WordPress: ‘Nope, It Wasn’t Us’

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Not that it’s my fault or anything, sez the WordPress Happiness Engineer, that on Jan. 17 my viewer numbers crashed and have yet to come back–and it’s certainly not their fault, either, they hasten to add. Blame it on the Bossa Nova.

To remedy the situation, it is suggested that I “develop a social media presence.” Does that mean “Go out there and irritate people?” Maybe do some videos with a sock puppet. Yeah, that’ll pack ’em in.

They hint that I might write content that’s a wee bit more provoking than my usual fare. Heck, that’s what TV noozies do. But I’d really rather stick to telling the true, as far as humanly possible. I realize that slams the door on my career prospects in cable nooze, but I can’t help it.

Anyway, I haven’t done anything different, WordPress hasn’t done anything different (so they say; honk if you believe them), and the only idea I have left is to try to get my Twitter page up and running again. Or should I try another platform altogether–something new, maybe? I’ll have to ask.

Meanwhile, this blogging year got off to a great start and then hit a trip-wire…

I Might Disappear Today

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I have to find out why, on Jan. 17, my viewer number suddenly crashed and have never recovered. That means a visit to the WordPress Happiness Engineers.  Because it’s discouraging and maddening to keep writing and writing and just watch the viewership shrink by the day.

The last time this happened, last year, it was for three and a half months. Then it un-happened.

I’ve also got a brand-new computer affliction! When I go to type a capital letter, I get a nice long string of gibberish! This makes it take twice as long to post anything.

So I might be out of the saga for a few hours, trying to get things fixed. Fat chance of that–but one does have to try.

What’s Up with WordPress???

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This is fantastically frustrating–not to mention mystifying!

November, December, and the first half of January–smokin’, cruisin’, setting viewership records, riding high. It’s was wonderful!

And then, in the middle of January–crash. For no detectable reason. Just crash. Drop from 500 views a day to 300, now zeroing in on 200. I don’t know why.

Some of you have WordPress blogs, and all of you know computers better than I do. Your cat knows them better than I do. If nothing I do has changed, then why does this happen? Like, the only reward I get for this is for people to read my posts. So why do they suddenly stop? Or is this another WordPress cockup, where they stop counting accurately?

In this era of out-of-control censorship, writers are understandably suspicious that they might be getting censored. I wonder what would happen if I tried to get censored on purpose…

If I disappear altogether, know ye that it was not my doing.

Mount a search party!

More WordPress Weirdness

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There must be someone out there in computerland who can explain this to me.

Last night I checked my viewing stats: 261 views. We then watched a long movie. Two hours later, I checked the stats again: still 261 views. Not a single view added. But–!

Somehow a bunch of Likes and comments got added, without any more views. How could that happen? But it gets weirder than than. A lot of those comments were made by Tammy on a post that went up back on Oct. 1. Why were they re-running these?

I’m still losing 1,000 views a month, compared to last year and the first half of this year, and I still don’t know what’s going on. When I ask WordPress I just get a lot of techie lingo that might as well be Rongo-Rongo boards to me. I have asked for explanations in plain English, but haven’t gotten any.

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(In case you never heard of Rongo-Rongo: It comes from Easter Island, and no one knows how to read it.)

Anyway, I’m wondering if WordPress actually counts the views as they come in, or if there’s some kind of glitch they’re not telling us about–and it gives me a highly uneasy feeling about the elections coming up, in which “Vote by Mail!” is to play a major role. And probably a corrupt role, at that.

Which all leads to a bigger question: Does our hi-tech stuff still work? Really? Or are they only pretending it does?

Help!

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Would some of you please see if you can view my post, “The Third Most Common Nightmare”? WordPress gave me the devil’s own time with it today, first making it disappear, then somehow posting it while I wasn’t looking.

It was posted an hour ago and shows Zero views. That’s unheard-of. Where did they publish it–Mars? Or did they just publish it without issuing notifications to readers? Yeesh! I’m having enough trouble trying to get this blog back to normal–unwanted mysteries, I don’t need!

Now I Have No Facebook at All

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What are they trying to do to me?

This morning I have no Facebook connection at all. When I try to reconnect, WordPress tells me it’s “not allowed.” What?

Is this all to force me to use their shiny new “block editing”? Well, I can’t use it! And I don’t want to use it! I’m here to write, not sod around with computers.

WordPress acts more like an adversary than the provider of a service. But of course if I leave I’ll lost an archive numbering thousands of posts.

No wonder I’m down 120 views a day.

P.S.–Jill has found other Facebook buttons I can use, so at least I can go back to sharing my blog posts on my wife’s Facebook page. The only drawback is that the new buttons don’t tell me how many readers have shared the post. Maybe it’s a WordPress glitch that’ll go away. I don’t know.

To My Fellow Christian Bloggers

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I have for years enjoyed sharing, with my readers, posts by other Christian bloggers. It pleased me to think I was widening their audience, and you all seemed very happy about it.

But now I can’t share your posts, and it’s not my fault.

First WordPress took away my Reblog function. Something about “you’re on a business plan, you’re not allowed reblog.” Then I discovered the “Share” button, that little symbol that looks like this >, and as long as I was sharing Christian posts that appeared on my Reader, it was just as good as a reblog.

But yesterday I was told I don’t have “Share” anymore–because the hoozit isn’t shebangled with the booscus and a hay-na-nonny and a ha-cha-cha. Oh, they’d let me have “Share” if I used their brand-new totally-impossible-to-understand “Block Editor.” I’ve seen it. I couldn’t use that if my life depended on it.

I have tried to explain to the WP Happiness Engineers. “This is your technology, not mine. I am just a passenger–and you don’t ask the passenger to come out of the plane and do maintenance on the jet engine. You need to be more user-friendly!” They say they’ll see what they can do, to allow me to Share even if I’m using the standard editing format that I’ve used for years. Betcha if their boss told them to find a way or else, they’d find one. But I’ll be very much surprised if they actually solve my problem for me.

So, guys, that’s why I’m not sharing your posts anymore: I want to, but I can’t. They won’t let me.

All I can do is keep pestering WordPress about it.

Is Our Facebook Back to Work?

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It looks like that nagging “301 Moved Permanently” message has been removed and no longer blocks you from sharing our Facebook posts. (If you hadn’t noticed, the posts go up in Patty’s Facebook page.)

The only way I can be sure is if some of you try to share today’s FB posts, or yesterday’s, and then let me know whether you were able to do it.

Meanwhile, I heard from WordPress yesterday that the loss of my “Share” function is a bug at their end and they’re trying to fix it. It’s their technology, they ought to be able to fix it without too much trouble. Unless their technology has been added to, taken from, and played with to the point where they themselves don’t understand it anymore.

So try sharing a post or two, please, and let me know how you make out.

Grrrrrrr!

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I’ve just squandered 45 minutes of my time on earth chatting with the WordPress happiness engineer, trying to get my Share button to work, which it suddenly stopped doing this past Sunday. For no reason.

I’ve got a real feel for this now. You get a problem, you can’t fix it, you go to the happiness engineer, and an hour or two later, they tell you there’s nothing they can do–you’ll just have to work it out yourself with plugins, settings, and code, etc.–and jars and jars of green and gooshy gopher guts.

In vain do I protest that I don’t speak computer lingo, I don’t know what they’re talking about. I do history, I do literature, I do politics, I do fantasy: I do not do settings and plugins. I mean, it’s their flamin’ technology! Why can’t they fix it when it goes wrong? I mean, come on, I’m just a passenger! I shouldn’t have to get out and repair the jet engine. What kind of service is that? What are we paying for?

You’d think they could make their own Share button work. “It’s a browser issue, nothin’ to do with us!” Yeah, that’s what they always say.

Fap.

But I Don’t Love This

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They took away my Reblog function, but I still try, honest. I tried again today. As far as my colleague at the Unashamed of Jesus blog knows, I successfully reblogged his post and he thanked me for it. But no sign of his post has appeared on my page. Sheesh, I don’t want people thinking that I’m only pretending to reblog them!

And now my Share button doesn’t work, either. It stopped working on Sunday. My tech support, Jill, can’t figure out what’s gone wrong. If it stumps her, it’s really wrong. I could go back to the WordPress Happiness Engineers, but they’ll just string me along for an hour and a half and the problem won’t get fixed. But I will get an earful of unintelligible computer-speak. This I don’t need.

Maybe they have a problem that they’re not admitting, and they’ll fix it someday, and the Share button will start working again. That would be nice.

But for the time being… oh, fap!