have been taken away and it looks so ugly, it’s a distraction.

We tried updating our whatsits, but of course that didn’t work. When it comes to computers, things hardly ever work. And they want to implant these wretched failures in our brains? Even our stupid brains work better than computers!

Now I can’t see which comments I’ve already viewed and which I haven’t–that ought to help the conversation along.

This is on top of my viewer numbers crashing into the basement.

Yesterday SlimJim helped me to do an experiment. It had a dramatic result, but I haven’t yet figured out how to interpret it. I wondered what would happen if a few readers shared a few of my posts on their own Facebook pages, or wherever. Jim gave it a try, and his post, on my page, brought in 55 views!

The rest of the blog’s performance yesterday was pretty miserable. It crashed on Jan. 17 and has never bounced back. I do not know why. WordPress’ happiness engineers insist WP has nothing to do with it. In fact, they insist I have no problem. That’s rich. I’m down over 100 views a day from where I was at this time last year–and close to 200 views down from November and December.

Too much frustration. Just too much.

WordPress: ‘Nope, It Wasn’t Us’

Make Your Own Sock Puppets - #1616000 – Faber-Castell USA

Not that it’s my fault or anything, sez the WordPress Happiness Engineer, that on Jan. 17 my viewer numbers crashed and have yet to come back–and it’s certainly not their fault, either, they hasten to add. Blame it on the Bossa Nova.

To remedy the situation, it is suggested that I “develop a social media presence.” Does that mean “Go out there and irritate people?” Maybe do some videos with a sock puppet. Yeah, that’ll pack ’em in.

They hint that I might write content that’s a wee bit more provoking than my usual fare. Heck, that’s what TV noozies do. But I’d really rather stick to telling the true, as far as humanly possible. I realize that slams the door on my career prospects in cable nooze, but I can’t help it.

Anyway, I haven’t done anything different, WordPress hasn’t done anything different (so they say; honk if you believe them), and the only idea I have left is to try to get my Twitter page up and running again. Or should I try another platform altogether–something new, maybe? I’ll have to ask.

Meanwhile, this blogging year got off to a great start and then hit a trip-wire…

I Might Disappear Today

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I have to find out why, on Jan. 17, my viewer number suddenly crashed and have never recovered. That means a visit to the WordPress Happiness Engineers.  Because it’s discouraging and maddening to keep writing and writing and just watch the viewership shrink by the day.

The last time this happened, last year, it was for three and a half months. Then it un-happened.

I’ve also got a brand-new computer affliction! When I go to type a capital letter, I get a nice long string of gibberish! This makes it take twice as long to post anything.

So I might be out of the saga for a few hours, trying to get things fixed. Fat chance of that–but one does have to try.

What’s Up with WordPress???

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This is fantastically frustrating–not to mention mystifying!

November, December, and the first half of January–smokin’, cruisin’, setting viewership records, riding high. It’s was wonderful!

And then, in the middle of January–crash. For no detectable reason. Just crash. Drop from 500 views a day to 300, now zeroing in on 200. I don’t know why.

Some of you have WordPress blogs, and all of you know computers better than I do. Your cat knows them better than I do. If nothing I do has changed, then why does this happen? Like, the only reward I get for this is for people to read my posts. So why do they suddenly stop? Or is this another WordPress cockup, where they stop counting accurately?

In this era of out-of-control censorship, writers are understandably suspicious that they might be getting censored. I wonder what would happen if I tried to get censored on purpose…

If I disappear altogether, know ye that it was not my doing.

Mount a search party!

More WordPress Weirdness

Question Mark Animal Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

There must be someone out there in computerland who can explain this to me.

Last night I checked my viewing stats: 261 views. We then watched a long movie. Two hours later, I checked the stats again: still 261 views. Not a single view added. But–!

Somehow a bunch of Likes and comments got added, without any more views. How could that happen? But it gets weirder than than. A lot of those comments were made by Tammy on a post that went up back on Oct. 1. Why were they re-running these?

I’m still losing 1,000 views a month, compared to last year and the first half of this year, and I still don’t know what’s going on. When I ask WordPress I just get a lot of techie lingo that might as well be Rongo-Rongo boards to me. I have asked for explanations in plain English, but haven’t gotten any.

Rongo Rongo - Deniart Systems Easter Island Rapanui Fonts

(In case you never heard of Rongo-Rongo: It comes from Easter Island, and no one knows how to read it.)

Anyway, I’m wondering if WordPress actually counts the views as they come in, or if there’s some kind of glitch they’re not telling us about–and it gives me a highly uneasy feeling about the elections coming up, in which “Vote by Mail!” is to play a major role. And probably a corrupt role, at that.

Which all leads to a bigger question: Does our hi-tech stuff still work? Really? Or are they only pretending it does?

Help!

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Would some of you please see if you can view my post, “The Third Most Common Nightmare”? WordPress gave me the devil’s own time with it today, first making it disappear, then somehow posting it while I wasn’t looking.

It was posted an hour ago and shows Zero views. That’s unheard-of. Where did they publish it–Mars? Or did they just publish it without issuing notifications to readers? Yeesh! I’m having enough trouble trying to get this blog back to normal–unwanted mysteries, I don’t need!

Now I Have No Facebook at All

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What are they trying to do to me?

This morning I have no Facebook connection at all. When I try to reconnect, WordPress tells me it’s “not allowed.” What?

Is this all to force me to use their shiny new “block editing”? Well, I can’t use it! And I don’t want to use it! I’m here to write, not sod around with computers.

WordPress acts more like an adversary than the provider of a service. But of course if I leave I’ll lost an archive numbering thousands of posts.

No wonder I’m down 120 views a day.

P.S.–Jill has found other Facebook buttons I can use, so at least I can go back to sharing my blog posts on my wife’s Facebook page. The only drawback is that the new buttons don’t tell me how many readers have shared the post. Maybe it’s a WordPress glitch that’ll go away. I don’t know.