Some Things Trump Can’t Be Blamed For

Donald Trump–whatever else you say about him, he’s not them.

Living as I do in the New York media market, Donald Trump has been annoying me for decades.

If the 2016 presidential election were held tomorrow, I’d vote for him.

Here are some of the things that can be said for Donald Trump.

He has not sought to erase our country’s borders.

He has not participated in the radical redefinition of marriage.

He did not promise to stop Obama, win the ensuing election hands-down, and then turn around and cave in to Obama every chance he got.

He has not cut any sweetheart deals with Iran or any other enemy of America.

He has not handed over public money to Planned Parenthood.

He has not driven the United States $18 trillion into the hole.

He has not sought a federal takeover of America’s schools, and wasted public money on the project.

In short, he has not been an accomplice of our current gang of leaders on any of their wicked, frivolous, wasteful, misbegotten projects. And I don’t think there’s any way they can coerce or con him into joining them. He can tell the Chamber of Commerce, the big donors, La Raza, and Organized Sodomy to take long walks off short piers.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s Trump by default.

In Front of the Heavenly Tribunal

So here he is, Dennis Bottwitz, aka “Carlos Dangle,” up in front of God’s judgment seat. He can’t see all the way up to the top, but further down there are angels to question him.

They want to know why he committed adultery, when God told him not to.

“Um, well, er… Y’see, it was the slogan that did it,” he finally says, after a lot of hommina-hommina. “Yes, the Ashley Madison Dating Service slogan. Life is Short. Have an Affair.

“It was only an advertising slogan,” the prosecuting angel says.

“Yeah, yeah, I know! Except it got me really thinking. Like, life really is short. And you got to enjoy it while you can. And it was supposed to be discreet, no one was supposed to know…”

“So you signed up? Did you really think you’d get away with it?”

“Well, gee whiz! Have a heart! I never meant to do it more than once. Just once! How was I supposed to know my life was going to be that short? One night, just one night–and the next morning, that moron in the Volt hops the curb and kills me! And next thing you know, I’m here. And you’re going to send me to Hell because I made one mistake?”

“You didn’t do it by mistake, Dennis. You did it on purpose.”

Dennis is really upset now. He can’t help shouting. “Yeah, well, so did 38 million other customers! And that’s only the names that the hackers actually got. And so did I dunno how many million guys who did it on their own without any help from Ashley Madison! Millions and millions and millions! Are you gonna send us all to Hell? Hah! There won’t be room for us down there!”

The angels exchange pitying looks and shake their heads. Poor stupid mortals. Bad enough they’re lumbered with original sin. That they should also be such idiots seems harsh.

“Dennis, have you anything to say before this court passes sentence on you?”

“Have I got anything to say? I’ll say! [Censored] What kinda raw deal is this, anyway? Nobody ever told me this crazy setup was real! I mean, who would ever think that? Angels! Heavenly court! Nobody believes this stuff! Nobody! Just try to tell anybody that it’s real. They’ll laugh in your face! I mean, holy mackerel, who thinks Hell is real?

After the “Guilty” verdict, as Dennis is taking that last, long, going-down ride in a certain kind of elevator never seen on earth, he bewails the unfairness of it all. The angelic elevator operator listens sympathetically.

“Like, how was I ever gonna beat the rap? No one cares about adultery! It’s just having an affair. Everybody does it. Most people can’t even spell ‘adultery’! No, they had it in for me, up there. They all had it in for me. I was guilty before I even took the stand. Go ahead, tell me I wasn’t! Tell me what I could’ve said to get out of this!”

The operator sighs.

“You could have said, ‘I’m sorry.'”

But by now the car has finished its descent.

Libs Make War on the Dead

The only time liberals are more mean-spirited than they are when they’re losing… is when they’re winning.

They’re on a roll now, trashing marriage, stuffing their Organized Sodomy “rainbow” under everybody’s noses, banning the Confederate flag, defacing monuments, and so on.

Now the mayor of Memphis, TN, wants Confederate General Nathan Bedford Forrest dug up, along with Mrs. Forrest, evicted from his tomb, and his monument torn down.

I know this’ll get libs mad at me, but here are some facts.

*Before the Civil War, Forrest was a wealthy planter and slave trader. These activities were lawful in that time and place.

*With no military experience, training, or study, Forrest joined the Confederate Army, rose rapidly to the rank of lieutenant general, and became one of the most gifted and effective soldiers in American military history.

*After the war, Forrest was a founder of the Ku Klux Klan, and its first “grand wizard.” (That must have sounded better in the 19th century than it does today.)

*Forrest tried to dissolve the Klan, and then resigned from it, saying it had deserted its original mission of defending the South from being ruined and pillaged by the North.

*Although depicted in the Northern newspapers as a habitual war criminal, Forrest was never formally charged with any war crimes. (No Union officer, of course, was ever even mentioned in any postwar discussion of war crimes.) Bear in mind that the government did execute a number of Southern officers for war crimes.

*Forrest died in 1877. In 1905, the city of Memphis erected a statue to him and he and Mrs. Forrest were entombed beneath it.

*Starting in the 1980s, the NAACP, CORE, and other African-American organizations began to protest the monument, demanding that General and Mrs. Forrest be dug up and buried somewhere else.

The man died 138 years ago. Because his side lost the war, and because statists are in the driver’s seat today, the Confederacy is now depicted as an evil empire solely devoted to preserving slavery: which is not a fact.

If Forrest’s side had won the war, would they be demanding today that General and Mrs. Sherman be dug up? Had the South won, Sherman would have doubtlessly been prosecuted for massive crimes against the civilian population.

But liberals do not accept history any more than they accept facts. “Feelings” are everything.

So they desecrate the dead, who cannot defend themselves.

They can be thankful Bedford Forrest is not still alive.