Our secret confidential sources have revealed that Attorney General Loretta Lunch–er, Lynch–has been meeting secretly with leading Senate Democrats to discuss the feasibility of having the Republican Party listed as a terrorist organization.
“If they can swing it,” said one of our sources, “they’ll have Donald Trump arrested and jailed before Election Day.”
Another source said that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is in the process of discovering a Constitutional right to have only a Democrat for president. “This would effectively outlaw the Republican Party,” he added.
But that being the case, who then would run against Hillary Clinton?
“Attorney General Lunch–er, Lynch–thinks that in that event, American’s mainstream news media would have the right to select the opposition candidate,” said our smartest source of all, you’d be amazed if we told you who it was. “Right now, the leading candidate to run opposed to Hillary is the late Soupy Sales. Internal polling shows Hillary ahead of Soupy, 51% to 49%.”
Democrat Senators were seen to come out of the meeting with paper bags over their heads, added our source. “But I was there when they took ’em off,” he said.