Genuine Certified 100% Fake News

See the source image

I don’t feel like covering any of the nooze that seeped out of Mordor this morning. I know they want me to cover it, because they want everyone to hear about it–in hopes that some will believe them. But I ain’t bitin’ on that hook.

Instead, I offer these few items of totally made-up nooze. As the person who made them up, I certify there isn’t a word of truth to them.

*No one can find any of the Democrat candidates for president. As of 6 a.m. this morning they were all reported as missing. No one seems to mind.

*A freak snowstorm this weekend buried a Climate Change march in Stockholm, Sweden.

*A new sex robot designed by Okashiio Baka Industries, in Japan, doubles as a toaster-oven when not being used for the more obvious purpose.

*Another Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to former President *Batteries Not Included “on general principles.” The entire Nobel committee was reportedly drunk at the time.

*The new Michael Moore movie opened to completely empty theaters all around the country, earning absolutely no money. Moore has offered a prize to anyone who can prove he or she saw it.

Gee, this is a lot easier than actual reporting. No wonder the nooze media like it so much.

5 comments on “Genuine Certified 100% Fake News

  1. Yeah, I get your point. If they can just say anything that piques the fancy,
    why not.! Easier, more fun, and the paycheck keeps coming. Wow, you can’t beat that.

  2. Greta Thunderg to receive canonization for her Joan of Arc crusade to save the world.

    Easter to be celebrated at the same time as Christmas to help curb its emphases on the negative.

    A statue of Joseph Stalin to be erected on the front lawn of the Vermont home of Senator Bernie Sanders.

Leave a Reply