Let the Party Begin!

48 Pin The Tail On The Donkey Photos and Premium High Res Pictures - Getty  Images

Tap the root beer keg! Break out the Monopoly game! Set up Pin the Tail on the Donkey! Let the imaginary party begin!

I forgot, in my eagerness to get the ball rolling, that my birthday this year falls on Mother’s Day. Well, then, bring your mother to the party! We won’t run out of food or fun. There are plenty of comfy chairs under the catalpa trees for those who’d just as soon take it easy. You don’t have to play horseshoes! And later we’ll have Mad Libs, so be sure to stick around for that. My mother always laughed herself silly, playing Mad Libs.

Yes, Norbert’s been invited. I think he just ran under the table over there. And Byron the Quokka is busy collecting comments for the comment contest. Violet Crepuscular should be here soon; Joe Collidge shouldn’t be here at all.

And we are taking hymn requests today, like every day.

We’re off to a pretty slow start, so spread the word–everyone’s invited, just drop in.

Play Ball! with Norbert

I’m still hopeful that Norbert will make it to my imaginary party tomorrow, but I forgot he has an imaginary baseball game scheduled for the afternoon.

Don’t sell him short–he has a 1.000 on-base percentage! If you think Eddie Gaedel was hard to throw a strike to… well, Norbert’s strike zone is actually smaller than the baseball.

The Story Of Eddie Gaedel, Major League Baseball's Shortest Player

Eddie Gaedel at bat.

Indeed, there’s a lot of controversy as to whether Norbert even has a strike zone.

Well, we’ll save him some goodies in case he shows up. The imaginary caterer is equal to any situation.

Setting Up My Birthday Party

Birthday Cake by Grandma Moses on artnet

“Birthday Cake” by Grandma Moses

Just because it’s an imaginary birthday party doesn’t mean you don’t have to do the work. Those of you who’ve already shown up, you can help me set up for tomorrow. And we’ve got a keg of root beer that requires our attention.

Here in real life, it’s cold and grey and rainy. We will have perfect weather for the party: plenty of lawn chairs around the big catalpa tree for sing-alongs, tall tales, and Mad Libs. By all means, Mad Libs. Have you noticed the tree is occupied by cardinals and bluebirds?

Our celebrity guests will be Byron the Quokka and Norbert. Quokkas are already setting up the Monopoly table.

Remember, you’re all invited, we’re going to have a wonderful (albeit imaginary) time… and there will be no nooze. It’s my birthday, and I’ll bar the doors to the nooze if I want to, so there.

 

You’re Invited to My Party!

Old Wooden Porch Swing Hanging On A Front Porch Of An Old Home Stock Photo,  Picture And Royalty Free Image. Image 20929701.

Sunday is my birthday, 72 years’ burdening the earth, and you’re all invited to my party. Our apartment isn’t suitable, so I’m constructing an imaginary house with a big back porch and a porch swing (gee, that picture looks like Grandpa’s porch! Just exactly like it!), horseshoe pits in the yard, folding tables for Monopoly games–the works. It’ll all be ready by Sunday morning.

There’ll be beer, cigars, wine, soft drinks, fruit punch; cake, donuts, crabcakes; and I wouldn’t be surprised if a few of you showed up with the means of making music for us. (You know who you are!) Hamburgers, hot dogs, spare ribs. I am prepared to spend however much imaginary money it takes to make this imaginary party a success.

If we put our minds to it and all work together, we just might look like a Grandma Moses painting.

So who’s gonna be there? Everyone’s invited.

Now excuse me while I set some lawn chairs under the catalpa tree…