Midnight Frolics

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Last night they shanghaied me back to the hospital and shoved me into an unlit room, couldn’t see a thing. No call button to press. No light fixture. I yelled for help, louder and louder, but nobody came (“‘Cause no one would’ve come if I’d yelled ‘Chocolate!'” –The Smothers Brothers).

First I sleepwalked, then fell back on the bed. It struck me that this was way too big to be a regular hospital bed. When I finally did get the shade up, it looked like my neighborhood outside. Then, shambling around in the dark, I found a door and opened it.

Eureka! I cautiously went down the stairs, hoping to wake my wife so she could tell me what was going on. There we were in our living room. The clock read midnight.

Okay, it was a dream–a frightfully convincing one. It certainly took me a while to realize that it was a dream. If you have a nightmare set in Macbeth’s Castle, that’s bad enough.. But when the monster’s already in your bedroom, then you’ve got a problem.

Gonna take me a while to get my head straightened out.

‘So I Had Me a Nightmare’ (2016)

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You wouldn’t like what comes out.

I sometimes have unusually vivid dreams, some of which find their way into my books. But every now and then I get hit with a real rotter.

So I Had Me a Nightmare

Heck, Frank Belknap Long dreamed a whole novelette, The Horror from the Hills–or rather , H.P. Lovecraft dreamed it and Frank Long wrote it. Get those two guys together, and anything could happen.

I do wonder where some of these outlandish dreams come from.

A Nightmare

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You know you’re spending too much time in the nooze when it starts breaking and entering into your dreams. When that happens, the dream becomes a nightmare.

The other night I dreamt I had to ride to work every day with… Hillary Clinton! It was a long ride, and I couldn’t get out of it because it was some kind of compulsory car-pool thingy. And she talked and talked and talked all the way there. You couldn’t have a conversation with her, any more than you can have a conversation with a bowling ball.

At least we can wake up from nightmares. The nooze is there every day.

Last Night’s Nightmare

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She’s worse when she comes off her rocker.

This was a corker.

I was in a house, no house in particular, and I had just finished a big job of tidying up a room that had looked like a cyclone hit it. I closed the door behind me, and had only taken a few steps down the hall when there was a horrific crash and clatter from the room I’d just cleaned up.

Oh, fie! Had the shelves fallen over? What happened?

I went back to see. I stepped into the room. Everything was a mess again, strewn all over the floor, furniture knocked over, all my work undone.

Then I hear a subtle creak, creak, creak… It’s a rocking chair: hadn’t noticed it before. And it’s occupied by Mother Bates from Psycho, and she has just stirred to get up from the chair–

Of course I woke up then! And mighty glad to do it, too.

P.S.–Y’know what? I think it’s reading the nooze every day that’s giving me bad dreams and a lingering sense of dread.