‘Today’s National Nitwit’ (2017)

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Michael Moore… Is he still here?

So Michael Moore, with a carbon footprint as big as his gut, warns us that “The Planet” is gonna take control and wipe out the human race for… well, for not listening to him.

Today’s National Nitwit

One thing our current age abounds in–false gods. More of them than you can shake a stick at. Maybe I should have a contest: “How Many of Today’s False Gods Can You Name?” Winner gets an onion.

‘Today’s National Nitwit’ (2017)

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No, I don’t think we should get up a search party for him.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but has Michael Moore wandered off the stage and can’t find his way back? I mean, just a few years ago, he was in the limelight every day.

Today’s National Nitwit

Leftids think “The Planet” is some kind of heathen deity that will actively take revenge on everybody who’s not them.

Why do all these ideologues sound like Charlie Manson?

‘You Just Can’t Get Racism Out of the Democrat Party’ (2017)

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No matter how far left they go, Democrats can’t shed their obsession with race. You’d think they believe racial strife is a good thing and that they ought to foment more of it.

You Just Can’t Get Racism Out of the Democrat Party

First they defended slavery, then they opposed Reconstruction, then they imposed segregation and Jim Crow–yes, that’s the Democrats’ record–and now they say they want to “shut down white people.” Is there anyone they don’t hate? Anyone they don’t want to shut down?

I refuse to believe the American people actually elected these swine who hate our country.

Genuine Certified 100% Fake News

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I don’t feel like covering any of the nooze that seeped out of Mordor this morning. I know they want me to cover it, because they want everyone to hear about it–in hopes that some will believe them. But I ain’t bitin’ on that hook.

Instead, I offer these few items of totally made-up nooze. As the person who made them up, I certify there isn’t a word of truth to them.

*No one can find any of the Democrat candidates for president. As of 6 a.m. this morning they were all reported as missing. No one seems to mind.

*A freak snowstorm this weekend buried a Climate Change march in Stockholm, Sweden.

*A new sex robot designed by Okashiio Baka Industries, in Japan, doubles as a toaster-oven when not being used for the more obvious purpose.

*Another Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to former President *Batteries Not Included “on general principles.” The entire Nobel committee was reportedly drunk at the time.

*The new Michael Moore movie opened to completely empty theaters all around the country, earning absolutely no money. Moore has offered a prize to anyone who can prove he or she saw it.

Gee, this is a lot easier than actual reporting. No wonder the nooze media like it so much.

One of Our Idiots Is Missing

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Has anybody seen David Hogg lately? The Democrats’ teen idol, at the start of this summer, was all over the place like fruit flies.

It was a prediction you didn’t need a crystal ball to make. Elevated to national prominence with dazzling speed, the teenage nasty became the Dems’ anti-Second Amendment poster boy. And no one, but no one, was allowed to criticize him… ’cause that would make you a bully. Never mind that he mocked and cursed his own parents in front of TV cameras. He was a survivor of the Parkland Shooting! And we all know by now, don’t we, that Anointed Survivors–anointed by liberals, that is–are sacrosanct.

But then, in August, Little Mr. Nastyface started to bite the hand that fed him. He called for age limits on politicians, mocked Grande Dame Nancy Pelosi for being “old,” and lamented that “Older Dems just won’t move the f*** off the plate” (always very hard for him to construct a sentence without the f-bomb: one of his endearing traits) (https://leeduigon.com/2018/08/28/dems-teen-wiz-kid-bashes-old-folks/).

In September, sharing a podium with veteran gasbag Michael Moore, the idiot Hogg called upon Canadian citizens to vote for Democrats in America’s elections next month. When it was whispered into his shell-like ear that Canadians can’t vote in our elections, he hit upon the idea of asking Canadians to donate to Democrat candidates. That, too, is illegal. Moore had to take over the microphone before Hogg dug their hole any deeper.

Well, let’s see. Other than being a boorish, ignorant little gitt, for a little while there David Hogg was solid gold. But then he did a Cindy Sheehan–remember Mother Sheehan? When she snapped at the Clintons’ ankles, she, too, became invisible–and that, it seems, was the end of him. Sigh: he coulda been a contender.

Amazing how fast some of these media mahdis come and go…

P.S.–I have been unable to confirm rumors that Groundhog Day is going to be replaced by Hogg-Hog Day: David Hogg comes out from wherever he is and if he drops an f-bomb, we get two more weeks of winter.

Dem Teen Idol Urges Canadians to Vote in U.S. Elections

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Sure you want to turn America over to this pair? Really sure?

These are the people who want to rule your country.

David Hogg, the ignorant little publicity-chewing monster created by the Democrats, had occasion last week to give a speech in Canada, sharing a platform with Michael Moore, yet another socialist wacko prominent in the Democrat Party.

Perhaps young master Hogg simply forgot where he was, he’s giving so many speeches lately; or maybe he forgot a few other things. So first he exhorted his Canadian audience to vote in America’s coming elections; then, trying but failing to correct himself, he urged them to donate to Democrat candidates in those elections (https://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2018/09/10/watch-david-hogg-asks-canadians-interfere-us-elections/). Well, even Michael Moore knows that’s illegal. But he couldn’t get through to Hogg and finally had to take the microphone from him.

Gee, that raises another question about those “open borders” that Hogg and Moore and other Democrats say they want to have.

Suppose we erase the border between the USA and Canada. At least we speak the same language (eh?) and have similar popular cultures. So we get rid of the border.

Now, if there’s no border, what’s to stop Americans from voting in Canadian elections, and Canadians from voting in American elections? Nothing, really. The situation quickly becomes absurd. With no borders, what’s the point of continuing to call these places “the United States” or “Canada”? You couldn’t run separate elections.

Goldarn it! Looks like we’ll just to have one government for both countries! And with a fraction of the population that the U.S. has, guess how well that’ll work out for Canada. The complications make your head hurt.

So much nicer to be like David Hogg, and not do any thinking at all.

America Needs No-Show Judges

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Here’s something the next Democrat president will have to deal with.

How do you get absolutely the best and wisest people to serve as judges, if they’re always busy doing something else? Why is there no one available but lawyers and such?

Imagine Michael Moore on the Supreme Court, with the federal courts presided over by the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Barbra Streisand, and a whole passel of gay and transgender activists, Climate Justice activists, Gender Studies professors who also belong to Antifa, and currently incarcerated felons. Imagine a court system truly reflective of the Democrat voting base.

Well, the reason we don’t have these all-stars from the real world serving as judges in our courts is because they just don’t have the time. You can’t be sitting there in a courtroom day after day when you should be out there making movies, or rioting.

So who says the judge actually has to be there? Give him or her a cell phone, and the decision can be rendered in between takes of a movie. Anyway, these people are so bright, they don’t even have to hear the evidence. Their instantaneous grasp of what ought to be done in any given case will make those court calendar pages fly!

Democrat solutions to America’s problems–they really work.

Today’s National Nitwit

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(Worships the creation, not the Creator)

So far, the biggest dope in America today is Michael Moore, who says President Donald Trump has actually caused “the extinction of human life on earth” by signing an executive order to undo some of President *Batteries Not Included’s Climbit Change regulations ( http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2017/03/28/michael-moore-trump-caused-extinction-human-life-earth/ ).

Moore warned darkly that The Planet itself–it seems he views it as a kind of deity–is “paying attention” to current events and will take action on its own to get rid of a species–mankind–that’s “hell-bent on destroying Earth.”

President Trump said his executive order gets rid of bad, unnecessary, job-killing regulations and puts an end to the previous administration’s “war on coal.”

Moore calls upon his fellow left-wing nitwits to “resist.” You know–like Trump’s the Nazis and they’re the French Resistance, bravely singing La Marseilles as they face the SS firing squad… Oh, please.

But don’t worry, Michael. Some other idol-worshiping left-wing pagan is sure to come along and be a bigger dope than you.

We has got To Biuld a Sankturairy

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Lets face it things is goin to be Bad untill we Can “get” Hillery to bee ore Pressadint and “untill that” hapens we is going to Need “a” sankturairy like Al them Sankturairy Citties whare Donold Trump he cant De-port nobody. My prefesser “he” says This here Collidge it got to bee our Sankturairy but i sayed No i got a Idea that is Even Better!!

Thare is a iland in the Carob Bean Sea it is caled Madrigasscar and whe Can biuld a sankturairy thare! Madrigasscar it was Dis-covvered by Colombas in 1942 and then It was part of the countree of Hungry for a wile but now Noboddy lives Thare becose it has Got too Crowded!! It is a Big iland i think its abuot 250 Sqware Foot and Whe can go and Live “thare” untill Hillery she “is” Pressadint and then Us Interllecturals we can al “come back” and Take Over!!! Aslo thare Is a grate Big House thare, yiu can See a piture of It up abbove and that wuld Be “ideel” for Smart peple to live in it!

Well My prefesser he sayed Yiu “are a idiat, dont yiu know no jeogriffy, Madriigasscar it is not in the Carob Bean it is In the Medritaranian See and ” thare are Zombees on it!! but i am Pretty Sure he “is” Wrong abuot that becose i Seen the piture! Wel even a Presser he cant Be rihght Al The Time!!

So i has been sining Up other Interllecturals hear at Collidge to go live in Madrigasscar untill Michale More he can get Rid of Donold Trumpt and then Hillery she “wil” be Pressadint and we Can putt al the Racists and Biggits in Jale! I also heared that Our Grate Pressadint Obamma he “was” born in Madrigasscar once after he was born in Americka and he Wil come and vissit Us and aslo Make the Sea Levvels to go down! and i Dont think we whill Has to stay in the Sankturairy very Long “befour” that Trump he Is all gone!!!

See yiu in Madrigasscar!!!

Gee, What Should Dems Do Next?

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As always happens whenever they lose a presidential election, Democrats are out there bellyaching about the Electoral College, boo-hoo it ain’t fair, snivel, snivel, etc. But of course the main business at hand, for them, is to figure out how to win the White House back in 2020.

As usual, the loathsome Michael Moore has the answer. Democrats, he says, should run even farther to the left than they do now ( http://therightscoop.com/michael-moore-tells-democrats-need-lurch-farther-left/ ). Even the Marxist pipsqueak they’ve had in the White House for the past eight years isn’t far enough left for them.

They simply cannot conceive of the American people rejecting their socialist, globalist, idiot program.

Well, I don’t know how they could get any farther to the left of where they are already; but Democrat consultant Friedrich Engels already has some ideas for the next party platform. “This will push us over the top,” he said. “Here’s where we need to be, four years from one.

“One, a 100% tax rate for everyone except the party’s top donors.

“Two, compulsory attendance at at least three gay weddings a year by everyone ten years old and up, and we will check to make sure you go!

“Three, free public housing for all illegal aliens. If necessary, confiscate the homes of anyone who didn’t vote for Hillary.

“Four, all American foreign policy to be decided by the United Nations.

“Five, a Constitutional amendment giving the president the power to do absolutely anything he wants, if he thinks it’ll be good against Climate Change.

“We may also want to throw in some planks about legalizing just about everything, outlawing Christianity, and setting up luxury safe spaces on every city block in America,” he added, “but we’ll have to see how the money holds up.”

Finally, he said, “We only lost that election because of Hillary, she blew it, there is no way the American people reject liberalism and Big Government, otherwise we never would’ve had a President Obama. You’ll see–next time, we win all the marbles. All we need is a presidential candidate who is black, lesbian, and here in the United States illegally. And it shouldn’t be too hard to find one!”