I don’t feel like covering any of the nooze that seeped out of Mordor this morning. I know they want me to cover it, because they want everyone to hear about it–in hopes that some will believe them. But I ain’t bitin’ on that hook.
Instead, I offer these few items of totally made-up nooze. As the person who made them up, I certify there isn’t a word of truth to them.
*No one can find any of the Democrat candidates for president. As of 6 a.m. this morning they were all reported as missing. No one seems to mind.
*A freak snowstorm this weekend buried a Climate Change march in Stockholm, Sweden.
*A new sex robot designed by Okashiio Baka Industries, in Japan, doubles as a toaster-oven when not being used for the more obvious purpose.
*Another Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to former President *Batteries Not Included “on general principles.” The entire Nobel committee was reportedly drunk at the time.
*The new Michael Moore movie opened to completely empty theaters all around the country, earning absolutely no money. Moore has offered a prize to anyone who can prove he or she saw it.
Gee, this is a lot easier than actual reporting. No wonder the nooze media like it so much.